I joined here to hopefully give you some insight as to your situation. As a female that is your wife's age, and the mother of several children (bio, as well as adopted) who so longed to have more children after our bio children, I can honestly say that if my husband was not on the same page with adoption, that our marriage would have gone downhill. Women know, from a very early age, whether they want children or not. It is at the very core of their being--there are those women who truly do not want children, but I would say those women are rare. Or they don't necessarily want to have children when they are younger, but as they grow older, especially when they are in their 30s, the longing to have children grows. I, too, went through unsuccessful fertility treatment (after having bio children) in my early 40s, but the longing to have more children did not go away. That very primal urge to have children does not go away (until you feel your family is complete), and your wife wants a child/children. There will always be issues that will have to be dealt with adopted children as they go through a tremendous amount of loss and grief over the course of their life. You have to do the best you can. I do not believe it is too late for you and your wife to adopt if you so choose, maybe through the foster care system. International adoption would be somewhat more limited due to changes going on with international adoption as a whole, but there may be some programs you could find that are open to older parents who want to adopt an older child. You and your wife really need to sit down and talk and look at the options. This has to be tremendously hard for her and you.