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revenge on man who cheated with my wife

18K views 9 replies 7 participants last post by  Blue Moon  
#1 ·
I recently found proof of an affair my wife had with someone at her work. It ended 18mths ago when the bloke moved abroad with his new wife. But she was still swapping texts and pictures with him up until 4 months ago when I found out.

Theres been nothing I know of since then and our relationship has changed dramatically for the better. I am going to stick with my wife if she can keep the promises she made.

However, after the months have passed, I want to get at this guy so bad it is starting to really get to me.

When I found out I rang him up but he didnt answer. His wife did though. So I told her everything that had been going on, like her new husband shagging my wife before and after their wedding and up until they emigrated. I know the **** hit the fan but thats just not enough for me.

I have some photos of him, some XXX. Iwas wondering if anyone could give me some advice or thoughts. I know some will say it was my wifes fault, and thats partly true. But I have sorted things with my wife. Now I want to sort it with him.
 
#2 ·
I have a hard time dealing with negative feelings toward the OW(s). It's kept me awake many nights. On the one hand, I think it's displaced anger. On the other, I think I'm right to be angry at them. I never did anything to them to justify them participating in causing me so much pain. I try to keep reminding myself that not forgiving someone is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die. Maybe the best revenge is to live a happy life and refuse to let it make us bitter
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#3 ·
Way waste the time.
You won your wife back, you told OMW, isn't that revange enough?
Do you want the drama of the OM back in both your lives.
My take is, the OM will most likely retaliate and you will get caught up in a bad cycle of sh*t.
 
#5 ·
It's time to drop it. You have your wife back and you notified the OM's wife. Besides your wife chose to have the affair--this man didn't hold a gun to her head and force her. The OM and your wife were equal participants. Don't let the anger and vengeance drive a wedge between you and your wife. Move on and focus on the present and future you now have together.
 
#6 ·
When I found out I rang him up but he didnt answer. His wife did though. So I told her everything that had been going on, like her new husband shagging my wife before and after their wedding and up until they emigrated. I know the **** hit the fan but thats just not enough for me.
There is a reason why a couple who are trying to recover their marriage must end ALL contact with the Other Person. Live by that principle.

Your wife is a rational human being, she made the choice to have an affair. It was not his fault.

Yes, I have a suggestion of what to do: destroy all that evidence and move on with your WIFE, not him.
 
#8 ·
Putting up photos of others without their permission is against the law. And nude photos can only make it worse. Well in the US it's illegal without getting consent before posting photos of others, especially is there is intent to cause hurt and malice to that person.

And you've already told the OM wife, let it go. He didn't put a gun to your wife's head and make her have the affair. You've already gotten your revenge, now move on and work on your marriage instead of looking for ways to hurt him more.
 
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