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Discussion Starter #1
So I have always held women to a higher standard then I do men. Sad I know. From all the stories on here and other forums it is always made out to be that the MM initiates and pursues the OW. Boy was that so off the mark. I created a fake male profile on a website using my husband's age (mid 30s)and the status being married to see what kind of responses he would get. I am flabergasted. I have seen IMs and pending request from a ton of women from age 22-50, some single and some divorced. The funny part is when they say that their men have cheated on them but the are looking for fun. Wholly cow, I have had my eyes opened wide.
 

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Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.

Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.
 

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When my husband cheated on me and I found out I flirted with the idea on line but I never followed through. My user name was badarmywife lol. I was wanting to get a handle on this world I had theretofore been blissfully unaware of. I was :-o that it existed to the extent that it does. I realized how stupidly naive I had been about the world. People really do hook up for sex. Married people. I mean, I knew this, in theory, but not in practice. I needed to see for myself how true it was.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.

Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.
I figured that some of them are. Probably trying to get a guy to pay for sex chats and such. But damn the immediate responses when I log in are astounding.
 

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Um, yeah, that's why there are websites devoted to this, like the one who advertises: "Life is short, have an affair".

Let's not let anyone off easy in this one though. The WS is the one who made the vow and owns the decision they made.

It's also easy as a single young woman to be all caught up with an older married man who tells you all of his woes and how you've made him feel alive again. Especially when he showers you with all sorts of attention, takes you on all sorts of trips and starts talking about your 'future together'.

Yeah, I got all wrapped up in that in my early 20's - thought he was sincere. My friend knew better, told me to 'test' it by telling him I was moving to the city he lived in. It ended almost immediately when he got a mental picture of me running around the same city as his wife. Reality check for me.
 

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I got married the first time kinda young and was surprised at the number of offers i recieved constantly when i started wearing a wedding ring than before actually i was shocked to say the least
 

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Um, yeah, that's why there are websites devoted to this, like the one who advertises: "Life is short, have an affair".

Let's not let anyone off easy in this one though. The WS is the one who made the vow and owns the decision they made.

It's also easy as a single young woman to be all caught up with an older married man who tells you all of his woes and how you've made him feel alive again. Especially when he showers you with all sorts of attention, takes you on all sorts of trips and starts talking about your 'future together'.

Yeah, I got all wrapped up in that in my early 20's - thought he was sincere. My friend knew better, told me to 'test' it by telling him I was moving to the city he lived in. It ended almost immediately when he got a mental picture of me running around the same city as his wife. Reality check for me.
I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I got married the first time kinda young and was surprised at the number of offers i recieved constantly when i started wearing a wedding ring than before actually i was shocked to say the least
My husband told me the same thing. A wedding ring has never been a turn on for me. In fact I always have the men at the bar show me theirs. I can even tell them what it is made of. It is amazing how much respect I get from them when they know I am married with kids and can still have fun without crossing lines.
 

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Alot of those messages, as somebody said, are spam. They are tricks to get you to open other sites, etc.

My H had a bare minimum profile on one of those sites, no picture, hardly any info and I saw some of the emails that came from that..they were like..I like your picture, you are hot..ummmm there is no picture? So that tells you that the emails are pretty much fake and computer generated.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Alot of those messages, as somebody said, are spam. They are tricks to get you to open other sites, etc.

My H had a bare minimum profile on one of those sites, no picture, hardly any info and I saw some of the emails that came from that..they were like..I like your picture, you are hot..ummmm there is no picture? So that tells you that the emails are pretty much fake and computer generated.
That is just it...there is no picture and no reference to a picture. Just women trying to instant message everytime I log on. I guess they figure since a MM is on there he is looking for it.
 

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I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.
I am surprised there's a whole website devoted to affairs but it does show that there is a market.

The WH I was involved with never wore his ring or referenced his marriage until we had been seeing each other for a few months. Then it was the 'we're separating', 'we're divorcing', 'I don't even sleep in the same room' BS story.
 

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Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.

Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.
Sorry to disagree, but absolutely incorrect. As a separated online dater, I had more women approaching me than I could make time to see. And I am not talking about come see my website or email me a naked picture. I'm talking about getting together for a glass of wine and date two wanting to have me for breakfast! As some may know, my STBXW hacked my profile and even put in a line on my profile that said "I am still in love with my wife and trying to work it out with her" and I got several emails from woman telling me that was great let's get together! I was floored!
 

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so once my H was at work and outside his office two women were talking and this was the conversation-

woman 1: So and so is hot
woman 2: yeah but he's married
woman1: so.
woman 2: so?
woman1: Yeah, it like the married ones. Its a bigger challenge. Its fun.......

Yep. she said that loud enough to be heard. I have spent the past year of my life saying "what the hell is wrong with women these days?"
 

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Discussion Starter #18
The surprise was me being wrong in thinking that women had more respect for marriage. I was hoping to prove that most OW were right in that the men pursued him.
 

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The surprise was me being wrong in thinking that women had more respect for marriage. I was hoping to prove that most OW were right in that the men pursued him.
I can tell you from both sides that neither MEN nor WOMEN are unique in this aspect.

I still hold the position that the WS is the one that took the vows and has the obligation to uphold them. It's a choice to engage in an affair.
 

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I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.
Well, girl WS cheated with knew he was married and had two very small children. He even had her on his old MySpace while posting pics of me and our children. Nice. Three other girls I suspect, one in which he has admitted was an EA all knew he was married, had children. I'm amazed by this. The lack of morals out there is unbelievable. I just always knew a married man with kids was off limits, even growing up. And I'm sure even despite our hell if you asked my girls now they would still say a married man is not supposed to see other women. Kids understand what a marriage is.
 
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