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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am 38 and have been married for 8 years now. I love my husband dearly and we have one child together that is now 7. I also have a daughter from a previous relationship. I am not sure where to turn anymore because talking to my husband is useless. I have been telling him that I need more sex for about 3-4 years now. He will appease me and then it's as if we never had the conversation. I can't take it anymore. I printed out some marriage therapists for us to see, but, considering it has been so long that I have been talking to this wall, I'm feeling hopeless. I feel so detached from the person that I married and I am fearing that the end of this road is near. Maybe I'm crazy, but, making love to my husband makes me at least "feel" closer to him. I find myself masturbating instead of bothering him anymore. I walk around everyday with a feeling of rejection and I can't stand it. Any other women in a sexless marriage out there? What have you done?
 

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I am 38 and have been married for 8 years now. I love my husband dearly and we have one child together that is now 7. I also have a daughter from a previous relationship. I am not sure where to turn anymore because talking to my husband is useless. I have been telling him that I need more sex for about 3-4 years now. He will appease me and then it's as if we never had the conversation. I can't take it anymore. I printed out some marriage therapists for us to see, but, considering it has been so long that I have been talking to this wall, I'm feeling hopeless. I feel so detached from the person that I married and I am fearing that the end of this road is near. Maybe I'm crazy, but, making love to my husband makes me at least "feel" closer to him. I find myself masturbating instead of bothering him anymore. I walk around everyday with a feeling of rejection and I can't stand it. Any other women in a sexless marriage out there? What have you done?
Why did your husband tell you or why do you think he does not want to have sex with you? I hate to ask this but have you let yourself go? Does he have some physical problems?
 

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Define "more sex", please. As in, how often do you have sex now, and how often are you thinking is reasonable? How old is your husband?

C
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
We have both gained weight. I still put as much effort into what I wear, my hair, and make-up as I did when I was young/skinny. I would say that we are probably averaging once a month. We could easily skip that and and he probably wouldn't even notice. Even though both of us have gained weight, I am just as attracted to him as the first day that I met him. I am tired of being the one that initiates and frankly, I'm just hurt that we talk about needing to make love more, yet, it just doesn't happen. I researched some marital therapists in the area and I am going to make an appointment for us to go. I have even questioned his sexual orientation fearing that maybe he was just trying to be "normal".

I guess what I walk away with is that he just doesn't want to or he would make the effort or at the very least meet me halfway. At this point, is this even salvageable? Who wants to have sex with someone who is just going through the motions to make someone else happy?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sorry, forgot to respond to the question regarding "physical problems". No, none that I am aware of. He always rises to the occasion when coerced...
 
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