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Thanks all for your replies.

She doesnt have any sort of medical condition and is not on any sort or medication. When we first got married sex was great she was very adventorous. But i dont know what happened but she not interested anymore. I did ask when we did it last if we could change positions and try something knew but she ignored me and did the same old thing.
I need some fun in my life and i dont know what to do for the best
Seems your W is not sexually interested in you. I would recommend to start working on you as others have posted. Change of wardrobe. Make plans with your friends.
 
Me and wife have been married 14 years have 3 children. Its nothing to do with the kids but i wanted to know how everyone else sex life is going.

Im getting so bored with marriage in general its not just the sex. Im just wondering whats happened to everyone elses life?
Classic - she got what she wanted from you, so why should she work/put out to you any more? 14yrs the baby driving hormones have done their thing, you've supplied what you we supposed to; evolution says you're supposed to take the hint and wander off elsewhere.
 
Sadly, all too common. Do yourself a favor and make this your last marriage. Sex is good for the first year or two of a relationship, then falls off a cliff more often than not, based upon my experience and the stories I read. Also, sex is all too often weaponized bad relationships.
 
I dont know how to leave. As i dont want to just walk out on the kids. Any suggestions? I have tried talking but wife wont listen to me and just says im moaning at her
Is she the dominant one in the relationship?
What are you doing to keep her attracted? We ask this of women all the time.
You need to sit her down and lay your cards put, not dance around the issuem
 
I need some fun in my life. Its not all about sex its my life is general.
I dont know what to do for the best
Does your wife have any "control" issues? Any resentment stuff in the back of her mind that needs to be explored?

Don't overlook the possibility that, to her, getting married was a solution to a problem she had, some sort of past trauma.

And ask her about her marriage. I say "her" deliberately. Does she tell everyone she has a happy marriage? She just might. Then point out that there are two people in a marriage and one person being happy with how things are doesn't equal a happy marriage.
 
I always say this when it comes for staying for the kids. I have a friend who married a women whose parents stayed for the kids. They had a business partnership with no affection or love. It was a completely a platonic partnership. So this friend's wife has not shown him any affection in his marriage. She is from what he tells me a good working partner just like the example her parents have given, sounds like she is also willing to give him passionless sex to a reasonable degree. In his mind he is in a cold dead marriage and I would be surprised if they make it.

Staying for the kids especially when your marriage is dead isn't always helping the kids. In this case this women has no idea how to be the kind of spouse most people want because it wasn't modeled for her. Even worse a very dysfunctional version of marriage was modeled for her. I hear her parents ended up divorcing anyway but late in life so their prospects and the financial hardship is worse. At least as far as I can tell they did their kids or themselves NO favors.
 
did it change gradually or suddenly?

Thanks all for your replies.

She doesnt have any sort of medical condition and is not on any sort or medication. When we first got married sex was great she was very adventorous. But i dont know what happened but she not interested anymore. I did ask when we did it last if we could change positions and try something knew but she ignored me and did the same old thing.
I need some fun in my life and i dont know what to do for the best
 
I have told her what i want and what im interested in. But she still just pushes me away. She wont even let me touch her body she pushes me off.
JJ my man, I've said this time and time again. 1. The woman has lost romantic interest in you. 2. When they lose romantic interest, it never comes back. (maybe in one case out of ten thousand) 3. A woman who has no romantic interest in you don't give a rats azz what youre interested in, you touching her body, change positions trying something new, et cetera. You need to ask this chick some serious questions; since you're no longer happy with me and became an iceburg, why should we stay together. Or maybe, who's the other guy you're seeing.
 
You face a very common fact pattern for people who show up here. There are several things you can try. But the simple truth is that most of these problems never get better if you stay with your current spouse. Sad but true. No magic wands. No surefire solutions. Mostly a bunch of things to try for a few months, so you can be comfortable that you gave it a decent try before you called it quits.

