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Well all, I had my first rebound dating experience post-divorce.
It lasted just 3 months and while I really liked the guy and felt a connection at first, there were some core differences: he requents bars & I don't; and he was best friends with his ex girlfriend whereas I'm barely acquaintances with my exes. The thing with his ex was tricky: they work together, see eachother most days, talk and text daily, he hangs out with her and her husband (yes she's married) often, even on the weekends, and he told me the last girl he dated before me "couldn't handle" his relationship with his ex which is why they broke up. He mentioned his ex/best friend constantly to the point where it was making me uncomfortable. I never came out and said it but I was getting my cards together to tell him I was going to break it off (yes I wrote down what I was going to say to him) and he called me and broke it off first! LOL. I admit I felt a sting of teensy rejection BUT know it wouldn't have worked anyway because I woulda never been ok with this relationship he has with his best friend/ex girlfriend/married friend. I told him "I agree with you that this is a good idea to call this off. This situation isn't working for me either." He seemed surprised that I didn't grovel and that I was really upbeat (My motto: never let them see you sweat!) It was like the easiest break up ever! He even said "Wow, you are really good at this!"
So... when talking to our mutual friends I told them "We decided to call it off. I really like him but we have some core differences. Plus, he's the close relationship he has with his ex girlfriend seems strange to me."
Said mutual friends told me they never even knew the two had dated. And I felt kinda bad saying this about how the relationship seemed odd to me but should I feel bad for doing so?
Word may get back to him. Yet at the same time, maybe it's good he sees that people think the situation is odd. He did mention this woman's husband had made comments about their friendship yet the 3 of them hang out constantly. This seems like Opposite World to me. When I was married, I wouldn't have dreamed of being best friends with an ex. The husband even made the comment to the guy I was dating that when he and the wife/best friend had their baby, he thought the baby was the guy I am dating's cause he looked like him (the guy I am dating). I thought this was massively weird.
Anyway... I feel silly for feeling rejected when I was going to call it off.
Was I wrong to tell my friends that their relationship seemed odd to me? I never like to speak negatively of anyone I've dated just out of sheer respect.
What do you guys think?
The good thing is I had my first rebound. I waited to date 1.5 year post divorce.
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It lasted just 3 months and while I really liked the guy and felt a connection at first, there were some core differences: he requents bars & I don't; and he was best friends with his ex girlfriend whereas I'm barely acquaintances with my exes. The thing with his ex was tricky: they work together, see eachother most days, talk and text daily, he hangs out with her and her husband (yes she's married) often, even on the weekends, and he told me the last girl he dated before me "couldn't handle" his relationship with his ex which is why they broke up. He mentioned his ex/best friend constantly to the point where it was making me uncomfortable. I never came out and said it but I was getting my cards together to tell him I was going to break it off (yes I wrote down what I was going to say to him) and he called me and broke it off first! LOL. I admit I felt a sting of teensy rejection BUT know it wouldn't have worked anyway because I woulda never been ok with this relationship he has with his best friend/ex girlfriend/married friend. I told him "I agree with you that this is a good idea to call this off. This situation isn't working for me either." He seemed surprised that I didn't grovel and that I was really upbeat (My motto: never let them see you sweat!) It was like the easiest break up ever! He even said "Wow, you are really good at this!"
So... when talking to our mutual friends I told them "We decided to call it off. I really like him but we have some core differences. Plus, he's the close relationship he has with his ex girlfriend seems strange to me."
Said mutual friends told me they never even knew the two had dated. And I felt kinda bad saying this about how the relationship seemed odd to me but should I feel bad for doing so?
Word may get back to him. Yet at the same time, maybe it's good he sees that people think the situation is odd. He did mention this woman's husband had made comments about their friendship yet the 3 of them hang out constantly. This seems like Opposite World to me. When I was married, I wouldn't have dreamed of being best friends with an ex. The husband even made the comment to the guy I was dating that when he and the wife/best friend had their baby, he thought the baby was the guy I am dating's cause he looked like him (the guy I am dating). I thought this was massively weird.
Anyway... I feel silly for feeling rejected when I was going to call it off.
Was I wrong to tell my friends that their relationship seemed odd to me? I never like to speak negatively of anyone I've dated just out of sheer respect.
What do you guys think?
The good thing is I had my first rebound. I waited to date 1.5 year post divorce.
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