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If she comes back to the negotiating table, do not offer a higher amount for the house. Make every future offer less than the one before.
I think this is a good approach. Rather than her antics getting her more and wearing you down, you turn the tables on her. As you said, you've been there to pick her up every time before, but now you won't be doing that. You are in self-preservation mode now. She likely expects you to cave and take care of her again. She's in for a rude awakening.
 

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Absolutely agree.
Just learned how "fair" my STBX wants to be, when I made an offer to buy her out of the house. I offered to pay her $200K plus take over the mortgage and pay her $1000/month for 3 years. She turned it down flat then suggested that I should just walk away and leave the house to her.
So after 41 years of paying the bills, I get/ deserve nothing. That made me decide to sell the house and split our assets according to the law. If she won't agree then I can try arbitration. In Canada that's another option where a Family Law Professional is hired to act as a binding arbitrator. At least this way we stay out of court avoiding the cost and long delay.
How much is the house worth? Mortgage?
 

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Absolutely agree.
Just learned how "fair" my STBX wants to be, when I made an offer to buy her out of the house. I offered to pay her $200K plus take over the mortgage and pay her $1000/month for 3 years. She turned it down flat then suggested that I should just walk away and leave the house to her.
So after 41 years of paying the bills, I get/ deserve nothing. That made me decide to sell the house and split our assets according to the law. If she won't agree then I can try arbitration. In Canada that's another option where a Family Law Professional is hired to act as a binding arbitrator. At least this way we stay out of court avoiding the cost and long delay.
No offence but, she sounds like a real prize. The only thing you're losing here is assets. Getting clear of her will be anything but a loss. Too bad you're not 20 years younger.
 

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I hope he holds onto it and his ex gets as little as possible. As said, truly a horrid woman snd OP will hopefully be blessed with a good woman to spend many more years with who shows him what it actually feels like to be loved. A week with that person will be worth more than years with the beast who has been lurking in his home.
 

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Discussion Starter · #269 ·
@rcguy, how are things going?
Things are quiet now as far as the separation. Focusing on the wedding this weekend has taken all of our attention. Thinking that soon after, the negotiations for a separation agreement will ramp up quickly. My wife has been quietly sending information to her lawyer for weeks. So have I.
 

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Things are quiet now as far as the separation. Focusing on the wedding this weekend has taken all of our attention. Thinking that soon after, the negotiations for a separation agreement will ramp up quickly. My wife has been quietly sending information to her lawyer for weeks. So have I.
Enjoy the wedding, don't let your STBXW ruin it for you in any way.

I hope you've stopped cooking for her by now....
 

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Discussion Starter · #273 ·
I hope he holds onto it and his ex gets as little as possible. As said, truly a horrid woman snd OP will hopefully be blessed with a good woman to spend many more years with who shows him what it actually feels like to be loved. A week with that person will be worth more than years with the beast who has been lurking in his home.
Thanks for the kind words Evinrude. As for another "good woman", sorry to say but I don't trust any women at all. Not interested in any relationships.
 

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Thanks for the kind words Evinrude. As for another "good woman", sorry to say but I don't trust any women at all. Not interested in any relationships.
Please don't colour all women the same just because of one. I have been very badly hurt by various men in my life but I understand that there are good men about just as there are good women. Hense I am 17 years into my second marriage.
 

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I think your wife is slowly realizing that the saying "becareful what you wish for" is going to impact her future. I have a funny feeling that your future ex wife will find herself in a whole world of hurt once you are gone. and frankly i for one think that is a good thing. you see without cooking and watching her spending you will be cleaned out in no time and she will be beggin you to help....and when you don't do that she will tell your kids how ruthless you are....that is her nature
 

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Absolutely agree.
Just learned how "fair" my STBX wants to be, when I made an offer to buy her out of the house. I offered to pay her $200K plus take over the mortgage and pay her $1000/month for 3 years. She turned it down flat then suggested that I should just walk away and leave the house to her.
So after 41 years of paying the bills, I get/ deserve nothing. That made me decide to sell the house and split our assets according to the law. If she won't agree then I can try arbitration. In Canada that's another option where a Family Law Professional is hired to act as a binding arbitrator. At least this way we stay out of court avoiding the cost and long delay.
Uh, WRONG. You don't leave the house to her. Half of the equity in it is yours and a lawyer will tell you that, and no judge will award her the house while stealing your half of the equity.

You could negotiate that you could leave her the house, but then she will no longer be entitled to the amount of your 1/2 of equity in any retirement account.

Either way, you get your 1/2 one way or the other. If my X told me to just leave her the house, I'd have told her to go F herself. She wanted me to leave the house, so my attorney told them, "ok, but she will owe him half the equity in it", and since she couldn't afford to pay me, the house went to me, and I paid her half the equity by agreeing to take the marital debt(which wasn't much, and we had only been in the house a short number of years) which was roughly equal to the total equity.

Also, pay her $1000/month for 3 years? LOL, she turned it down. She has a job, it's likely she won't get any alimony. She just screwed herself.

So here is what you do, just have your attorney draft 2 proposals as far as the house goes. 1) she leaves and you pay her half the equity and take over payments with NO alimony. If you can't pay outright, have it negotiated out of any retirement accounts and/or taking on any marital debt.

And 2) YOU leave the house and she has to now pay you half the equity. Do not under any circumstances agree to pay alimony. Have your attorney fight that tooth and nail. She works and she is the one that wants the divorce.
 

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Thanks for the kind words Evinrude. As for another "good woman", sorry to say but I don't trust any women at all. Not interested in any relationships.
You say that now, because your heart has been broken. It’s a normal way to feel. But I would ask you to keep an open mind after you do get over the pain. Don’t let your wife destroy the opportunity for you to meet a good woman who will show you what love actually looks like.
Yes, I opened myself up to another woman after I divorced after 18 yrs together and got my heart broken…… again. It happens. Gotta take the bad with the good. I am not letting those women ruin my chance at a good one.
 

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You say that now, because your heart has been broken. It’s a normal way to feel. But I would ask you to keep an open mind after you do get over the pain. Don’t let your wife destroy the opportunity for you to meet a good woman who will show you what love actually looks like.
Yes, I opened myself up to another woman after I divorced after 18 yrs together and got my heart broken…… again. It happens. Gotta take the bad with the good. I am not letting those women ruin my chance at a good one.
I can understand that in his 60's he doesn't want to go through all the dating stuff again. I am in my 60s and if I were to be single again I wouldn't either. I would be happy to remain single. Not because I dont trust men but just because I wouldnt be interested.
 

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Love makes people do stupid things, sorry to say. Was willing to turn a blind eye to her money moron behavior.
But now that has to change.
We all have a choice. You chose poorly now you get to pay for your choices.
Divorce is a business transaction. No room for emotions unless you want to end up on the short end of the stick.
 
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