1. Have the talk. Once. The message of the talk is NOT: "we need to have more sex". The core message is "without more sex, my love for you is steadily declining. I want it to switch to an upward trajectory. If there is anything I can do to help you preserve my love for you, let me know." No specific threats or ultimatums. Just informing her that your love for her is going down, and you would prefer to love her more and more over time, rather than less and less. But less and less is inevitable unless and until you guys have more sex. Once you have said that, never have the talk again. If she offers to talk more, "thanks honey, but we are way past the point where talking will resolve anything."
2. Rock yourself. Hit the gym. Buckle down at work. Pay some attention to clothes and grooming if you have let those slide. If she asks you why, say "I want to be the best version of me I can be." Nothing about her. Nothing about the marriage. Nothing about sex. I want to be my best - for me.
3. Start having activities with guys. Get a happy hour buddy or spend time focusing on a hobby. If she comments that you aren't home as much, or aren't helping more with the kids or the chores, just smile and pat her on the head and joke how cute she is when she gets upset. She will get enraged. This is a test of whether she still has you twisted around her finger. Don't take the bait. Just keep smiling and whistle or hum a happy tune. Show her that she has zero ability to impact your mood.
4. Only accept sex if she is into it. If she offers, but it is clear she is just going to lie there silent and unmoving, then stop the session and walk away. Tell her "thanks babe, but this doesn't do anything for me. Sex is supposed to be a team sport. Let me know when you actually want to play."

It is entirely possible that you will do all these things, and she will pull away. It is possible it won't have any impact on her because the only thing she wants from you is your paycheck, so as long as you deposit that into the joint account every payday, she doesn't give a rat's patootie what you do. Or it is possible that she will file for divorce because she only wants to stay married to you if you are her servant, handyman and to chauffeur the kids at night.

All of these outcomes are as or more likely to occur than she suddenly realizes how much she wants to have sex with you. But the "trick" is, if you hit the gym, rock it at work, improve your wardrobe and grooming, and spend more time with the guys, you will be in a much better place to deal with divorce and post-divorce life. So you are investing in your own future. If she wants to come along for the ride, she knows what the cost of admission is. If she doesn't want to pay it, too bad for her. And you are best of finding that out sooner rather than later.
 
Give my book a try. I have helped out thousands of men in your position. It's not guaranteed, but as far as I'm concerned it's the only true way to stay in your relationship and possibly reignite your sex life. At the worst, it will open your eyes to many dynamics within your relationship you weren't aware of, and you'll be that much more prepared for the next woman in your life.

Click here: The Dead Bedroom Fix
 
as i know she will turn them against me even maybe stop me seeing them. Whicch im afraid of
That sentence speaks volumes about the character of the woman you married. From my standpoint, if I even had a remote thought that my SO would ever do that, there would be no chance I would have married her. Only a VERY selfish person (one that puts herself over her own kids) would turn their kids against their own parent. Terrible to say the least.
 
"as i know she will turn them against me even maybe stop me seeing them. Whicch im afraid of"

If that's the kind of woman I had, I couldn't stand to touch her.
 
If my wife told me that I was "whining" for requesting sex and would not allow me to even touch her, the first thing that jumps to my mind is that she could be getting sex from another and did not want to cheat on her boy friend.
 
Me and wife have been married 14 years have 3 children. Its nothing to do with the kids but i wanted to know how everyone else sex life is going.

When we do have sex which is very rare. Only about once every 3 months and thats if im lucky. Wife never initiates it so its all down to me.
My wife only likes one position her on top and when she finished she gets off doesnt matter if i finish or not and if i cum before her she goes beserk so i got to wait for her first. (Seems more like a chore than enjoyable).

She doesnt do oral or anything. Says she doesnt like it. Wont even let me lick her or let me play with her so i just gotta lie there. It hasnt always been like this When we first got married sex was great she used to let me tie her up and loved 69 and was very adventourous. When i ask her whats change she tells me there nothing wrong.

Im getting so bored with marriage in general its not just the sex. Im just wondering whats happened to everyone elses life?
This sucks but it is very common. You'll have to decide just what kind of man you want to be. Are you the man who is completely controlled by his desire for sex and will do anything (like abandoning kids) to get it? Or will you plug into a new and completely different life source that will give you a whole new perspective and purpose in life?

You can run yourself ragged trying to figure out your wife's situation. You can't negotiate desire. Even if she turned on a dime tomorrow, it could just be for a season, there can still be dry seasons ahead. You have absolutely no control of the situation. You know what happens when people worry about things they cannot control? They go crazy!

The new life source my friend is Jesus. Living for Him will make you a better husband, better father, incredibly more attractive, more joyful, more peaceful, and overall just more successful in life.

