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Hi everyone,
I just have some questions and wanted to learn from others on how usually long term relationships end in a mutual and civil way.
  1. How is it possible to end a long term relationship? (How do you bring up the topic? or start the discussion?)
  2. How can people have a civil discussion and agree to it?
  3. How do you go about dividing everything amicably? (assets)
  4. If an infant is involved, how do you make sure that the best interest of the child is being put first?
  5. How do you address someone who is dismissive of what you have to say?
Thank you for your input.
 

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Hi everyone,
I just have some questions and wanted to learn from others on how usually long term relationships end in a mutual and civil way.
  1. How is it possible to end a long term relationship? (How do you bring up the topic? or start the discussion?)
  2. How can people have a civil discussion and agree to it?
  3. How do you go about dividing everything amicably? (assets)
  4. If an infant is involved, how do you make sure that the best interest of the child is being put first?
  5. How do you address someone who is dismissive of what you have to say?
Thank you for your input.
With a lawyer. They may dismiss you but they won’t the judge or mediator
 

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Let me expand. See a lawyer get to know what is typical in your state. Set out a plan that you think is fair in writing. Have your own plan for food clothing and a place to live. Then and only then sit down when you’ve dropped said infant at a babysitter and calmly say. I don’t think we should be together anymore. Here’s what I propose.

if they are rational and you can agree to things then bang out the details and have the lawyer formalize the details. If not let the lawyer take over.

many people you would never expect are monsters once it comes to separation so have your ducks in a row before you sit down. In addition if you are sure this is what you want then don’t turn this into a blame game. Simply state you don’t want to continue the relationship and that you’d like to discuss the details of untangling.

it doesn’t seem like you are married so you may or may not have certain rights. Parents have rights so if he’s the father you’ll need to work out custody.

sone states and countries have common law marriages some don’t.

the real question is are you sure that you want to separate or see an improvement in your relationship?

If you are so unhappy now how did an infant come to be? Is this unhappiness new found, short lived or sudden onset like an affair?

if you’ve just had and infant you may also be suffering from post partum depression.
 

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You can't have a constructive discussion about ending a marriage with someone who is dismissive. Simple as that.

Get an attorney. Get your financial ducks in a row Decide you are going to leave. Tell the other party, but don't get into a long-winded discussion. If you truly want to leave, then you do it.

Forget the dream of dividing everything amicably. In fact, get over the dream of an amicable parting. Does it happen? Sure. But it sounds like you are up against someone who will likely get nasty. That's life. Sorry.

BTW, you basically posted the same thing 15 months ago. At this point it's either **** or get off the pot.

P.S. - You need to lawyer-up like yesterday. Divorce isn't pretty; in fact, it can get downright ugly. If you are hoping for it to be otherwise, I have to burst your bubble. Again, sorry.
 
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You only need an attorney if you are married or property is in dispute.

As for how you bring it up, that is a matter of taste. Being respectful is necessary if you hope for it to be civil. It can only be civil if both parties make it that way.

As for dividing assets, it depends on the asset. Things like vehicles or real estate normally must have ownership changed formally, things like appliances can change ownership informally.

What is in an infant's best interest isn't a simple question, if in doubt you can seek a counsellor's opinion.

If someone is dismissive where no legal issues apply, not much you can do. If legal issues do apply, then deal with them legally.
 

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When you need professional advice.... hire a professional. This forum is worth what you paid for it in terms of legal advice.... worthless.
 
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