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Discussion Starter · #61 ·
The younger your children are when ending the marriage, the easier it is for them to adapt. Also the less time they have to deal with the trauma and dysfunction of living with an addict. You will be an example of strength to them.


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My kid asks about their dad every day and is missing him so much. My heart breaks every single time.
There’s no living with an addict. A person addicted to TWO things? Impossible to the power of ten.
I don’t know why my mind has this huge “what if…” and “guilt” “shame” and “fear” feeling for thinking of leaving. I don’t understand my own feelings of love. My therapist has been a blessing to me.
 

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I had a friend once who was extremely pushy for help once when I was unwell, she was always offering to babysit. It became a horror movie when I realised she was asking for the child pretty much every day... to entertain her son. We barely climbed out of that one, I felt so indebted and she made a point of holding that help over me but because it was my child, I snapped and let her know it was going to stop.

But your situation is so much worse. I am so sorry. My story pales in comparison; but take from it that there are kids involved now and they will be hurt if you become homeless and if you take him back - let that bring out the mama lion in you and shock her! Gambling and alcoholism and a mother-in-law telling you to sign over the house?? NO WAY!!

Yes she wants him to stay with you so that he doesn’t become her problem and financially ruin her! She’s in panic mode so use that to your advantage and don’t cave in. It’s not really her son or you that she cares about, or your kids - she’s protecting her own interests here. I doubt for one minute she’ll use any legal means or whatever to make you comply - I see the movements and fluff of a coward. People who make threats and ultimatums rarely act on them.

Trust me on this one hold your ground, she cannot touch your assets and I can guarantee she won’t be putting dollars forward to support her son if there’s a divorce. She won’t, she knows he’s a liability and simply wants him to stay with you.

You have a smart head on your shoulders so keep the emotions and love at the door for now. Later, yes he may change and yes it’s ok to love him. But he has to change by himself not because you made him.
 
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