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I am at a complete loss on what to do with my marriage. I am on the brink of ending the marriage. I am so depressed and unhappy.

So I guess I will start from the beginning when the real problems began. January 2012 we had just become engaged. I had a weird gut feeling about this woman that was making posts on my fiance at the time's wall. So I caught him in the shower and looked at his phone and looked at his facebook (yes I don't think it was right that I did this but I don't regret it). Anyway I saw that he was messaging this woman back and forth and the conversations were borderline too friendly (she would ask where I was at and he'd tell her things like sweet dreams and such). So a couple days later I asked him if he had been talking to this woman. He said that he hardly ever spoke to her (which I knew was a lie) and that she was a former co-worker. I gave him a chance to fess up so I was like are you sure you never talk to her? He continued with his story of never talking to her. I got mad and left the house to calm down for a moment and came back and asked him to show me his facebook messages. He pulled it up and suddenly the messages were gone (which I double checked that same day). I asked him where the messages were and he continued with the whole I don't know what you are talking about thing. Finally I told him I knew that he was talking to her since I looked at his phone. He then proceeds to fess up and said he was talking to her but it was just friendly. It deeply concerned me that he would actually delete the messages and tried to make a fool of me. I am fairly convinced that he had an affair with this woman even though he will never admit to it.

So since then we have been in one huge fight about this issue for almost a year now. I know I probably should have left him then but I didn't. Even worse mistake is I married him in October 2012 and I have felt miserable and trapped since. He convinced me to leave my job and now I can't easily get away from this situation. He NEVER wants to have sex anymore. I have practically begged him to have sex and I just feel so unwanted and undesirable. My self esteem has completely plummeted. I have even suggested marriage counseling to work this out and he just doesn't want anything to do with it. I am still convinced that he is cheating on me (probably that same woman). I don't trust him and I heavily resent him. He's so secretive too. His phone is virtually attached to him, he even takes it in the shower with him. I am pretty sure he is talking to women on facebook.

I love him but I am so heavily depressed at this point. Should I actually just leave him at this point? I don't know what to do I am just so sad and upset.
 

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The facts:

You ignored your gut feelings about another woman.

He lied to you and yet you married him anyway.

You've only been married for 3 months and the sex has already stopped?

And for added fun he talked you into leaving your job so that makes him controlling.

Sweetie he's cheating on you and he's cake eating. For reasons I'm not sure of he wants you at home and her on the side. He's having sex with her and you serve some other purpose in his life.

If that were me I'd leave. After only 3 months what do you have to lose?
 

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I am at a complete loss on what to do with my marriage. I am on the brink of ending the marriage. I am so depressed and unhappy.

So I guess I will start from the beginning when the real problems began. January 2012 we had just become engaged. I had a weird gut feeling about this woman that was making posts on my fiance at the time's wall. So I caught him in the shower and looked at his phone and looked at his facebook (yes I don't think it was right that I did this but I don't regret it). Anyway I saw that he was messaging this woman back and forth and the conversations were borderline too friendly (she would ask where I was at and he'd tell her things like sweet dreams and such). So a couple days later I asked him if he had been talking to this woman. He said that he hardly ever spoke to her (which I knew was a lie) and that she was a former co-worker. I gave him a chance to fess up so I was like are you sure you never talk to her? He continued with his story of never talking to her. I got mad and left the house to calm down for a moment and came back and asked him to show me his facebook messages. He pulled it up and suddenly the messages were gone (which I double checked that same day). I asked him where the messages were and he continued with the whole I don't know what you are talking about thing. Finally I told him I knew that he was talking to her since I looked at his phone. He then proceeds to fess up and said he was talking to her but it was just friendly. It deeply concerned me that he would actually delete the messages and tried to make a fool of me. I am fairly convinced that he had an affair with this woman even though he will never admit to it.

So since then we have been in one huge fight about this issue for almost a year now. I know I probably should have left him then but I didn't. Even worse mistake is I married him in October 2012 and I have felt miserable and trapped since. He convinced me to leave my job and now I can't easily get away from this situation. He NEVER wants to have sex anymore. I have practically begged him to have sex and I just feel so unwanted and undesirable. My self esteem has completely plummeted. I have even suggested marriage counseling to work this out and he just doesn't want anything to do with it. I am still convinced that he is cheating on me (probably that same woman). I don't trust him and I heavily resent him. He's so secretive too. His phone is virtually attached to him, he even takes it in the shower with him. I am pretty sure he is talking to women on facebook.

I love him but I am so heavily depressed at this point. Should I actually just leave him at this point? I don't know what to do I am just so sad and upset.
You gave up your power for what? Ask family & friends to help you get a divorce & get back on your feet. Leave him. This is dead & not worth trying to save. You are a strong woman who deserves & can do better. Learn from it, leave & live the life you want.
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