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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Anyone else have any Second Life experiences? Please share.

My W has been involved with SL over 3 years, and it seems to have consumed her. Her world revolves around her SL experience. She has no time for family events (GC Bdays, etc).

I always considered it a harmless diversion, but after reading some personal accounts on OLGA (Online Gamers Anonymous) I see that some consider this an addiction:

Second Life

W is involved in an EA/PA w/ OM - but her A is not what I want to focus on here. If you read my thread in "Coping with Infidelity", I am definitely not an "innocent", and I don't in any way want to appear that I'm shifting the blame for my despicable behavior onto my W.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/61647-we-both-cheated-now-what-ltm.html

If EA/PA's have resulted from your or a family member's involvement w/ Second Life, and you want to mention it, feel free to do so, but I'd like to keep the discussion more aimed at the addiction/dependence aspect of these online "games".
 

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I don't have any real life experience with this, but I have heard that these types of role playing games can be very addictive. Personally, I would be wary if my H wanted to get involved in something like SL or WOW. Not because I think the game itself is harmful, just that I understand it can be addictive and would not be very happy at him absorbing himself in something that was so distracting from his real life. I am sure he would feel the same way if I were the one expressing interest in these games. But I know there are plenty of people out there who can play and not get in the way of a normal functional life. Its just personally not something I would want to introduce in my marriage. My husband and I are very careful about the amount of time we spend sucked into electronic devices as it is, we try to make sure we get to spend a good bit of quality time together (and with our lids) without distractions like TV, computers and phones. I know that is probably very a-typical but it works for us.
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Never heard of Second Life. Is it a massive online role playing game like World of Warcraft or Guildwars? I play Wow. I have played for almost 7 years and really enjoy it. It can be addictive and at one point a few years ago when life wasn't doing well for me I was approaching that point. I think I was using it as an escape method.

Fortunately I dialed it back and only play a few times a week and not regularly, just when I have time to do so and nothing else to do. During most of the year, when the weather is nice, I rarely play it. I might log in once a month.

I have a lot of other hobbies and friends so it's never been the ONLY thing in my life. When something consumes one's life to the point where everything and everyone else becomes secondary then it's bad. It's not just with games either. Anything taken to the extreme indicates a problem.

I have never gotten involved with anyone else in any sort of EA or anything while in the game. One guy was flirting and getting personal with me and I cut off my contact with him. I'm not interested in that sort of thing at all. I play to have fun and enjoy the game. That's all.

My husband and I used to play WoW together years ago. Our kids would play it too. We'd often play as a family and had fun together. Then my husband said he was bored and stopped playing. I was rather sad and upset about this because if it was something I thought we shared and enjoyed together. I continued to play by myself. He would sit and watch TV (something I don't enjoy at all) and that was fine but then he started to nag at me not to play and I grew to resent that but that was part and parcel of a lot of problems in our marriage. There are tons of other issues as well. Wow was the least of our problems.

But we don't live together anymore and I'm happy that I kept WoW and got rid of him. :)

Nowadays I play WoW a few hours a week as a form of relaxation and entertainment..the way some folks watch TV I guess. It's a cheap way to enjoy time at home. My daughter likes it too. She only has it on her computer here at home so she only plays it when she's home, not at college. We play together so it's something we share and enjoy together.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
FOAL: W has been in SL now for over 3 yrs. Has gradually been spending more and more of her time there. I would estimate that she will now spend 6 to 12 hrs per day in SL. Probably averages about 8 hrs/day.
 
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