FWIW, @Lawrence N wrote that he improved his attitude and that he and his wife were making progress and he was happy about that. He is optimistic and wrote he did NOT want to divorce his wife, was happy at progress. Maybe he will chime back in on his thread and clarify if I read him wrong. I suspect he is too busy enjoying his marriage to respond.He’s not having sec once a month. His wife is attempting to step up, if he feels that an acrobatic initiating partner is the primary source of contentment than he should make a choice and leave. How long has this been dragging on?
It was the people on TAM who are telling him he shouldn't be happy at the progress, that his wife was only stepping up because she was scared. That she is essentially lying to him. That he should just accept that a true turnaround has a miniscule chance, that they almost never happened and he either needed to accept his plight or divorce and go date, find some hookers, or whatever.
So the default TAM answer to any issue, especially sexual problems, is to just file for divorce. Because nothing else will make any real difference because most women don't like sex much with their husbands after first few years and certainly after having kids. And the old man can either live with whatever crumbs he gets or file for divorce and go back to dating.
I will admit this is a rather foreign concept, never having experienced a dead bedroom. And, thinking about it, if I had, would wonder what had changed and why.. But evidently any thought or attempt to rectify the situation is pointless. Forget counseling, reading books, or anything. Either accept the status quo or go find an attorney.