Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 28 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband is being very h0rny towards me these days. Hes always been sexy towards me but nowadays its getting a bit too much..
There are times when I just want to snuggle up to him and rest my head on his chest but he will be unzipping my clothes and feeling me all over.. I tried to tell him that i just want to be with him but he doesnt listen. He pins me to bed and does it till he can.
Hes large and too much sex results in my thighs getting bruised and sometimes i can barely walk. And I am petite while hes very tall and a bit on muscular side. He is very good looking but keeps saying i am very cute and lovely.

If i am cooking, he ll come and fondle me intimately. And we end up kissing. Same at restaurants. He sits real close to me and he always keeps his face really close to me.

We married two years ago. We are 11 years apart in age, hes thirty four and i am twenty three. He has a 5 year old whose custody he has.
I told him my feelings, but he was hurt.. He told me I don't find him desirable. I had to make puddings for him and have sex with him to make him normal again.

Is it related to his past? He was on substances for 8 years, was a player and had a bad materialistic first marriage. I pressured him into medication and rehabilitation for substances so hes off it now and committed to me.
I dont want to push him away because he might get hurt and thats the last thing I want to do.

What should i do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
115 Posts
You two need to talk about it.
How much is OK for you two to get what you need without it becoming excessively distracting to your lives.
Talk openly, honestly and lovingly.
This is a problem you can solve together.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,546 Posts
You need to explain to him that non sexual touch is very important to a woman.

As another poster said its great he's do into you but there needs to be balance and he needs to respect your boundaries.

You will be repelled by him if you feel you can never touch without it being sexual. To have a good connection you need both.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,243 Posts
The boundary discussion definitely needs to take place. It can be done in a loving, mature and respectful manner.

There is his side to look at as well. If he is HD and you shut him down he is definitely going to resent it. Is the sex horrible? Are there other positions that you could use that would not cause the bruising?

If I am reading correctly you are saying he forces you and that is not ok married or not. That is the first thing that has to stop. No means no even when you are married.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
472 Posts
It shouldn't hurt - if it does there's a problem - and he should be sensitive to that.
(Not the same as feeling a bit worn through frequent use. So long as it doesn't become painful.)

First up - maybe some positional changes - if you're getting bruising because he's much bulkier than you - maybe you could try going on top, or finding another position where his weight isn't impacting so much. There are many options.

And boundaries - yes - you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable.

That said, it's nice that he desires you so much (I know the feeling - I have the same desires for my wife - have had to channel them into appropriate times/places ... it can be hard at times - double entendre intended!)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
There are tons of deprived women on this website who would kill to be in your shoes. I guess some people just can't be pleased.
That's really insensitive and you should know better than to post something like that in this forum.

I am HD and my husband very LD right now, and you know what, I would not trade that for him forcing himself on me against my wishes, treating me like a plaything, and making me feel guilty about making him feel undesirable when I try to express my discomfort with it.

They both have needs and their needs differ, so what's wrong with her expecting to have hers met and to not be forced to meet his needs regardless of her wishes?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
The boundary discussion definitely needs to take place. It can be done in a loving, mature and respectful manner.

There is his side to look at as well. If he is HD and you shut him down he is definitely going to resent it. Is the sex horrible? Are there other positions that you could use that would not cause the bruising?

If I am reading correctly you are saying he forces you and that is not ok married or not. That is the first thing that has to stop. No means no even when you are married.
He doesnt force me, just acts mushy and then begins what he wants.
I like to keep him happy and pleased so I give in. And thanks I ll tell him my feelings and I hope he understands this time.

Someone asked about what substances. He was on drugs 3 years back and before it too, but now hes off it and he still goes to therapy.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
48,109 Posts
There are tons of deprived women on this website who would kill to be in your shoes. I guess some people just can't be pleased.
I don't think that any woman wants what she is going through on a normal basis.. to be held down and have him go at it until her legs are brused? And while she's telling him to not do it...

yea every women wants to be all brused up from sex...
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
48,109 Posts
Well maybe I need to read the op a little closer. Anyway, happy I could help Trenton. We always seem to see eye to eye.
Here let me help...

My husband is being very h0rny towards me these days. Hes always been sexy towards me but nowadays its getting a bit too much..

There are times when I just want to snuggle up to him and rest my head on his chest but he will be unzipping my clothes and feeling me all over.. I tried to tell him that i just want to be with him but he doesnt listen. He pins me to bed and does it till he can.

Hes large and too much sex results in my thighs getting bruised and sometimes i can barely walk.
And I am petite while hes very tall and a bit on muscular side. He is very good looking but keeps saying i am very cute and lovely.

If i am cooking, he ll come and fondle me intimately. And we end up kissing. Same at restaurants. He sits real close to me and he always keeps his face really close to me.

We married two years ago. We are 11 years apart in age, hes thirty four and i am twenty three. He has a 5 year old whose custody he has.

I told him my feelings, but he was hurt.. He told me I don't find him desirable. I had to make puddings for him and have sex with him to make him normal again.

Is it related to his past? He was on substances for 8 years, was a player and had a bad materialistic first marriage. I pressured him into medication and rehabilitation for substances so hes off it now and committed to me.
I dont want to push him away because he might get hurt and thats the last thing I want to do.

What should i do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,335 Posts
I'd be very interested to hear his perspective in all this. There's two sides to every story. I wonder if the people crucifying him have the ability to put themselves into his shoes.

But the jury has spoken I guess.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
48,109 Posts
I'd be very interested to hear his perspective in all this. There's two sides to every story. I wonder if the people crucifying him have the ability to put themselves into his shoes.

But the jury has spoken I guess.
Yea, there must be a good excuse to hold his wife down and bruise her like that... Look I know that bruising can happen sometimes but this sounds extreme.
 
1 - 20 of 28 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top