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The interpretations on cheating seem to vary as well. When Solomon and most other dudes had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines (each), it doesn’t seem like anyone minded very much. They didn’t have TAM back then to unleash the full wrath onto the unfaithful!
Are there any cultures/religions where it was women that had similar numbers of men instead?


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Nope. There were some circumstances where prominent women had a polyandrous situation but not to the crazy extent, and it was true madness, that prominent men had so many women.
 

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sigh.....



People cannot seem to grasp that just because something was IN the Bible didn't mean God approved of it. Yes, Solomon had lots of wives and concubines. No, God didn't strike him with immediate lightning..


Why didn’t He? Or at least issue a moderator warning in red ink once in a while.
I don’t mean to mock...It’s Friday night after all. Trying to ease into the weekend....
To me (the idiot who can’t make himself get to believe in stuff that potentially could make my life much more comforting) it conveys many deeper truths about human nature. In this instance, that the ideal was to have one man and one woman, never rejecting each other and viewing each other as one....but in practice things are always more complicated...


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Why didn’t He? Or at least issue a moderator warning in red ink once in a while.
I don’t mean to mock...It’s Friday night after all. Trying to ease into the weekend....
To me (the idiot who can’t make himself get to believe in stuff that potentially could make my life much more comforting) it conveys many deeper truths about human nature. In this instance, that the ideal was to have one man and one woman, never rejecting each other and viewing each other as one....but in practice things are always more complicated...


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It's interesting....we always want God to smite other people for THEIR sins, but never us for ours lol

I am happy I have been spared lightning on more than one occasion. Especially in rush hour traffic.......
 

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I don't think anyone here, is suggesting that he cheats on his wife. Of which, I don't think he should cheat on his wife either.

At the end of the day though, if he isn't happy with 3x a week, isn't willing to settle for less, and his wife isn't willing to share more. He's left with having sex with others (since marital rape is not okay), as the only way to get more sex. Which means either divorce, swinging, polyamory, consensual non-monogamy and the like or sexual infidelity (cheating).

Stating thie above isn't encouraging him to cheat, it is simply stating the facts as they stand.
I don't believe the OP explicitly stated this. I'm guessing the OP is in his early 30s, and he's just feeling the flush of hormones that is driving his desire for more frequent sex. I read in one of his posts he states he doesn't use porn. I think if he truly had a circuit breaker where 3 times/week was unacceptable - he'd self serve to augment what he already has thru porn wanking. To me, it sounds like he wants more sex with his wife - not just more sex. I doubt this is a deal breaker for him.
 

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It looks like the OP left the thread - so this will be a late response.

I don't post much on the forums anymore, but I've been a member for about 7 years? Most of the people posting in SIM probably don't recognize me, but I've started a few threads similar to what the OP has started - especially around 2012 - 2014. LOL, I remember having people responding in similar ways to me when I was chagrined over having sex "just every other day" and not at the higher frequencies I wanted. I too reacted to those telling me to GTFOH because SIM is not meant for a guy like me but for people with "real problems" by saying IDGAF about their criticisms that I shouldn't be here and that wanting to improve on what I already have is a valid reason to be on SIM. I wasn't an ass to my wife about it but we're all human and she knew that I wanted more frequency. She wanted less, and every other day (except during menstruation week) already was our compromise. LOL, so many memories on this thread!

To @Frozen001: Relax, because you're ultimately wasting your time. Should you try for more? Sure, but only opportunistically. What I mean by that is when the two of you are having a nice moment and it looks like it could be in the cards - go for it. Otherwise, don't waste your time on "the talk". All that does is make the 2 of you unhappy, because it seems clear in your early posts that she's giving all she can based on your current dynamic. If you want more, YOU need to be the one to change and not her. And even if you make changes to try to get a little more frequency it's far from a guarantee that it works. Also, if you change for the better, up your seduction game and you're still around 3X/wk...DO NOT GET RESENTFUL. Just have fun with it and love her. That's all that matters in the end. In fact, recently I proposed to my wife that we back off of some of the frequency that we were doing to just 3 days per week, with only 2 days during her period week on the first and last day of the week. She's been happy with the adjustment and quality of encounters has actually went up! She appreciates having a little more time to "recharge". Plus we have a ton of things going on in our lives now anyways so it's good for us.

I'm content wrt frequency and her enthusiasm levels, and people who may remember me from awhile ago will be surprised to read that...LOL. I think you and your wife can easily come to a compromise that will make the both of you happy. But that happiness won't be realized until your wife feels safe with you as her partner to the point she can open up and let you in completely. JMHO.
 

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Too much of ANY good thing after a while loses it's luster.

I kind of get the impression that the OP's wife is running at full steam because she wants to please HIM, not because she's got a high libido and actually wants all this sex. And here he is pushing her to increase it. Pfffft.

He'll be lucky if she doesn't start backing off after a while because I think that's exactly what she's going to do.

His wife reminds me of the people my sister told me about when she ran a gym. At the beginning of every year, all these new people sign up for gym memberships because their New Year's resolution is to get in shape. So she'd see a bunch of new faces every single January.

My March, they were all gone and only the hardcore regulars were still coming on schedule. LOL.

I'm thinking just like those New Year's gym members, the wife is giving it her best, but he's pushing on the gas pedal trying to get even more out of her. And, just like the newbies at the gym, I don't think she'll keep this pace up indefinitely. Nope, I don't.
 

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It looks like the OP left the thread - so this will be a late response.

