Married for 18 years with 3 kids, ages are 17, 13 and 8. I've posted on these forums about 2 to 3 years ago about the same issue although supposely there were different factors that caused the lack of being in the mood on my wifes part.
Sex has always been an issue for us throughout the years. Either a frequency issue, lack of being in the moment, lack of experimenting or initiating...
Never had the feeling that my wife has found me sexually attractive or had a desire for me sexually. At times during heated arguements about this topic she would flat out tell me that I never did anything for her sexually. That she never orgasmed through intercourse with me...
For the first 15 years I would always initiate sex with her, but at least we had weekends were both of us would have a few drinks at home and end up doing it once every 3 to 4 weeks or so. There were so many agruements back then about her being so standoffish about sex and I would go to sleep feeling so empty and lonely on the other weekends. She would be so unattached, cold and didn't offer any feeling back towards me to comfort me. Through these years my wife both my wife and I worked. I worked days and she would work at night. She hated the fact that she missed being home with the kids at night. She really is an awesome mother to my kids, which I will get to later... Earlier in the relationship I did "promise" her that we would be financially secure were she could quit her job, but things didn't pan out. Not that I didn't work hard enough or was lazy, but **** happened, home expenses, cars, additional children...Now back to the sex talk, through this period my wife really liked to have her nipples played with and pulled. It turned me on like there was no tomorrow! She when then masterbate while I played with her chest until she would cum and we would finish it off with us having sex, basically so I could finish and we would be done. I knew I wasn't making her beg for more and that she was getting anything from it. At first it bothered me, but I understood that many women don't achieve orgasm through intercourse. I just always was looking for more sex and any effection because to this day my wife is still the best looking girl out in the world today. Maybe once every few years I would attempt to go down on my wife, but she said she didn't like the way it felt. To me that was a concern because I felt if she was turned on enough she would like the way it would feel. I communicated the best I could to ask what I could do different to please her, but I always got I just don't like it... Overall since we both worked different shifts we just didn't spend much quality time together or we probable would of argued even more... I don't want to make light of this, but there was an interaction that she had with a guy in work that she claimed was just friendly 8 years ago but I will fast forward to 3 years ago...
Over 2 years ago my wife was at her last leg of working. We had a huge agruement about sex, her job and missing being a mother to her kids. She did tell me that she wasn't sexually attracted to me, so unhappy with her life and it looked like we were heading for a divorce. She told me that she never enjoyed me touching her and was just doing for the sake of keeping piece. She came back to me the next day apoligized about the comments of not being sexually attracted to me and at that point in our lifes i said If your job is effecting you so much then quit! Funny thing was that I just lost my 17 year job a year prior to this! Part of me had faith that it would all work out for us and part of me wanted to show my wife that I loved her so much that I would be willing to do anything to make her happy by quitting.
Now for the last 2 years I see my wife more then ever. I will go on record and say she looks better today then any of the years I've known her. She lost the few pounds that she put due to kids and weighs 5 pounds more then when I met her 112 lbs! So now I'm turned on by her more then ever and we still get into constant arguements about sex, but here is the kicker.
Masterbating in front of me? NO! I've been told that is for me and can't I have anything for myself?
Foreplay with her nipples? NO! Don't like the way it feels, don't touch them!
Making out? Not know I'm busy with it NEVER happens. Did I mention to you that years ago she told me we just weren't compatable for kissing???
Going down on her? NO! Told you I never liked it...
Sex position? Only doggy style because all other positions either hurt or we don't feel anything. Forgot to mention kid number 2 was over 10lbs. Ok i'm 5.5" so Im not stacking at the least! lol
I do get blowjobs from her, but I always feel like its there to shut me up...
Now we agrue about frequency and the lack of doing anything besides what she likes, which is only doggy style. as you could imagine the arguements have been getting heated and heated. We argue and I will get doggy style sex or a blowjob for once a week for a couple weeks and then it winds down. To make matters worst my wife who use to drink with me occassionaly has stopped drinking almost entirely, she doesn't like the way she feels the day after drinking... of course nobody does, but this leads to further argueing because she is so prudish...
Over the last 6 months I've thrown in the towel and said I would like a divorce. I even explained that I didn't care how much I would have to pay her a month for alimomy and child support, I just want out! I hurt to much! Last week I told her that this just isn't working out and that I'm miserable. I'm at the point now were I find it hard to initiate anything because I'm so resentful.
Trust me there is so much more, but I feel emotionally drained just writting this. By the way she does everything else for me and is an awesome mother to my kids. Day after day I'm so sexually frustrated it has absolutley ruined the person I am today and has made me very bitter...
