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Discussion Starter #1
Well...I’m officially screwed. Just as I was really starting to doubt whether or not my relationship would work, I find out I’m pregnant. As much as I try to accept everything, he just has too much baggage. His family is comprised of nothing but lazy, morbidly obese moochers with the collective IQ of an avocado. His sister literally told him that he’s dead to her and his mother decided to insult him personally and as a father after he informed them that he could no longer pay their rent. What did they expect would happen? He has his own home, family and bills.
I wasn’t close to his youngest daughter before but ever since becoming pregnant my level of resentment towards her has multiplied. I don’t want her around me; I definitely don’t want her around my baby. She is violent towards small animals, demands all attention, has tantrums when she doesn’t get the attention she wants, now has a communicable disease, licks people, still isn’t potty trained and her favorite word is MINE. Not everything is yours you little cretin!!! Have you ever watched a kid dig in their nose, wipe the boogar on the stair railing and then lick the boogar off the railing? I have and it’s as disgusting as you imagine it is. There is zero discipline when it comes to his children and then he wonders why is do my best Houdini impression when she is around. What am I going to do?
On top of that I have to deal with 2 BM's and I don't know which one is worse. The one that managed to have 5 kids by multiple men all before her 27th birthday and is the epitome of a welfare queen. She is still collecting child support for their daughter even though the daughter has lived with us for a year. She refuses to sign papers and my DH doesn't have the balls to actually take her to court. How sweet...you don't want to upset your daughter by taking her mom to court but it's okay for us to pay child support for a kid that's living with us? Then you wonder why I look at you like you're an idiot?
Then the other BM doesn't even want the kid that they chose to adopt together. His daughter has special needs and none of those needs are properly tended to which is why she behaves like a rabid mongoose. The girl is 5, they need to stop treating her like a baby, put some expectations on her, give her some rules, discipline her and maybe everyone will stop avoiding us like the black plague when she's around. All her BM cares about is how much money they get from the state for their daughter so she can spend another $3000 on a dresser or buy another new car.
Is it sad that some days I stay at work way beyond closing just to avoid going home?
 

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OP,

Why did you start a relationship with a member of such a dysfunctional group and then even after you could see how bad things could get did you allow yourself to get pregnant?

Pregnant by a bloke who already has multiple kids from various birth mothers! Haven’t any of you heard of self restraint (or birth control)?
 

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So this is what is looks like when people marry into the honey boo boo family?

God lord woman, RUN!
 
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I'm going to throw this out there.

The child who you describe badly you see are being raised by 2 parents. Her behaviour is a result of her parenting. One of those parents will provide 50% of the parenting to the child you are carrying. Do you think that it is in the best interest of the child you are carrying to be given this father?

If you are interested in the well being of your child, as all mothers certainly are, I would ask you to consider adoption.
 

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You were "just starting to doubt"? Holy smokes... gfto of there already, preggo or not.
 
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You're not locked in just because you're pregnant

Start looking into other options for yourself and your baby. Is there someone you can stay with that has a more functional lifestyle?
 

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As far as adoption goes, I won't even consider it. I have a solid career and prior to DH, I always had my own home and money wasn't too much of an issue so if worst comes to worst, I will just be raising this child alone.
In all honesty, I am so overwhelmed by everything that I can't even think straight. I spend so much time crying over this hellish situation and regretting so many decisions I've made. I do love him but it's just too much. His adopted daughters’ behavior and his acceptance of it have guaranteed that I will never be close to her and never see her as my step-daughter; I will always see her as his and not ours. I resent him so much and feel dumb for getting pregnant. As much as he loves his children, I don't think he will be a good father, love just isn't enough. Lately things have been really bad. We are distant, I do as much as possible to be away from home, I refuse to let him touch me and I regularly dream up wild and painful scenarios for him and his family to meet an untimely death. It's over.
 

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Terminate the pregnancy and leave. Fresh start with sane people. Unless you want to be an other BM.
Um...no. If adoption isn't an option, abortion certainly isn't at this point. As I said before, if need be, I'll raise this child alone. He doesn't want to end things and last night we spoke about everything for the millionth time. He agreed to counseling and made an appointment. Hopefully it helps, if not, then I have no problem with being another "BM". I'd rather that than to abort a child that I can already feel and already love.
 

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Just read your other thread from a year ago....people were telling you then not to marry this man and get away from his family.

It looks like you married him anyway, and you can see nothing has changed. So this time, make a change. Regardless of what you do with this pregnancy, whether you raise the child, terminate, put up for adoption, etc......LEAVE HIM. Love is not enough. Stop crying and dwelling about past mistakes, and do something to avoid future mistakes. You've admitted you cannot bond with his children....that in itself is reason to end the marriage. Do what you know you must do...like the last thread told you, this relationship is hopeless. Only this time, you're potentially dragging an innocent child into this mess that they didn't ask for. So do the adult responsible thing.
 

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Just read your other thread from a year ago....people were telling you then not to marry this man and get away from his family.

It looks like you married him anyway, and you can see nothing has changed.
And do some IC to find out why you married him anyway. That wil be YOUR issue and one you won't want to go unfixed, or else you'll just pick the NEXT jerk down the road.
 

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Terminate the pregnancy and leave. Fresh start with sane people. Unless you want to be an other BM.
I second this. Especially if his family is as dumb as OP makes it sound. Why would anyone want to carry on such bad genes? Certainly sounds like a sorry lot.

Um...no. If adoption isn't an option, abortion certainly isn't at this point. As I said before, if need be, I'll raise this child alone. He doesn't want to end things and last night we spoke about everything for the millionth time. He agreed to counseling and made an appointment. Hopefully it helps, if not, then I have no problem with being another "BM". I'd rather that than to abort a child that I can already feel and already love.
You're in a heap of a mess. Since you already feel love for the child, it looks like you're in for single motherhood then I suppose. Don't really know what else to say on the matter. But if you stay, the rest of them are only going to make life worse; you are better off without them. Don't expect him to change; he won't. Things are as they are; you will have to accept them as they are or walk.
 

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Uhm.. if he was that bad and after reading all your previous posts why didn't you Opt in for Birth Control??? He must be one sure prize apart from not being a good disciplinary and having some balls when it comes to his children, extended family and the exes. I think you should do the smart thing and get out of this relationship and put you and your unborn child first!
 

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I agree with everyone else, get out now. Why subject your child to all this drama & I'm sure this isn't good for your pregnancy either.
 

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OP

"Run to the hills - Run for your lives"

As you seem determined to keep this child (entirely up to you and NO ONE should force you to terminate / give it up at birth) you MUST "Get Out Of Dodge", "put as much distance as you can between you and this family" etc.
 
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