I don't post much on the forums anymore, but I've been a member for about 7 years? Most of the people posting in SIM probably don't recognize me, but I've started a few threads similar to what the OP has started - especially around 2012 - 2014. LOL, I remember having people responding in similar ways to me when I was chagrined over having sex "just every other day" and not at the higher frequencies I wanted. I too reacted to those telling me to GTFOH because SIM is not meant for a guy like me but for people with "real problems" by saying IDGAF about their criticisms that I shouldn't be here and that wanting to improve on what I already have is a valid reason to be on SIM. I wasn't an ass to my wife about it but we're all human and she knew that I wanted more frequency. She wanted less, and every other day (except during menstruation week) already was our compromise. LOL, so many memories on this thread!

To @Frozen001: Relax, because you're ultimately wasting your time. Should you try for more? Sure, but only opportunistically. What I mean by that is when the two of you are having a nice moment and it looks like it could be in the cards - go for it. Otherwise, don't waste your time on "the talk". All that does is make the 2 of you unhappy, because it seems clear in your early posts that she's giving all she can based on your current dynamic. If you want more, YOU need to be the one to change and not her. And even if you make changes to try to get a little more frequency it's far from a guarantee that it works. Also, if you change for the better, up your seduction game and you're still around 3X/wk...DO NOT GET RESENTFUL. Just have fun with it and love her. That's all that matters in the end. In fact, recently I proposed to my wife that we back off of some of the frequency that we were doing to just 3 days per week, with only 2 days during her period week on the first and last day of the week. She's been happy with the adjustment and quality of encounters has actually went up! She appreciates having a little more time to "recharge". Plus we have a ton of things going on in our lives now anyways so it's good for us.

I'm content wrt frequency and her enthusiasm levels, and people who may remember me from awhile ago will be surprised to read that...LOL. I think you and your wife can easily come to a compromise that will make the both of you happy. But that happiness won't be realized until your wife feels safe with you as her partner to the point she can open up and let you in completely. JMHO.
Good advice and good to see you posting again!
 

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So been married going in 10 years and me and my wife are finally getting back to a better sex life. My wife she seems like a low drive woman but we have gotten to the point where we have sex at least 3 times a week unless here monthly visitor is here then I to nothing. I still have to initiate or ask but it happens. We have talked a lot about how I would like it every day but she often falls back in she is afraid to get an infection if we do have it everyday... I think this falls back to back when we got married that week leading up to our honeymoon we had sex every day and bam right before we left she got a yeast infection... I cannot remember when we last had one maybe once or twice since then be it is not like a regular thing. I have told her maybe if we slowly increase the frequency her body will adjust but then she just gets annoyed and starts to shutdown so I back off.

When we have sex it is great and we both enjoy it but I still want to have it more frequently... but after at least 6 months of trying I feel like I have gotten nowhere.

Any thoughts?

I can get live with it like it is but hey what is wrong with wanting to make it even better?

For those out there having sex every day did you work up to it or was it something that has always been that way?


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Don't really want to hear it. Three times a week sounds awesome to me.
 

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She always enjoys it and when we talk about having it more she has state she is working on it.

I was just posting here to gain some insight from people who do lean in the more frequent side of having sex as to how they got there.
I have not read this entire thread, but just wanted to toss in the following comment...

Everyone has a certain ideal frequency of what is enjoyable. For some that may be three times a day and for others that may be three times a month. Certain factors can also make this desired frequency change such as stress (some people want more when stress while others may want less).

A point I want to convey is that it is equally as problematic to push someone beyond their desired frequency as it is to hold someone back. If your partner pushes you to enjoy more than what is naturally desirable it can actually destroy your libido. This is because the person with the lower frequency then NEVER gets to enjoy anticipation which is where a significant portion of sexual pleasure is derived.

I have read cases where is actually occurs in BDSM communities for a sub to be forced to orgasm prior to achieving any desire or pleasure. The result is that the sub's sexually is robbed of any and all pleasure during this process.

In my opinion it is important for your wife to be given enough space to still enjoy the "anticipation" of being together with you in the marriage. This may involve lowering the frequency of intimacy in your marriage if you like the idea of her getting to enjoy more pleasure.

Something to think about...

Regards,
Badsanta
 

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don't force your wife to frequent sex. If you feel good together, then so be it. And attempts to make sex more frequent will lead to rejection. It's not worth it, if you love her. 3 times a week is more than excellent
 

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Discussion Starter #157
I have been really hesitant to reply here but I think I will.

First, I am shocked on how negative some people are and some of the heavy handed reply acting like I am being in reasonable really have put me off, and is probably why I hesitate to even reply.

First, I would NEVER cheat, to me that is just a **** move. Our sex life has improved over let last 6 months and I honestly was looking to hear from high frequency couples as to how they got there.

At the 3x a week I am good with it if it stays there but like I said I would prefer more often... sure if we got to everyday that would be great but to I honestly think we would get there... no and if we did it would probably be a random occurrence not the norm.

I have been upping my attentiveness and she has definitely responded nicely... just going to have to see what happens.




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I have been really hesitant to reply here but I think I will.

First, I am shocked on how negative some people are and some of the heavy handed reply acting like I am being in reasonable really have put me off, and is probably why I hesitate to even reply.

First, I would NEVER cheat, to me that is just a **** move. Our sex life has improved over let last 6 months and I honestly was looking to hear from high frequency couples as to how they got there.

At the 3x a week I am good with it if it stays there but like I said I would prefer more often... sure if we got to everyday that would be great but to I honestly think we would get there... no and if we did it would probably be a random occurrence not the norm.

I have been upping my attentiveness and she has definitely responded nicely... just going to have to see what happens.




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Sorry about the responses.

I tried to answer your query as did a couple of others.

Eat the meat and spit out the bone.
 
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