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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,

I'm new here. First of all, i am not married but have been with this girl for over 3 and a half years. Recently, about last 4 ~ 6 months we have been arguing alot on silly stuff, things we dont agree with each other on. Yesterday we had a big talk, and we ended up in my gf decided if we should carry on our relationship or not. It's not the first time we almost broke up, but this time i know it is serious, and im afraid of losing here. What makes me a bit mad and confused is that yesterday i asked her what she wants from life, if she wants me in it or not, and she did not know what to answer, and today when i told her that we should fix things up, she said that she needs to know why she was not able to answer that question and that she needs time, and it could meen that she decideds that it is better over for us.

Any help?

Thanks

Ian
 

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Ian

It is good that she is taking some time with this issue. It does not necessarily mean she wants the relationship to end. She is not making a snap decision and that is good. Give her time and space and take that time to look at yourself and the relationship. Your relationship may be at a crossroads so both of you get your bearings. Good luck
 

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I think this bump will prove to be the best relationship tool in your life. Why argue over the little things? COmmunication is to important to a relationship but you must be able to listen and talk well. It doesn't matter if you and her each are unique people with different goals as long as you can do them together and support one another. My wife at 30 decided she wanted to go back to college. It was heck for 3 months filling in the gaps we needed to get her there, but we managed it, and I help her every chance I can even being a practice target for her and her phlebotomy class (ouch). The thing is that you can't let the little things get in the way. My wife plays WOW and I do not, but we set rules so she could play and it would not get in the way of our marriage. I like the fact she has found something fun that she likes, but not at the expense of spending time together so we talked it over and she still plays about 20 hours a week but when I am at my store and not home.

what are the silly things you argue about?

draconis
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for your support.

well we mostly argue on stuff like... i did not add the "swt hrt" we i send her an sms or she did not walk next to me when we went out with our friends, as i said.. stuipid stuff that in due time its as if they became serious.

My hobby is pc gaming, and i know my limits, i always stop playing when i know that she is coming over or stuff like that, her hobby, seems to be her friends, spending time with her friends, and im afraid that it might effect us. about a month ago one of her best friends broke up after a 4 year realtionship, and just last week, another friend of hers broke up with her boyfriend after about 2 years.... am i thinking bad if i presume that it may be effecting her, i asked her if the situation did, she said that her friends have nothing to do with it.

Ow well, lets just hope for the best...
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i forgot to mention something that in my opinion i deserve that get slapped on the face for.... for the recent fights we had, without me knowing why, i told her that its over, for about 4 times, and each time she truly hurts....
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
People, im having some problems here... on Sunday night just after we had the serious talk, and now i am left hanging to find out her decision tonight. from sunday after the talk i have lost all my apetite, i can hardly sleep, i cant stop thinking.... what can i do... i feel weak and is if i need to throw up all the time :(
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Just to let you all know... we talked last night, she told me loads of stuff... we did not fight or anything, but she had decided to break up... she said that she still loves me but has lost faith in our relationship... im totally broken down... im trying to forget her by going out with my friends and working, but each topic we talk about, it always ends up on her... should i call her and tell her to take another chance? i dont want to be the patetic guy or to bother her... i know she still loves me, and i do too, but i dont know why all this has happened.
 

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I think a girl might be better suited to answer that last question, but I think you're doing the right thing in keeping busy. Breakups are hard and it's always best to have something to distract you. Do you exercise? That helps me stave off depression.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I do not regularly exercise, but i plan too, my dad and i planned to start going to a gym, so at the same time i work off some of the temper and sadness i have in me. Thanks for ur reply.

Any women? :)
 
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