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Discussion Starter #1
As much as people question these groups, recent topics on TAM have proven the exact reason these groups exist. So many divorced people are their own worst enemy, even years after their divorces are final. There is a reason these groups are very popular within the screwed over single dad population. Dads rights matter, no matter who tries to minimize that or even take it away unilaterally, as one poster here suggests.

This is the exact reason that dads coming off a divorce are far less likely to jump into another relationship. Hypergamy is in full effect, so be careful out there.
 

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As much as people question these groups, recent topics on TAM have proven the exact reason these groups exist. So many divorced people are their own worst enemy, even years after their divorces are final. There is a reason these groups are very popular within the screwed over single dad population. Dads rights matter, no matter who tries to minimize that or even take it away unilaterally, as one poster here suggests.



This is the exact reason that dads coming off a divorce are far less likely to jump into another relationship. Hypergamy is in full effect, so be careful out there.
What has happened to make you feel this is true?

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Someone makes the unilateral decision to keep their kids from their dad due to virus and social distancing. Gets tremendous support on TAM (of course) for pulling the rug out from her ex. I hope that dad calls his lawyer tomorrow. However, I don’t want to break any rules for talking about another thread here. So if I am, I’ll delete this.
 

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I appreciate your feelings on it and I sympathize with many in the movement.

I'm not part of it or affected by it but I feel bad for those that are.

What do you think some solutions could be?
 

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Someone makes the unilateral decision to keep their kids from their dad due to virus and social distancing. Gets tremendous support on TAM (of course) for pulling the rug out from her ex. I hope that dad calls his lawyer tomorrow. However, I don’t want to break any rules for talking about another thread here. So if I am, I’ll delete this.
I'm interested. Which thread?
 

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Someone makes the unilateral decision to keep their kids from their dad due to virus and social distancing. Gets tremendous support on TAM (of course) for pulling the rug out from her ex. I hope that dad calls his lawyer tomorrow. However, I don’t want to break any rules for talking about another thread here. So if I am, I’ll delete this.
IIRC, the OP on that thread DID NOT make a unilateral decision to keep her kids from their dad. What she DID do was start a thread sharing her concerns regarding the Coronavirus, asking if others shared her concerns, and asking if her thoughts on possibly asking to temporarily keep the kids with her, with agreement from her ex, during the pandemic.

I understand you are struggling with your own issues arising from your divorce but please try not to project those issues onto others. Try to look at the picture in front of you with unbiased eyes.

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IIRC, the OP on that thread DID NOT make a unilateral decision to keep her kids from their dad. What she DID do was start a thread sharing her concerns regarding the Coronavirus, asking if others shared her concerns, and asking if her thoughts on possibly asking to temporarily keep the kids with her, with agreement from her ex, during the pandemic.

I understand you are struggling with your own issues arising from your divorce but please try not to project those issues onto others. Try to look at the picture in front of you with unbiased eyes.

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So, let me get this straight. She doesn’t talk to her ex about it, comes on a public forum in support of “limiting” her children’s time with their dad. How is that not unilateral? On top of it, it’s referred to as “visitation” not shared time with their dad.

Sorry, I’m not projecting. I see this control stuff disguised as ‘best interests of kids’ all the time. Sounds to me that it is in her best interests.
 

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Never mind. I found it. I don't see in her what you do.

It would appear you are possibly taking out your frustration and bitterness from your own situation,(and I'm not claiming your feelings are unwarranted) on her.

I really do not think she fits what you are describing.
 

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So, let me get this straight. She doesn’t talk to her ex about it, comes on a public forum in support of “limiting” her children’s time with their dad. How is that not unilateral? On top of it, it’s referred to as “visitation” not shared time with their dad.



Sorry, I’m not projecting. I see this control stuff disguised as ‘best interests of kids’ all the time. Sounds to me that it is in her best interests.
She did say using the word "visitation" was in poor taste and corrected herself.... And her later posts did acknowledge that she would speak with the dad before making such a decision - that is not unilateral. Iirc, she even brought up the option of leaving her kids with the ex but due to circumstances with their living situation and issues with her eldest, she didn't think he'd agree to that.

We'll just have to agree to disagree on the projection. You're entitled to your feelings but they certainly aren't facts.

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So, let me get this straight. She doesn’t talk to her ex about it, comes on a public forum in support of “limiting” her children’s time with their dad. How is that not unilateral? On top of it, it’s referred to as “visitation” not shared time with their dad.

Sorry, I’m not projecting. I see this control stuff disguised as ‘best interests of kids’ all the time. Sounds to me that it is in her best interests.
I come on here all the time and discuss very intimate and private things before going to my wife about it and sometimes this wonderful sounding board helps me realize there wasn't anything to bother with to begin with.

It's Anonymous for a good reason.

She wasn't doing what you are saying.

She has legitimate concerns that we are all experiencing now and she was not trying to deprive family time. That wasn't her goal.

She doesn't even have that much power in her life but was getting advice and input.
 

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.
 