So decide now - keep chasing something you will never catch (with her or anyone else) - or bring your family to our father in heaven and save the day! Call on His name and He will answer.

P.S. choose the latter and watch your sex life improve, maybe not in the way you envisioned it, but in a way that satisfies the very need you were trying to squash.
 
"I dont know how to leave. As i dont want to just walk out on the kids. Any suggestions? I have tried talking but wife wont listen to me and just says im moaning at her "

Leaving is not really a viable solution all round be cause you will still not get any more sex than you are getting now unless you just use Tinder and such foolishness. You will end up meeting someone who has split up with her SO for same reason and then you will have great sex for one year then start the decline. You need to try to solve the actual problem, which you currently do not know because the matter has not been discussed.

My understanding is that there are literally millions of people on earth who are starved of sex while in long term relationships. If they all left, who is there to provide them with sex. We all need to work together to provide a viable solution to this crisis. It impacts all of us as tempers rise at home, at work, in the streets and elsewhere. Any of us can be a victim of enents that happen privately in someone's bedroom. It is in our interest to sort these issues as a matter of urgency.
Imagine
1 how many women/men are not getting enough sex
2 How many men can't get it up
3 How many women never orgasm
4 How many People want oral/anal or other but their partner is not interested
5 How many women women with their partners could last more than a minute
6 Other serious sexual issues some of which we see here.
Imagine all the frustration spilling out of the homes onto the public arena and manifesting as violence and intolerance or silence or poor participation or indifference to life or depression or sadness or lack of confidence or revenge.
No we need to all take an attitude of helping to sort the issues out somehow. We also all pay for the cost of treating prostate cancer caused by our men not ejaculating enough in their lives, and who knows what diseases result from our women not having enough sex? I don't know where our sociologists are but they are neglecting this one aspect of life.

Insist on going for counselling just so you both can listen to each other's points of views. When you have heard hers, then discuss solutions which include her point of view on the matter.
 
"I dont know how to leave. As i dont want to just walk out on the kids. Any suggestions? I have tried talking but wife wont listen to me and just says im moaning at her "

Leaving is not really a viable solution all round be cause you will still not get any more sex than you are getting now unless you just use Tinder and such foolishness. You will end up meeting someone who has split up with her SO for same reason and then you will have great sex for one year then start the decline. You need to try to solve the actual problem, which you currently do not know because the matter has not been discussed.

My understanding is that there are literally millions of people on earth who are starved of sex while in long term relationships. If they all left, who is there to provide them with sex. We all need to work together to provide a viable solution to this crisis. It impacts all of us as tempers rise at home, at work, in the streets and elsewhere. Any of us can be a victim of enents that happen privately in someone's bedroom. It is in our interest to sort these issues as a matter of urgency.
Imagine
1 how many women/men are not getting enough sex
2 How many men can't get it up
3 How many women never orgasm
4 How many People want oral/anal or other but their partner is not interested
5 How many women women with their partners could last more than a minute
6 Other serious sexual issues some of which we see here.
Imagine all the frustration spilling out of the homes onto the public arena and manifesting as violence and intolerance or silence or poor participation or indifference to life or depression or sadness or lack of confidence or revenge.
No we need to all take an attitude of helping to sort the issues out somehow. We also all pay for the cost of treating prostate cancer caused by our men not ejaculating enough in their lives, and who knows what diseases result from our women not having enough sex? I don't know where our sociologists are but they are neglecting this one aspect of life.

Insist on going for counselling just so you both can listen to each other's points of views. When you have heard hers, then discuss solutions which include her point of view on the matter.
I think this is complete utter nonsense.

Leaving a marriage in which your partner isn't sexually interested in you and won't have sex with you is a wonderful, viable, beautiful, and successful option. Being single can be healthier than being in a relationship in which you are sexually and/or emotionally rejected day after day.

There are millions of men and women who leave sexless marriages and go on to find happy, healthy, mutually satisfying relationships with lots and lots of wonderful sex.

You can't make someone want you sexually. You can try to fix relationship issues to try to fix sexual issues, but it takes two to do that, and it's not always, and not often, possible. Some people just aren't going to have a good relationship together. When that happens, ending the unhappy relationship ends the suffering and opens up the world of possibilities of finding a great partner in the future.
 
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