My time on TAM has made me realize how poorly prepared most people are for the ultimate sexual relationship; marriage. As we grow up, most of us have our heads filled with all kinds of nonsense beliefs about sex. I'll list some of the major ones that I see to get the conversation started.
* Your parents don't have sex. Marriage without sex is perfectly normal and fine.
* It's all about who someone is "inside". Physical appearances don't matter.
* Satisfying sex is not an important criteria in selecting a spouse.
* A deteriorating sex life is perfectly normal in a healthy marriage. It is practically inevitable as people get older and more busy with family responsibilities.
* Sexual fetishes and non-vanilla sexual desires are a type of sickness.
* Women only like to be pampered and like sex to be slow and romantic in nature.
* Men only care about "one thing".
I'm sure the list could go on and on but those are a few off the top of my head. I don't want my kids growing up with these ideas about sex. But I'm not quite sure what they should believe in.
I don't care what their sexual interests are. But I want them to become comfortable with their sexual thoughts. I want them to be good at communicating with their partners. I want them to know how to pick sexual partners, and to know how to attract the right type of people to meet their needs and vice versa. When the time comes, I want them to chose their spouse with wisdom and maturity.
So, the question is, how do I do that?
* Your parents don't have sex. Marriage without sex is perfectly normal and fine.
* It's all about who someone is "inside". Physical appearances don't matter.
* Satisfying sex is not an important criteria in selecting a spouse.
* A deteriorating sex life is perfectly normal in a healthy marriage. It is practically inevitable as people get older and more busy with family responsibilities.
* Sexual fetishes and non-vanilla sexual desires are a type of sickness.
* Women only like to be pampered and like sex to be slow and romantic in nature.
* Men only care about "one thing".
I'm sure the list could go on and on but those are a few off the top of my head. I don't want my kids growing up with these ideas about sex. But I'm not quite sure what they should believe in.
I don't care what their sexual interests are. But I want them to become comfortable with their sexual thoughts. I want them to be good at communicating with their partners. I want them to know how to pick sexual partners, and to know how to attract the right type of people to meet their needs and vice versa. When the time comes, I want them to chose their spouse with wisdom and maturity.
So, the question is, how do I do that?