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.
Something to remember is that after a divorce, communication with ex's is often very difficult. It's not like in this sort of situation, talking through all angles of a situation with an ex is difficult at best and impossible at worse. When this is the case, it's often wise to really think things through the issue before bringing it up so that you are sure to have though through as many aspects that you can come up with.

My take on that thread is that this is what the OP is doing. She does not want to keep the children from their father. She wants to protect the children from a very bad illness.

It sounds to me like she's gotten good input and will end up talking to their father and hopefully come up with a good solution. My bet is that this is a big problem with a lot of families right now. It's tragic.
 

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.
It probably struck a nerve because you're in the thick of a contentious divorce. You're in that mental mode, tunnel vision for lack of a better description. High stress situation where your every move is being observed and can be used against you.

It's not easy but try not base your opinion on all women on a select few. Not only now (while you're in divorce mode) but while dating.

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.


Using the word Visitation is offensive and I get how that struck a nerve with you. It’s the same for me when men say they have to babysit their kids.... ah drives me nuts.

Sometimes we are more sensitive about things because of what we are going through and/or went through in life. But when you surround yourself with other “victims” like the red pills and MGTW group... you become more and more delusional and more and more angry, and you see what you want to see which is basically women constantly screwing men over. It’s a bad way to live.
 

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So I read the thread. I am assuming its the one -

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/439873-would-you-limit-parental-visitation-social-distancing.html

I think you might be a little sensitive because of your own situation. Speaking as a man I didn't see anything or anyone on there advocating for keeping kids away from their Dads just a difficult situation with someone looking for help. In fact some female posters came out very strongly against using this as an excuse for keeping kids away from their parents. No doubt there are bad people (both men and women doing this).

Long diatribe warning, but whatever I am stuck in the house for like 18 months now or whatever so I got time. AND YOU HAVE TIME TO READ IT! :wink2:

I am not accusing you of anything I write here I am just stating my belief.

Look there is Misandry and misogyny and both suck. I don't support Redpill because it's stupid. First of all it judges men by their sex count and sees ****ing women (and I use that word for effect because Redpill thinks about it just as crass) as a way to judge ones worth. In a sense it gives this twisted and corrupt view of women the ultimate power over these men. I mean in the one hand they say how awful women are but in the next they judge themselves by how many of them they can manipulate into having sex with them. It's stupid.

MGTOW, I see no problem with that but I have to be honest haven't looked into it as much. If you don't want to have relationships with women don't it's your life. Enjoy Fortnite on your 75 inch TV. If I was a single guy I would be thinking great less competition. I think they are making a mistake though. It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bath water as far as I am concerned. I'm married and for the most part I think it has been good for my life. Any difficulties I might have are not because of marriage. Even in my marriage we have difficulties even some very hard ones at times because we are two people trying to live and share a life together. It's not and never was Disney. And you know what if we couldn't get over them we would divorce. But then again I married well, and that was on me. I married a decent person. I also choose someone who had priorities and goals so I know that even if we divorce she will be making her own money she has her own career that she cares about, makes comparable money so I am not going to get screwed. I always stated I am against a spouse being a stay at home parent for a longer then period when the kids are very young. Again that has noting to do with a persons gender, that's about who you marry. If she cheated that would suck, but I am a good husband and there are plenty of other women out there.

My point is having a bad experience in a relationship is because of who you had a relationship with not the gender of the person you had a relationship with. And I got to be honest some of the *******s some of the men (women too but we are talking about men) who come on her decided to have relationships with have me scratching my head. Look there are people you have fun with and people you marry. If you choose to marry an ******* don't be surprised that they continue to be an ******* when you divorce them. All these movements are big on personal responsibility but they never talk about the personal responsibility of marrying someone who already had a ****-ton of problems. Most of these guys who do that are suffering from White Knight syndrome.

But I got to be honest I chalk most of that up to no Father in the home (both for men and women). For 50 years men have failed to accept responsibility for this. As I see it a good father stamps that **** out when the kid is 15 and ****ing around with some POS, but even before that he should be talking to his sons and daughters about what they want in a marriage what their role will be if they are a son, what will be important for their husband if they are a daughter. The way bad men think, the way good men think for both. How you shouldn't judge yourself by the amount of people that choose to have sex with you. How as a man you should judge yourself by your honor in doing the right thing, taking responsibility, supporting your family, making your wife your priority (not your car, or your looks, or your game, or you team, how much money you make, or even your job), and generally being a provider (and that means both financially but also emotionally to a certain extent.) Finally if you do that you can be confident about your worth, and if you are confident make no mistake women will flock to you. And this is the guy who your daughter should be looking for. It ain't about playing games or your frame, or it least it doesn't have to be. Besides most wise men don't want a women who can be so easily manipulated at least not to marry, but hey if your life is about ****ing then yes Redpill works.

That's not to say there isn't some good things. Working hard and making money is good. Being ambitious is good. Taking care of your appearance is good, being confident when you talk to a women is good. But being confident in YOURSELF even if yourself is a nerd; talking to a potential mate and having her respond is a much better thing because it's real and it gives you the potential to have a relationship built on truth. Lifting weights should be done by all men as far as I am concerned as someone who got into it late. There is just something about pushing iron. Crazy but true. Yes ****ing take pride and joy in being masculine but that doesn't mean suppressing your emotions and being tough, it means strong enough to be soft when it is necessary or when it will help someone you care for, with your wife. It means being in control of your emotions.

