A fair observation and no offense taken.I hope this is seen as a genuine question rather than dig, but I find it somewhat confusing how someone who has had an affair themselves can struggle so much with their own spouse having an affair.
Obviously I understand it being difficult and the unpleasant thoughts, but surely being a DS yourself (a non-directed 'yourself') would be in the best position possible to understand the hows, and whys of it all. Can you not somehow relate your own needs and experiences to that of your spouses?
In a probably unfair way, I see it a bit like 'if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander'.
Thanks, couple.Dan, I know this an old post but I got here through your link on another thread. Your story is really heartbreaking and inspiring. The fact that you made it through all of this must mean there is true love. All the best.