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There are a lot of sexual issues in my marriage. First marriage with 3 kids, been married for 14 years. We are both in our early 30's.
We have sex about once a week, but that is not good enough for me. A few years ago, its like all of a sudden, my wife's sexual desire diminished. I was thinking that maybe it is the birth control...don't know for sure. My wife has lost her libido and views herself very insecurely. She hates the way she looks and this hinders her sexual performance. And yes, I have assured her that I am attractive to her and desire her and it doesn't matter what her body looks like (she is only a size 13 in pant size).
I know that the stress of three kids often weights her down and her desire to have sex is a tough one. Also, she never initiates sex, which is hard for me, because I hate to keep begging her. I hate the begging aspect. I wish my wife initiated more or at least showed a desire that she desires my body. I feel undesirable and unwanted sexually by my wife...that is how I feel. When we have sex, its great and we both always have an orgasm. There is just so much on my wife's mind that it is hard for her to get in the mood.
She gets depressive at times and feels like a failure (which in a sense she is, in the realm of sex), BUT I DO NOT TELL HER THAT! She is sad that she cannot perform the way she use to and she is sad that she cannot please me the way she use to. She doesn't have any answer on how to fix herself. She just gives up and doesn't even try, which doesn't resolve the situation. And we have talk about this issue beyond belief...beat it half to death.
What advice can anyone give to her and what advice can anyone give to me?
We have sex about once a week, but that is not good enough for me. A few years ago, its like all of a sudden, my wife's sexual desire diminished. I was thinking that maybe it is the birth control...don't know for sure. My wife has lost her libido and views herself very insecurely. She hates the way she looks and this hinders her sexual performance. And yes, I have assured her that I am attractive to her and desire her and it doesn't matter what her body looks like (she is only a size 13 in pant size).
I know that the stress of three kids often weights her down and her desire to have sex is a tough one. Also, she never initiates sex, which is hard for me, because I hate to keep begging her. I hate the begging aspect. I wish my wife initiated more or at least showed a desire that she desires my body. I feel undesirable and unwanted sexually by my wife...that is how I feel. When we have sex, its great and we both always have an orgasm. There is just so much on my wife's mind that it is hard for her to get in the mood.
She gets depressive at times and feels like a failure (which in a sense she is, in the realm of sex), BUT I DO NOT TELL HER THAT! She is sad that she cannot perform the way she use to and she is sad that she cannot please me the way she use to. She doesn't have any answer on how to fix herself. She just gives up and doesn't even try, which doesn't resolve the situation. And we have talk about this issue beyond belief...beat it half to death.
What advice can anyone give to her and what advice can anyone give to me?