Yes it's hard being a man (and I that doesn't mean I am saying it's not also being a women) and it's a ****ing goddamn privilege. Being a man is the most important Job/Role you will ever do and can ever do in your life, and you get the chance to do that every ****ing day. Thank God for that!

Let's start that ****ing movement. I will champion that to every young man around.

Finally I have to say from my work, I'm sorry but the Men have got to step it up. I am always constantly impressed by the young women I work with, many of them Mothers, some who I can tell are also having to take too much care of their husbands because of their off handed complaints. They work their asses off, lots of times because have to. Some of them end up doing a lot more work then they should. It is a far smaller pool of men who I see do the same thing. I'm sorry I am just being honest. And if you think I am some kind of modern feminist then you don't read my posts. I think the latest wave of feminism and identity politics and all that is "misguided" to be polite. I could write a whole post about that too.

What I am is someone who believes in women because I have a good Mother, and good Sisters, and good friends and colleagues who I am with every day and they consistently show me how awesome they are. Even many of the poster here, some who I don't agree with a lot and some who I admire greatly. A majority of women in this country (and probably in the world) are ****ing awesome! Yes they are different then us in general and thank God! That is part of what makes them wonderful.

What I would say to all these guys in these groups is first - STOP THINKING OF THEM AS A PATH TO ETERNAL HAPPINESS. Second - STOP LOOKING AT THEIR DESIRE FOR YOU AS A JUDGMENT OF YOUR WORTH. Third - STOP LOOKING AT THEM AS ONLY A MEANS TO GIVE YOU PLEASURE. Try getting to know them, talk to them, see how they think what they care about, how it's different and how it's the same. If for no other reason that it's fun, but also you can learn from them. You will soon grow to love and respect them if you don't. And you will respect them more if you already do. That is how you find a good partner. They are really one of the best things of this world that God created for all of us. We as men have to stop blaming them for our failures. We ****ing stormed the beaches at Normandy. We ****ing eradicated smallpox. We went to the moon. We wrote Clair De Lune, and The Silmarillion. We need to start acting like men, and that means taking responsibility for this world that we have created. Frankly who cares what women or other men think. Compete, lead, make it better!

I'm sorry some men have had ****ty times with their wives, but that has nothing to do with all women or marriage.

Women ****ing Rock!!!

End of one crazy diatribe from someone who has been working nonstop for 10 days and facing the prospect of being stuck the house for the rest of my life.
 

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Also when the dust settles let the other partner give you that extra time with your kids and then reflect at least I have my kids and they remained healthy. Others my not be as fortunate.
 

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Someone makes the unilateral decision to keep their kids from their dad due to virus and social distancing. Gets tremendous support on TAM (of course) for pulling the rug out from her ex. I hope that dad calls his lawyer tomorrow. However, I don’t want to break any rules for talking about another thread here. So if I am, I’ll delete this.
#1 response from women......"Who hurt you? What happened to you for you make feel this way?"

The reality is Red Pill is truth. It's been around for centuries.
Watch how the inter-sexual dynamics change under these new life brought on by Covid19..

SMV curve will always be the same....
Personally I have no need for MGTOW. I love women too much.
 

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.


Using the word Visitation is offensive and I get how that struck a nerve with you. It’s the same for me when men say they have to babysit their kids.... ah drives me nuts.

Sometimes we are more sensitive about things because of what we are going through and/or went through in life. But when you surround yourself with other “victims” like the red pills and MGTW group... you become more and more delusional and more and more angry, and you see what you want to see which is basically women constantly screwing men over. It’s a bad way to live.
Its a pushback against feminism. When one group infringes on another's rights, there is always opposition. I don't see a dime's worth a difference between the two, honestly. They are both hate groups.
 

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It could be possible that I misread it. Anything’s possible. But it sure stuck a nerve with me for some reason. Not too many posts , if any, do. This one did.


Using the word Visitation is offensive and I get how that struck a nerve with you. It’s the same for me when men say they have to babysit their kids.... ah drives me nuts.

Sometimes we are more sensitive about things because of what we are going through and/or went through in life. But when you surround yourself with other “victims” like the red pills and MGTW group... you become more and more delusional and more and more angry, and you see what you want to see which is basically women constantly screwing men over. It’s a bad way to live.
Its a pushback against feminism. When one group infringes on another's rights, there is always opposition. I don't see a dime's worth a difference between the two, honestly. They are both hate groups.
 

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#1 response from women......"Who hurt you? What happened to you for you make feel this way?"

The reality is Red Pill is truth. It's been around for centuries.
Watch how the inter-sexual dynamics change under these new life brought on by Covid19..

SMV curve will always be the same....
Personally I have no need for MGTOW. I love women too much.
How do you think inter-sexual Dynamics will change under Covid 19?

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