[Koopatroopa]

Is it ok if you are married,and you have a freind/coworker that uses sexual inuuendos from the point of meeting you,and your spouse says something to you,to the other person,and it still goes on.your spouse says they don't have a problem with it,but you do,and the person says them infront of the husband.i guess I am trying to get to the bottom of this,guys and girls please respond with your experience, why is the guy saying these things infront of me.why is my wife silent when the things are said infront of me.

 

[Mr.Married]

Everyone already told you that your wife is the problem

 

[Koopatroopa]

Everyone already told you that your wife is the problem

Just trying to work through the pain ,I need hard hard evidence, she is crafty,she had a government job doing certain things that require deception,manipulation, ect.this is why it's hard for me,so with her being on the road most of the time there is no way I will find text she calls because she drives most the time,no condoms because I never am alone in her truck.i don't really have anything to go on besides the obvious, right now it's like it never happened, I am on the phone with her right now.i am not ok.she also just told me I SHOULD OF STOPPED him and told him to kick rocks a year ago when the second time happened, I feel it was on her because it was her work freind not mine.plus the low sex drive the intimacy decline has a valid excuse her overy was removed which screws up your sex drive, thats why I dont understand if it's been physical, also says if it's this hard to get into sex with you what makes u think I want it from other people.she just said she wants to come home because she misses me.call me a dumb a55 call me pathetic because I can't seem to want to believe that she would do this after she puts herself as a upright honest person.i hope you understand.

 

[Mr.Married]

It is often spoken about how people in affairs are in a fog and aren’t thinking straight. It’s definitely true and we see it here all the time. On the other hand it isn’t much spoken about the topic of the betrayed or hurt having to go through their own fog ….. better known as denial. They formulate all kinds of walls and protection mechanisms in their mind to protect their reality. We from the outside don’t have those walls built up so we see things more clearly for what they are.

Your quickest path to recovery is to remove the denial and see the truth as best you can. Ask your friends if you have any close ones. Tell them to give you the honest hard truth and see what they say.

Women with a hysterectomy have affairs all the time. I understand it can make them nutty for a while but that isn’t what this is about no matter how hard you want to believe it

 

[Koopatroopa]

It is often spoken about how people in affairs are in a fog and aren’t thinking straight. It’s definitely true and we see it here all the time. On the other hand it isn’t much spoken about the topic of the betrayed or hurt having to go through their own fog ….. better known as denial. They formulate all kinds of walls and protection mechanisms in their mind to protect their reality. We from the outside don’t have those walls built up so we see things more clearly for what they are.

Your quickest path to recovery is to remove the denial and see the truth as best you can. Ask your friends if you have any close ones. Tell them to give you the honest hard truth and see what they say.

Women with a hysterectomy have affairs all the time. I understand it can make them nutty for a while but that isn’t what this is about no matter how hard you want to believe it

Yea I understand everything you are saying,but are those women on hormones?she is not,can't take anything that raises her blood pressure,that's why it's hard.

 

[peace&love]

She doesn't have to be horny to eat sausage and like it. Possibly happened with you on the phone. How would you know. The point I'm trying to make is you know the truth. No one on this website can tell you what you don't already know.. no one here can tell if she is cheating or isn't no matter how much proof you tell us you have. Either you believe her or you don't and move on to the next step accordingly.

 

[SunCMars]

Yea I understand everything you are saying,but are those women on hormones?she is not,can't take anything that raises her blood pressure,that's why it's hard.

Many medications affect blood pressure.
Driving it up or down.

Those ladies on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can also take medicine to lower her blood pressure.

Let her gynecologist, or her personal care physician (PCP) decide what she can safely do.

Anything else, is an excuse.

There are some prohibitions with using HRT.
Let her physician discuss those with her.

When it comes to our health there are no free lunches.

 

[peace&love]

I can tell you in a rough working environment if there is an attractive woman she is going to be told all kinds of wild things. Some women like it and talk back, some don't. Of course if your wife said it's no big deal, my guess is she is saying it back to the men , just not in front of you.. she loves you cause you won't leave her and she can do as she pleases. She knows this that's why she is showing you jusssss enough attention that your okay.

