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Discussion Starter #1
Hello, everyone I'm new here and I think you'll be seeing a lot of me ;)

I have a real question and need opinions on it

My DH and I have been married for about a year and a half now. We had a moderate sized wedding, with all the fixings. I love him dearly, and nothing dramatic has happened within the time that we've been married but I want to renew our vows. I have several regrets about the first wedding, and want to re-do these things. We were in over our heads with the planning so some things didn't turn out so great.
The biggest problem was my dress. In the dress that I ordered, I tried on a size 4 at David's Bridal because that's the only one they had. I needed a 6 so I ordered a size up. When the dress came in I tried it on and walked around for a minute or two and then took it off. On my wedding day, I had cleavage everywhere. The dress was beautiful, but not flattering on me for having large breasts since the dress was strapless.
My pictures reflected this. All of my pictures looks like someone stuffed me in the dress. Boobs were everywhere. Even one picture the dress was twisted slightly and my boobs were twisted with it. It's very embarassing, and because of this there were only a few pictures that I felt I could salvage. I feel like the dress ruined my day and my pictures. Other than that, looking back at the pictures, the dress also made me look bulky throughout my midsection. Not only did the pictures look bad because of the dress being ill-fitting, but since I kept having to readjust, I was stressed and upset about that so I'm sure that showed on my face.
Everyone told me I was beautiful, and I think it looked ok. But that was my #1 regret. It makes me cringe thinking back on it.
Because of that I want to do it over. Nothing extravagent in the least. We just want to say our vows over a cliff, with just the two of us a minister, and our photographer. I'll have a better lovely well-fitted dress, and we will decorate the surrounding trees. No guests, no gifts, no cake.
Also, my hubby and I both wanted to elope, so the larger wedding we had was for the sake of family. Doing our 2nd ceremony would ful-fil our wants in this way as well.
I'm not looking for perfection, I'm not OCD.
There were countless other things that went "wrong", my uncle walked me down the aisle, my mom tried to ruin my reception by having me open gifts, one of the groomsmen couldn't make it, I forgot my garter, etc. I'm not pondering or upset really about any of these.
We were planning on doing this next summer.
I need opinions on this idea.
Of course I know that it's ultimately about our marriage and not the wedding.
I'm just way too modest for my breastiful pictures LOL
Should we maybe forfeit the minister and just maybe take pictures with me in a new dress? Will this taint my first wedding? What do you guys think?
If we did this it would be with all of the elements that we initially wanted.
Also, I understand that some will disagree with this. I'm looking for suggestions and perceptions, not judgement. Thanks
 

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I've always looked back on my wedding pictures and hated them. Seriously. I looked terrible. I was a scrawny, long-haired kid.

So yeah, I'd do it again and try to get it "right". But a do-over after one-two years? I think I'd wait for a five- or 10-year anniversary and then renew the vows.
 

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41362, Thanks for your reply :)

Wow, what a list LOL
I agree that things always happen and it will never be perfect, my list includes:
-Forgotten Garter
-Uncle walking me down the aisle
-One of my groomsmen didn't show
-My mother wanted me to open gifts during the reception
-Mom picked a verbal fight with my aunt
-The only dance that happened was our first dance, no other dancing at all with guests
-I'm brown and my husband is white so in some of the pictures you can see where my makeup rubbed off on him LOL. This really isn't a problem, and I actually think it's cute. I'm glad she didn't photo-shop it.
-When I started walking down the aisle I actually walked the wrong way and people thought I was getting cold feet, and leaving LOL
These along with countless other things went "wrong", I'm certainly not a perfectionist, and I'm not pondering over those things at all, or wanting to change them. In fact this is the first time that I've remembered some of the things that I listed.
However, I look at my pictures often and it's something I'm constantly reminded about.

I didn't expound on this in my first post, but my DH and I initially wanted to have a simple, forest ceremony with just the two of us anyway. So doing this would allow for that as well. A second ceremony would essentially just be for the two of us, and it would be all the things we wanted at first :)
 

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Chris, you didn't like yours either?? I wonder how many people are unhappy with their pictures? Me knowing that actually makes me feel better about it. Not that other people have to deal with not liking them, but the fact that I'm not the only one, and that having bad pictures isn't such an isolated thing.

In my first post I said we would do it about next summer..that would put me at about our 3 year anniversary.

I agree with you about maybe not doing it so soon, but I also don't want to look too much older than our first pictures.
 

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I hate being photographed, and halfway through a very tense photo shoot, the photographer discovered that his camera hadn't been working properly...

My BIL (who gave me away) somehow wore light brown shoes with his navy suit...

After driving for hours, we arrived late at our out of the way honeymoon destination and found the place locked up and in darkness...

OP, very few weddings go off without a hitch!
 

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Personally it seems a little ridiculous. You can buy a pretty new dress and take some pictures but that won't be your wedding day. Your wedding day is what it is. You can't change what happened by taking some new pictures in a better dress. If you want pictures with your family, friends, etc, they will still be of your "bad" dress.

I would wait 5 or 10 years and have a small vow renewal. It's not about the dress anyway. It's about the fact that you married the love of your life.
 

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I know how you feel, I have quite a few horror stories from my own wedding. The worst was that I was 20 weeks pregnant, so I hated the way I looked in my dress ...some of the family we invited didn't know I was pregnant until they showed up and saw me come down the aisle, and a lot of my family is conservative so to get pregnant before marriage is taboo. A bit of drama there. The worst though was that I wasn't done with morning sickness (read: all day sickness) and I was feeling horrible the whole day. Throwing up while getting ready, passing out in the limo ride between the church and the reception...h and I had a private suite at our reception area where we were supposed to get 20-30 mins alone before entering our reception to privately have some husband and wife time, and I spent that time with my head on the couch crying because I felt so awful and just wanted to go home...then my makeup was ruined and I had to pull myself together, try to clean myself up and go down to our reception. They served us dinner and the smell of the food made me want to puke, but I was really trying to save face and pretend to be happy because the photographer was taking pics and people were approaching us to congratulate us. And I couldn't drink from my own open bar bc of being pregnant so I watched everyone else get really drunk and obnoxious while I felt awful. Not fun. There's more to the story but I will spare you.

My wedding really really bothered me for about the first two years of our marriage. I actually disliked our anniversary because it was such a trigger for how bad the day went. After all of our friends got married, I realized the experience of disliking your wedding wasn't that uncommon...it seemed like almost no brides and grooms truly enjoyed their wedding day. That gave me some perspective. We still want to renew our vows someday but as time goes on that urge faded a bit and I can laugh about what a disaster our wedding day was now.

I think your idea sounds nice. It should really be whatever you guys want it to be. If its important for you guys to get pics done, then do it. You could also do a "trash the dress" photo shoot which I have always personally thought was cute, but might be a great idea to get some new memories together in that dress you weren't thrilled with.
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