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Discussion Starter #1
Back in 2009, when I became a member of facebook, my H really didn’t want me to. He was uncomfortable with it. But, he didn’t own me so he couldn’t ban me from it, so one thing I said that I would do is always post a profile picture of myself with him out of respect to our marriage.
FF to June 2012. He has a sexting relationship with a woman where they exchange naked photos and talk about what they’d be doing to each other if they could.
After D-day, when I told him that I was far too emotional to make a decision as to what I was going to do, and could only say I’ll take it day – by –day. I did not agree to try to R for at least a month. But, during that time, I put a photo of myself out there. Alone. One that he had joked about that I look like a model. (Which, I really don’t..I’m 44, ok? But, it is a good pic – FACE ONLY, btw).. But, he had noticed it as he walked by the PC one day and told me he didn’t appreciate it, because I had reminded me that I said I would always put up a photo of the two of us on FB out of respect to our marriage.
My response was that I am giving the same respect to our marriage as he did when he sent a pic of his d*ck to another woman, and told her he wanted to eat her pu$$y. (sorry, exact text words).
Now, almost 4 months into R, he wants me to put a pic with him in it on FB – out of respect for our marriage…
While I don’t have a problem with doing this…I never changed my marital status, nor did I ever tell anyone (besides here at TAM) what was going on… I still feel like I shouldn’t have to do that just because he doesn’t like it. And…I can tell it really bothers him.
I should respect his wishes, and put a couple photo up, right? Or, leave it as is, and let it bother him? Because the pix I have in my head of him and OW don’t exactly spell respect to me.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I took the pic of us off too. Now there is a snow scene from the tree in our yard....I dont even think he noticed.
H wouldn't have noticed either, except that it's a picture that I look good in.

I sort of do want to change it, but he doesn't get what I'm saying.

I said I would only put couples photos of myself out of respect to my marriage. He shared pictures with another woman that were not at all respectful in any way.

Why should I - now - all of a sudden take down a picture of my face out of "respect". How is it even comparable?

Maybe it's the one last piece of the whole thing that I feel I have control over? But, am I just being mean now?
 

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You will change it when you are ready. We are still on the defense right now. I hope he understands why you changed it. And I hope he notices when you decide to change back to a photo of the both of you as a couple.
 

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I hear everything you are saying and see your point across the board.

However, you are respectful of your husband, your marriage and a keeper of your word so you must change it. Aside from that, you are being teensy weensy mean about it and you are enjoying watching him squirm a bit, no? That doesn't suit you very well.

I would photoshop that very nice picture of you and add a very bad one of him in the upper right hand corner or something. Problem solved. ;)

*hugs*
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I hear everything you are saying and see your point across the board.

However, you are respectful of your husband, your marriage and a keeper of your word so you must change it. Aside from that, you are being teensy weensy mean about it and you are enjoying watching him squirm a bit, no? That doesn't suit you very well.

I would photoshop that very nice picture of you and add a very bad one of him in the upper right hand corner or something. Problem solved. ;)

*hugs*
And this is why #1 fan, Falene! :)
 

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I would say he has lost ant and all rights to ask you to change it, or to hold you to a promise you made PRIOR to him sending dirty pics to some other woman ! Change it IF and when you are ready to do so, which frankly may be never. Its your call now, not his.
 
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