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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Over a month ago, my 17 year-old son was in a very serious car wreck. He was in a week-long coma and his prognosis was quite grim.

Through miracle of prayer he is fine. He is working on speech due to swollen tongue, throat, and (now removed) tracheotomy and some short-term memory tricks. He remembers the past and has kept his awesome personality.

He is currently in an inpatient program where he remains at hospital, but I can take him out when therapies are done and return him to sleep. We are in a city an hour and a half from home for his recovery so I have an apartment and we come here.

So a bit of background.

I have been divorced from his dad for 12 years. My son has been estranged from his dad and stepmom for 4 years. Reasons being abuse suffered as a child, watching stepmom physically attack his sister (choke her as a teen), his dad refusing to do anything one on one with our son, basically bringing stepmom who hates him to every outing.

It got to the point my son had pulled away and because of that, and the two control freaks said, 'if you don't play by our way, we want nothing to do with you'. My son hasn't been invited to Christmas for past 4 years and has not been included in anything.

The current problem:

So when accident happened, we put feelings aside and just were both there for our son.

Hospital staff asked my ex and his wife to 'take a break' for a few days and stay away as they were agitating my son as he was waking from his coma. The social worker asked stepmom to quit rubbing him and just stand back. I wasn't asked that - just them.

My ex did stay away two days. Our daughter who is 20 asked her dad to keep his wife away until my son (her brother) could speak for himself. She pointed out the obvious, that's what staff suggested plus they did not care for each other at all and she was wailing over his bed like it was her only son. She was concerned that stepmom there was impeding her brother's recovery.

Meanwhile I tried as well to speak to my ex. My daughter and I both got total denial from him. My daughter flipped on her dad and hospital staff and I barred her from entry. Had she just come and visited, I would have been fine, but she was constantly rubbing him, kissing him, crying over him and it was brought to MY attention, by staff 'annoying' him.
Long story short, while her 'name' was on a list, these are nurses not bouncers and when new shift of nurses come on, in would come stepmom being passed off as an aunty.

We put a stop to that and now my son can speak for himself. With critical stage over, stepmom has come 3 times for short visits and my son pretended to sleep for first one and spent the second one talking to grandpa.

Now, with day passes, I can take my son 'home' with me when therapy is done and return him for sleep. His dad is texting he wants to come 'visit'. My son is aware from my daughter how his dad once again chose stepmom over him and while 'held hostage' for visits while admitted to hospital, has say in my private home.

What is right thing to do? Dad is being pushy wanting me to return son to hospital early so he can see him. Neither of us want him here. Just because he wants it doesn't mean it will happen, but how would you deal with dad or what would you say?
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Your ex and his wife's wants and needs concerning your son are immaterial right now, it's all about what's in the best interests of your son. Whilst I'd certainly encourage visits from his father when your son comes out of hospital, I'd make it clear that it isn't in your son's best interests for the abusive wife to be there, and she isn't welcome in your home.

I hope your son makes a full and speedy recovery, OP.
 
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