 

[whammyface]

How haven't you blown it up on the spot in front of everyone. Why haven't you confronted this man directly to his face? And why haven't you told your wife that if she continues to let other men disrespect our marriage, that you'll end it?

 

[Koopatroopa]

How haven't you blown it up on the spot in front of everyone. Why haven't you confronted this man directly to his face? And why haven't you told your wife that if she continues to let other men disrespect our marriage, that you'll end it?

I blew up she got in trouble at her job if you care to read this thread all the way out.i had to tell dude to fu36 off not her she said I should of said that the 2nd time it happened, I feel she should of it was her friendship/relationship with this man I was not nor did I want to be cool with him or be his freind she knew this.

 

[Tdbo]

Just trying to work through the pain ,I need hard hard evidence, she is crafty,she had a government job doing certain things that require deception,manipulation, ect.this is why it's hard for me,so with her being on the road most of the time there is no way I will find text she calls because she drives most the time,no condoms because I never am alone in her truck.i don't really have anything to go on besides the obvious, right now it's like it never happened, I am on the phone with her right now.i am not ok.she also just told me I SHOULD OF STOPPED him and told him to kick rocks a year ago when the second time happened, I feel it was on her because it was her work freind not mine.plus the low sex drive the intimacy decline has a valid excuse her overy was removed which screws up your sex drive, thats why I dont understand if it's been physical, also says if it's this hard to get into sex with you what makes u think I want it from other people.she just said she wants to come home because she misses me.call me a dumb a55 call me pathetic because I can't seem to want to believe that she would do this after she puts herself as a upright honest person.i hope you understand.

Nothing is ever going to change until you leverage the agency in your relationship
She is right on one thing: You should have stopped him while he was doing it, and put her ass to the curb for condoning it.
Love and respect are two things that are necessary in any relationship.
I can't speak to the first in your case, but I can certainly speak to the second.
If she had respect for you, she would have shut him down instantaneously.
I can say without any doubt, that if my wife were in that situation, she would shut it down quickly, because she knows that if I would become engaged in it it would be about 10x worse.
She also knows that if she condoned it, that I would be done. She knows that I walk my talk.
However, above all, she would do it out of love and respect for me. She has demonstrated this many times through actions, not just through noise.
Stop freaking out about her ovary. That is not the crux of the issue.
Ovaries are not integral to basic respect.
Read this today. You need it badly:

Robert Glover No More Mr Nice Guy : Robert Glover : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Self Help

archive.org

 

[MIB]

Two of my brothers are truck drivers. They are two of the most foul mouthed, juvenile joke-loving, uncouth, brash, and sexist people I know.

God help the lady who would have to work with guys like them.

HOWEVER…. if they were asked to tone it down, either by a coworker or a coworker’s husband, they both WOULD. They may be very immature in their relations with folk, but they aren’t a-holes. They would apologize and comply. They both do have good hearts, as I feel most do.

The guy you posted about can’t breach boundaries that aren’t there. Your wife is gladly leaving the gate open to her virtue and integrity. The problem is with her. As long as she allows it, any resistance or effort on your part only has both of them making you look like a fool.

Youre not a fool, by the way. But that is how unsympathetic pricks will see you.

 

[Koopatroopa]

Nothing is ever going to change until you leverage the agency in your relationship
She is right on one thing: You should have stopped him while he was doing it, and put her ass to the curb for condoning it.
Love and respect are two things that are necessary in any relationship.
I can't speak to the first in your case, but I can certainly speak to the second.
If she had respect for you, she would have shut him down instantaneously.
I can say without any doubt, that if my wife were in that situation, she would shut it down quickly, because she knows that if I would become engaged in it it would be about 10x worse.
She also knows that if she condoned it, that I would be done. She knows that I walk my talk.
However, above all, she would do it out of love and respect for me. She has demonstrated this many times through actions, not just through noise.
Stop freaking out about her ovary. That is not the crux of the issue.
Ovaries are not integral to basic respect.
Read this today. You need it badly:

