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I think a majority of men are more focused on body than face.
It is for me, no question. So why not focus on getting more toned/fit (if you aren’t already). It’s the healthier option FOR YOU and at least should increase your confidence to be more sexually forward.

Oh and jacked up hormonal levels can truly do a number on a man. Ask me how I know. Do NOT send him to an average urologist or GP doc. Mine tested my T and said I was fine. Turns out at 45 I had the T levels of a 95 yr old man. NOT FINE. I recommend Defy Medical. They’re completely online and will remotely orchestrate a full lab work up.
 

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You're debating 'confronting' him, and others have suggested straight up asking him if he's lost interest in having sex. Don't do it.

The flipside of this is, you're worried you've lost your attractiveness. Can you see that your emotions around this are going to make your 'confrontation' even worse?

It's time to do a reset/rethink here before you do some potentially unnecessary damage.

Start thinking about this in terms of your mutually shared RELATIONSHIP. You've run into a problem together. Support each other and try to understand it, and fix it - together, with empathy for him AND yourself.

You can always entertain the worst case scenarios if that goes nowhere. Not now.
 

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Anna, you need to talk to him about this. You are making assumptions that are probably completely wrong.
Plus you are only in your 40's so please don't start on that whole merry go round of plastic surgery. If you start getting it now you will need to keep getting it over and over.
 

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The problem with plastic surgery it that it looks fake on close examination.
The face is smooth, the neck and upper arms are not!

Most doctors over-stretch the facial skin so that it 'lasts longer' before sagging again.

I have no issues with it if it makes a person happy.

I wish they had surgery that prevents one from being stiff all day.

I am talking about ones back and legs, thank you!



King Brian-
 

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The problem with plastic surgery it that it looks fake on close examination.




King Brian-
I wouldn’t even say on close examination, I’d say it simply looks fake, period.

I’d take natural sag over fake any day.

Now that being said, I am all for restorative cosmetic surgery in the event of some kind of accident or following the removal of a tumor or actual deformity or disfigurement etc.

But IMHO a 40 something year old woman almost always looks better with some signs of natural aging vs the fake and unnatural look of cosmetic surgery.

Same with the men with thinning and balding hair vs hairpieces and toupees and transplants etc.
 

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One problem with getting old is that everything that was limber is stiff and everything that was stiff is limber.

Maybe he's having some "was stiff is limber" problems, i.e., ED, and is embarrassed to bring it up (probably a poor choice of words) -- I mean talk about it with you. How is communication between you two? Set a time, outside bedtime and the bedroom, to talk positively. I can recommend two podcasts: "Foreplay Radio, Couples and Sex Therapy," and "Sex with Emily" for discussions on how to approach the subject.

BTW, I don't think it's anything that will be cured with plastic surgery...at least from the hubby's point of view. Guys who love their women and see them as idealized creatures. I'm 75 and having a great and sexy relationship with a younger woman, 70 year-old-vixen.
 

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One problem with getting old is that everything that was limber is stiff and everything that was stiff is limber.

Maybe he's having some "was stiff is limber" problems, i.e., ED, and is embarrassed to bring it up (probably a poor choice of words) -- I mean talk about it with you. How is communication between you two? Set a time, outside bedtime and the bedroom, to talk positively. I can recommend two podcasts: "Foreplay Radio, Couples and Sex Therapy," and "Sex with Emily" for discussions on how to approach the subject.

BTW, I don't think it's anything that will be cured with plastic surgery...at least from the hubby's point of view. Guys who love their women and see them as idealized creatures. I'm 75 and having a great and sexy relationship with a younger woman, 70 year-old-vixen.
And THIS perspective is why older men are so attractive!!!!
 

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some people do have plastic surgery. i do not really understand them, but it is a thing.

before i even THOUGHT about it, i would try a slew of other things:
1) lingerie. it really works for many marriages...kind of immediately raises the kinky level, and gets the hubby horny
2) act sexy. do you dress hot around the house, or dumpy looking. instead of dressing up to go out, instead dress up to be at home! you can be dumpy looking when you are out shopping! short skirt, not bra, sheer top, no panties. And flirt with hubby. make him KNOW you are horny for him
3) new sex acts. maybe you both are just bored with the vanilla sex you have settled into. try something new! maybe rent 50 Shades of Gray, watch it together, and play along with the movie??? Add in sex acts you have been to embarrassed to try before!
Any sex act he wanted, but you refused in the past, tell him you now want to try it!

put some effort into the above, and it is likely the perceived "need" for plastic surgery will go away
 

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I personally think a woman's interest and attitude toward sex are far more important than just her looks. We ALL get old and are not model quality (some of us never were) but willingness to have sex and try new things and being INTO sex far exceeds any effort to look younger by way of surgery.
 
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