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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, so my SO and I talk about when and how we masturbate, etc. it's ok with both of us as long as both our needs are met & we are both sexually satisfied.

It's also not cool with either of us if we do it when we are both home. We work opposite schedules, me nights & him days, so that's never been an issue.

He's 23 and I'm 33. I have a high drive as does he.

Anyway, he tells me the only thing he doesn't like about my masturbating at anytime is when I use the toys. Ie dildo.

He said he'd like one too (toy for a guy) and that's ok with me but I'm afraid hell end up liking it more than me!

It's likely tighter for one. For two, he wants one to grab onto, like one that's like just a hoo ha and butt. The other options would be just like using his hand and defeats the purpose he thinks. He loooooves bug butts, of which I am seriously lacking!

I'm considering doing away with the dildos. I'm kinda scared. But I don't wanna sound like a hypocrite!

Any guys out there have toys? Prefer them to your wife/SO? Comparable?

Any advice from males or females is greatly appreciated!!!
 

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I have had two Pockey pussies. The first was this long pinky translucent tube with ribs. It felt awesom. Next I got this realistic looking one with vulva etc. not as good. Neither were anything close to the real thing. First off they are cold and second there is no body to hold. I began to wonder about these partial bodies made from latex bit find them creepy as if you have a mutilated person or corpse. Kind of gross. In the end the hand is the next best thing. The latest one even has vibrating mehanisms - still kind if disappointing...
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You are way over thinking this and just get back to having fun with it.The real things ius still the best but I do like the toys to add to the wildness.

Get a hitachi magic wand and you can share it that way neither one of you is left out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Actually, my dildos are not bigger than him, so that's not the issue.
My issue is he will get lazy and/or like it better.
He's only 23. Not too terribly many sexual experiences before me.
But there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. Sexually it otherwise. So if he wants this, it's his.
On the other hand, I can still compromise with him and get rid of everything but again I want the experience for him/with him.
Liking the wand suggestion a lot! Thank you :) it would be cool to have one to share.
About over thinking. That's not the first time I've heard that in any aspect of my life. ;)
 

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What did he do for self gratification before he was with you?
If you are worried he may find a latex substitute more gratifying than you, there may be deeper issues in the relationship that need attention.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
We've been together just over a year. We've been living together for 5 months now. However, we've been friends for 2 years.

Before me, he just masturbated with his hand. That's what he told me. And now too. He also uses porn which is not a big deal to me.
It's not a big deal to me mostly because I know it can be 'normal' if an addiction doesn't develop, or other issues like that.

My issue is he is 23. He's so super hot. I'm 33 and super hot as well, but I'm 33. I really don't want to say I'm 'super hot' it sounds ridiculous. My esteem issues are coming from our age difference. Although he is so young, he acts like a 40 year old in every other aspect of his life. I guess sex-wise too.

We talk, talk, talk. We have great communication. He is well aware of my concerns most of the time unless i feel embarrassed, then I eventually tell him anyway.

He works hard at our relationship
There were sex issues a few months ago after our move which I'm sure was super stressful for him. I guess I'm going thru a phase in my 30s where I can't get enough. We work 12 hour days, sometimes 7 days. He's tired. I get offended. We've talked about it.

His sexual inexperience worries me is all.

Then again, I have an ex husband who would have rather masturbated than have sex with me. That could be my problem too.
 

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Working 12 hour days, 7 days a week can affect the sex drive of anyone.
Your comment about your ex preferring masterbating to sex with you gives pause. Could be coincidence, could be the men you are attracted to, Or, is there something in your approach to sex that may be a factor?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
My current SO is so completely different from anyone else I've ever had a relationship with. Before him, I was attracted to losers. He is so different and better! Way more attentive, gentle, caring, and also a provider type. He treats me like a princess, he likes to make me happy. And same goes for me toward him. I've never liked anyone so much. Especially after a year....usually the honeymoon phase wears off for me by now. I just like, like, like him. I love him too of course, but liking to be around someone this way is very new to me. I feel like he was meant for me.

I may over analyze too much because I want everything to be perfect?

I'm not sure what you mean by my approach to sex.
The way I initiate or expect to be 'taken'?
Or my thoughts about how sex should be and/or is?
 

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[I may over analyze too much because I want everything to be perfect?]

Stop,because on here people will have you thinking all kinds of things are wrong so enjoy and we all know things can never always be perfect you can just make them the best as you can.

He is 23 he may just have never ran into somebody like you before,so why not bring out all the toys lay back and tell him to have at you so he get use to the toys and make it fun.

At 23,I am sure most of his friends have made jokes about sex toys so he might be self consious about that so just asure him its all in a good time and just some extra.

It sounds like he found the right woman,my wife is 13 years older then me and she brought out the toys first when we met 24 years ago and I was DING ,winner winner winner[lol].
 

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Then again, I have an ex husband who would have rather masturbated than have sex with me. That could be my problem too.
Please please please don't make your current guy pay for the mistakes your ex made.

They are TWO different men.

And to give you some psychobabble there is such a thing as a self fulfilling prophesy. The very thing you worry about and dread will be the very thing you will have to deal with. You will attract it to you with your thoughts.
 

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Monkey Spanker.
 

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I don't know but it seems to me toys for women are more obvious, as in it's not hard to conceive of a phallic shaped toy. Toys for men seem far less obvious. Yes it would make sense to fabricate something that simulates a mouth, vagina or ass but I can't conceive how you can make the artificial version feel anywhere near the real thing. A warm hand is probably as close as any plastic toy.
 

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There's no comparison between the best male sex toy on the planet and the real thing. The real thing is a whole body experience, and it much better. Toys make being alone a little better, or they can enhance things when you are together. My wife and I both have toys that we either use alone or together. We have no restrictions and we have fun.

It does sound like he make a slightly lower libido that you, which is a completely separate issue.
 

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I have a Fleshlight that I bought from the AEE Porn show in Vegas. It feels terrific, but there is no substitution for the real thing. I'd rather get a handjob from my wife than use the Fleshlight.
 

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I really don't think he would trade you for a toy, just like you wouldn't trade him for a dildo. Sex is more than just "getting off" so unless you don't have a healthly sex life, there is nothing to worry about IMO
 
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