Robert Glover No More Mr Nice Guy : Robert Glover : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Self Help

archive.org

I downloaded it.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

Just trying to work through the pain ,I need hard hard evidence, she is crafty,she had a government job doing certain things that require deception,manipulation, ect.this is why it's hard for me,so with her being on the road most of the time there is no way I will find text she calls because she drives most the time,no condoms because I never am alone in her truck.i don't really have anything to go on besides the obvious, right now it's like it never happened, I am on the phone with her right now.i am not ok.she also just told me I SHOULD OF STOPPED him and told him to kick rocks a year ago when the second time happened, I feel it was on her because it was her work freind not mine.plus the low sex drive the intimacy decline has a valid excuse her overy was removed which screws up your sex drive, thats why I dont understand if it's been physical, also says if it's this hard to get into sex with you what makes u think I want it from other people.she just said she wants to come home because she misses me.call me a dumb a55 call me pathetic because I can't seem to want to believe that she would do this after she puts herself as a upright honest person.i hope you understand.

You should have said something. It was bother you, but you wanted her to say something about it. Yeah, it would have been great if she took care of it, but I think it is on you for not saying something.

I also think the ovary thing is an excuse. Generally speaking lone ovary is enough to maintain a healthy hormonal level and even the ability to still get pregnant.

And this line, "if it's this hard to get into sex with you what makes u think I want it from other people." That is simple to answer. They turn her on more than you. It is common for a cheating wife to do all kinds of things exually with an AP that they don't do with a husband. Same thing, they are more turned on by their AP.

 

[Southern Yankee]

call me a dumb a55 call me pathetic

All other things aside, why would you want to be in any kind of relationship with somebody that talks to you like this? Even a friendship?

If my BF ever spoke to me like this, he would be GONE. If a friend ever spoke to me like this, I'd ghost them. My brother used to speak to me like this, and I don't talk to him anymore.

 

[Koopatroopa]

All other things aside, why would you want to be in any kind of relationship with somebody that talks to you like this? Even a friendship?

If my BF ever spoke to me like this, he would be GONE. If a friend ever spoke to me like this, I'd ghost them. My brother used to speak to me like this, and I don't talk to him anymore.

Thank you I am going to have a hard talk to her when she comes into town,she is a truck driver and she is on the road at the moment.

 

[Jimi007]

You are a stay at home dad....I'm assuming.
The OM said that to you in front of your wife to humiliate you....I'll bet they got a real laugh about it afterwards....At your expense. Maybe during the Thanksgiving dinner or back at the truck later to talk about your marriage problems...

I'm not trying to be an ass to you ,but you have to see where this is going....

I'm actually surprised you didn't smack him in the mouth....

I would think long and hard about your relationship ...The way that guy talked , it's like your being cucked...

 

[Exit37]

I blew up she got in trouble at her job if you care to read this thread all the way out.i had to tell dude to fu36 off not her she said I should of said that the 2nd time it happened, I feel she should of it was her friendship/relationship with this man I was not nor did I want to be cool with him or be his freind she knew this.

You need to stop letting her gaslight you, but it’s clear you won’t. And she knows it…. She knows that you will believe her BS because you are terrified of losing her. Or you’ll believe it enough to stick around.

Many women lose respect for men who do not have and enforce boundaries…. I think that’s happening here. Sausage man is an idiot, but he’s an “alpha” idiot (and I hate that term) who is going to bulldoze his way to what he wants, and only your wife can stop it (or perhaps you, if you can track him down and show him why he should want to stay away from your wife. But if you had that in you I assume you would have done that by now).

So I don’t know. If you won’t actually stand up for yourself and stop letting her BS you, then you probably just need to believe her. At least that way you can live pretending like all is well, and she can take a break from all the lying, which she must find exhausting at this point.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Koopatroopa]

You are a stay at home dad....I'm assuming.
The OM said that to you in front of your wife to humiliate you....I'll bet they got a real laugh about it afterwards....At your expense. Maybe during the Thanksgiving dinner or back at the truck later to talk about your marriage problems...

I'm not trying to be an ass to you ,but you have to see where this is going....

I'm actually surprised you didn't smack him in the mouth....

I would think long and hard about your relationship ...The way that guy talked , it's like your being cucked...

Yes I am a stay at home dad,she still says she thinks she did nothing wrong.

 

[BigDaddyNY]

Yes I am a stay at home dad,she still says she thinks she did nothing wrong.

Well she is wrong, either due to straight up lying or being tone deaf to your feelings.