Last night H and I had a long, honest discussion. We’ve been avoiding addressing the core issues in our marriage and it was a long time coming. He’s tentatively agreed to marriage counseling, and wants to get help for his drinking problem and learn to reciprocate and help care for me and the kids when I need him.
I’m hesitant to make any specific “demands” or mention a timeline, boundaries or ultimatums to him. I don’t want to be unfair or create any more distance between us.
However, because of the years of neglect and abuse within our relationship, I’m not really sure how to go about being more assertive about my needs or expectations. I’m afraid if I’m too “easy” on him, there won’t be any improvement and I’ll ultimately have to leave to protect myself and our kids. If I’m too demanding, I’m afraid he’ll get discouraged and stop trying.
Any advice?
I’m hesitant to make any specific “demands” or mention a timeline, boundaries or ultimatums to him. I don’t want to be unfair or create any more distance between us.
However, because of the years of neglect and abuse within our relationship, I’m not really sure how to go about being more assertive about my needs or expectations. I’m afraid if I’m too “easy” on him, there won’t be any improvement and I’ll ultimately have to leave to protect myself and our kids. If I’m too demanding, I’m afraid he’ll get discouraged and stop trying.
Any advice?