I could be classified as a "nice guy" also but I have no problem telling my wife what I want or what feels good. One thing that we have done is read a book together (like "The Guide to Getting It On") and talk about what we are reading.
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Are you married to MY husband?! I could have written that post myself. Wow.
All I can say is keep trying. We've been dealing with a lot of stuff more serious than this in the last couple of years, and one thing that's happened is that he is FINALLY starting to open up a wee bit more about what he likes in bed (as well as in other aspects of his life). He has always been SO focused on me and my pleasure that I don't even know if HE knows what he likes. But we're getting there. We also talk about this in MC.
I keep plugging away, bringing things up, suggesting things, asking him when we're doing it if this or that feels good or he likes it or to tell me what he wants. It's a slow process but I think we're making some headway at least
All I can say is keep trying. We've been dealing with a lot of stuff more serious than this in the last couple of years, and one thing that's happened is that he is FINALLY starting to open up a wee bit more about what he likes in bed (as well as in other aspects of his life). He has always been SO focused on me and my pleasure that I don't even know if HE knows what he likes. But we're getting there. We also talk about this in MC.
I keep plugging away, bringing things up, suggesting things, asking him when we're doing it if this or that feels good or he likes it or to tell me what he wants. It's a slow process but I think we're making some headway at least
I've tried that, and all I usually get is something like "I like whatever turns you on" or "I like it when you cum" and other such stuff. If I push it he starts making jokes
He has said he fantasizes about a threesome with another woman - like most guys I guess - but that isn't about to become reality. He doesn't want it to be real anyway. Getting him to talk about it is a PITA. You just have to keep trying and keep trying.
I'm a nice guy and my wife is the nice girl. Sometimes it isn't the greatest match sexually to both be "nice." I've been slowly beating down the walls.
Directly asking has been tough though. I build up the courage to ask, and feel like I don't get a completely honest answer. I told my wife I think we both have an inner freak that we are hesitant to share with each other.
I have found that I have been slowly able to push the envelope. It hasn't always been easy being the "nice" guy. It pushes me out of my comfort zone, but it has been worth it to a point. Still have a ways to go, but I see progress.
Push his envelope some. Start fairly slow but maybe do something a little out of the ordinary and see his response. You might have to continue to initiate and suggest things. Being the "nice" guy myself, I imagine I could be persuaded to do some things if my wife were the more naughty of the two.
Directly asking has been tough though. I build up the courage to ask, and feel like I don't get a completely honest answer. I told my wife I think we both have an inner freak that we are hesitant to share with each other.
I have found that I have been slowly able to push the envelope. It hasn't always been easy being the "nice" guy. It pushes me out of my comfort zone, but it has been worth it to a point. Still have a ways to go, but I see progress.
Push his envelope some. Start fairly slow but maybe do something a little out of the ordinary and see his response. You might have to continue to initiate and suggest things. Being the "nice" guy myself, I imagine I could be persuaded to do some things if my wife were the more naughty of the two.
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