[hurtbadsatmorning]

To cut to the chase I left my wife at a party friday night. She was not home by 1:30 am sat so I went to bed, I wanted to see where she was so I tracked her on the phone, weird she is at a park. I put my shoes on and drove 5 minutes away our car was there and a truck of a friend. My heart sank, I walked the park , nothing. I looked in the car and saw a shoe. I opened the door and my wifes ass was staring me in the face as she was grinding down. I said wtf she came out and said there was no penetration but it was real close. We have been married sine 1994 and never had a problem with other men. We have talked and discovered a case of emotional infidelity that crossed the line. I know she had been drinking and was drunk, but severely snapped out when I opened the door. I can't get the images out of my head.

 

[SomedayDig]

Ouch, man. Just OUCH!

I hope you walked away and put her stuff out on the porch.

"No penetration" she says. Well, that's cuz you got there before that happened. I'd say this ain't the first time, but it can definitely be the last you have to deal with it.

 

[costa200]

. I said wtf she came out and said there was no penetration but it was real close.

Yeah right...

To cut to the chase I left my wife at a party friday night. She was not home by 1:30 am sat so I went to bed,

What the hell was she doing partying without you at that hour? Some modern age crap? How is that working for you?

 

[Gaia]

I'm so sorry OP.... that's such a terrible way to find out. I hope you beat the living crap out the guy.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

I had to relieve the sitter

 

[MisterRitter]

Wow, man that's rough. I can't even imagine. I never saw anything and still can't get the images out of my mind.

I don't even know what else to say, except I am sorry and good luck. Just don't sweep it under the rug, it needs to be dealt with one way or the other.

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

we are working it out. I will ask her to tell me the truth once more and ask her again in our counseling session that we will have. Is that good to do?

 

[SomedayDig]

So, you've had this crap in your head for 24+ hours. Where are you and where is she? What do you plan to do about this?

EDIT: Looks like we posted at the same time.

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

At home, we are working it out.

 

[Mario Kempes]

You had a tracker on her phone.... Was that because you suspected something before this?

 

[SomedayDig]

Okay...well, man...I've been there - still am. My wife had a 5 year long affair. We're trying to reconcile. I found her out 7 months ago. It ain't easy, I'm gonna warn you about that.

First, when you talk to her and ask her for the truth, what you're gonna learn quickly is about a thing called trickle truth. It's when a wayward thinks you can't handle the real truth and thinks they're doing you a favor by withholding information that you want/need.

Don't accept it. Let her know from day one that it's the truth or you walk. Period. She needs to be an open book to you from now on. Period. That's giving you every password to any email, facebook, twitter...whatever. SHE needs to do the heavy work here. You get to call the shots.

Glad to hear you're gonna do counseling. My wife and I started a week after Dday. You're gonna need that 3rd party to help you process this sh-t. It sucks.

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

we have lost 2 phones in 1 week so I put the tracker on it.

 

[Kasler]

To cut to the chase I left my wife at a party friday night. She was not home by 1:30 am sat so I went to bed, I wanted to see where she was so I tracked her on the phone, weird she is at a park. I put my shoes on and drove 5 minutes away our car was there and a truck of a friend. My heart sank, I walked the park , nothing. I looked in the car and saw a shoe. I opened the door and my wifes ass was staring me in the face as she was grinding down. I said wtf she came out and said there was no penetration but it was real close. We have been married sine 1994 and never had a problem with other men. We have talked and discovered a case of emotional infidelity that crossed the line. I know she had been drinking and was drunk, but severely snapped out when I opened the door. I can't get the images out of my head.

No penetration? Does it really matter? If you came two minutes later there definitely would have been so its no excuse.

Kick her out. You have to deal with affairs like you deal with weeds.

Extremely fast, and with extreme prejudice.

Show her in a very blatant for that this will NOT be tolerated.

You may think this is extreme, but its not. She needs definite consequences for her actions, or else she won't realize the gravity of what shes done. No matter what the hell she says, if you go soft she will lose respect for you, and you're opening yourself up for another affair. Also tell her she needs to get checked out for STDs.

Shes naked and about to have sex with this guy. This isn't something you 'talk out' after dinner. If you treat it as such you are REALLY gonna regret it. Find a good marriage counselor and schedule a meeting immediately.

 

[Jibril]

I don't really know what to say. This happened little over a day ago, so I can imagine the pain is far too raw for you to properly make a decision.

So we will need some basic information about your marital life and her behavior before we can give you any suitable advice. The most important thing you need to do for yourself is try and remain calm, and not make hasty decisions. At some point down the line you may reconcile, or you may divorce. How that plays out depends entirely on your and her willingness to work together and rebuild the marriage. It depends on how transparent she is willing to be with you, and how hard she works at restoring your trust.

It's great that you're going to counseling, but be warned - counseling is not the marital "cure-all" that will magically make the affair disappear.

You will need to face this demon head on. You cannot sweep this affair under the rug. She will need to accept responsibility and consequences for her betrayal, and you will need to come to terms with the fact that your wife is completely capable of betraying you. It is going to be a very difficult struggle. If you can pull it off, you will learn about one another tremendously, and strengthen your bonds. But you may also learn things about her that you never knew and cannot accept, or live with.

With all that said, let's start with the basics.

How often does your wife go out alone?

Have you had any marital trouble in the past? Has she been distant or unhappy lately?

Who was the man she was getting physical with?

 

[Mario Kempes]

we have lost 2 phones in 1 week so I put the tracker on it.

I don't mean to be cruel but might the two missing phones be in other trucks?

Have you considered that this may not be the first time she cheated on you?

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

I did not sleep for 36 hours I went thru the phone and everything emails, text, If you know emotional infidelity it started this way.

 

[Maricha75]

I had to relieve the sitter

Ok... and again, why did SHE not come home WITH you?? That makes no sense. You go to a party together and get a sitter to watch the kids...but you come home separately/ Ummm no way would I let that happen.

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

we are working it out. I will ask her to tell me the truth once more and ask her again in our counseling session that we will have. Is that good to do?

This happened this past Friday and you're working it out?

Riiight!

I'm just speechless. It's like I was there with you. I would've beaten the crap out of the OM and she would be living elsewhere.

Whose bright idea was it for you to relieve the babysitter? Ooh, ooh, I think I know. It was hers right?

This wasn't her first time - and you know it.

I'm heartbroken for you man.

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

One was mine DH

 

[hurtbadsatmorning]

thanks