Sex has always been an issue for us throughout the years. Either a frequency issue, lack of being in the moment, lack of experimenting or initiating...
Never had the feeling that my wife has found me sexually attractive or had a desire for me sexually. At times during heated arguements about this topic she would flat out tell me that I never did anything for her sexually. That she never orgasmed through intercourse with me...
For the first 15 years I would always initiate sex with her, but at least we had weekends were both of us would have a few drinks at home and end up doing it once every 3 to 4 weeks or so. There were so many agruements back then about her being so standoffish about sex and I would go to sleep feeling so empty and lonely on the other weekends. She would be so unattached, cold and didn't offer any feeling back towards me to comfort me. Through these years my wife both my wife and I worked. I worked days and she would work at night. She hated the fact that she missed being home with the kids at night. She really is an awesome mother to my kids, which I will get to later... Earlier in the relationship I did "promise" her that we would be financially secure were she could quit her job, but things didn't pan out. Not that I didn't work hard enough or was lazy, but **** happened, home expenses, cars, additional children...Now back to the sex talk, through this period my wife really liked to have her nipples played with and pulled. It turned me on like there was no tomorrow! She when then masterbate while I played with her chest until she would cum and we would finish it off with us having sex, basically so I could finish and we would be done. I knew I wasn't making her beg for more and that she was getting anything from it. At first it bothered me, but I understood that many women don't achieve orgasm through intercourse. I just always was looking for more sex and any effection because to this day my wife is still the best looking girl out in the world today. Maybe once every few years I would attempt to go down on my wife, but she said she didn't like the way it felt. To me that was a concern because I felt if she was turned on enough she would like the way it would feel. I communicated the best I could to ask what I could do different to please her, but I always got I just don't like it... Overall since we both worked different shifts we just didn't spend much quality time together or we probable would of argued even more... I don't want to make light of this, but there was an interaction that she had with a guy in work that she claimed was just friendly 8 years ago but I will fast forward to 3 years ago...
Over 2 years ago my wife was at her last leg of working. We had a huge agruement about sex, her job and missing being a mother to her kids. She did tell me that she wasn't sexually attracted to me, so unhappy with her life and it looked like we were heading for a divorce. She told me that she never enjoyed me touching her and was just doing for the sake of keeping piece. She came back to me the next day apoligized about the comments of not being sexually attracted to me and at that point in our lifes i said If your job is effecting you so much then quit! Funny thing was that I just lost my 17 year job a year prior to this! Part of me had faith that it would all work out for us and part of me wanted to show my wife that I loved her so much that I would be willing to do anything to make her happy by quitting.
Now for the last 2 years I see my wife more then ever. I will go on record and say she looks better today then any of the years I've known her. She lost the few pounds that she put due to kids and weighs 5 pounds more then when I met her 112 lbs! So now I'm turned on by her more then ever and we still get into constant arguements about sex, but here is the kicker.
Masterbating in front of me? NO! I've been told that is for me and can't I have anything for myself?
Foreplay with her nipples? NO! Don't like the way it feels, don't touch them!
Making out? Not know I'm busy with it NEVER happens. Did I mention to you that years ago she told me we just weren't compatable for kissing???
Going down on her? NO! Told you I never liked it...
Sex position? Only doggy style because all other positions either hurt or we don't feel anything. Forgot to mention kid number 2 was over 10lbs. Ok i'm 5.5" so Im not stacking at the least! lol
I do get blowjobs from her, but I always feel like its there to shut me up...
Now we agrue about frequency and the lack of doing anything besides what she likes, which is only doggy style. as you could imagine the arguements have been getting heated and heated. We argue and I will get doggy style sex or a blowjob for once a week for a couple weeks and then it winds down. To make matters worst my wife who use to drink with me occassionaly has stopped drinking almost entirely, she doesn't like the way she feels the day after drinking... of course nobody does, but this leads to further argueing because she is so prudish...
Over the last 6 months I've thrown in the towel and said I would like a divorce. I even explained that I didn't care how much I would have to pay her a month for alimomy and child support, I just want out! I hurt to much! Last week I told her that this just isn't working out and that I'm miserable. I'm at the point now were I find it hard to initiate anything because I'm so resentful.
Trust me there is so much more, but I feel emotionally drained just writting this. By the way she does everything else for me and is an awesome mother to my kids. Day after day I'm so sexually frustrated it has absolutley ruined the person I am today and has made me very bitter...