My triggers have been progressively worse as the year wears on. Worse in all areas of measurement. How many I get a day (probably averaging 2 now), how long they last, how angry I get, it is just getting to the point of being unbearable.
And since it was about this time last year that the EA started, I know these triggers will only be getting worse as I watch the dates progress to when the PA started, and when this or that happened. I am now to the point where I almost regret knowing so much. I don't even know if it would have been better to let my imagination ran rampant than know the truth.
Today, I had to come home early after I had a very bad one at work.
I got an email with a little graphic attachment to it.
Reminded me of when my wife and OM would send emails and include pictures, and that set me off. That stupid email set me off. At work! And I could barely control myself. Had to take the rest of the day off. Took me an hour to cool down once I got home.
How do I deal with these triggers? The anger and frustration, everything. It is overpowering. And I am scared that someday, if this keeps up, I'll end up doing something I regret.
And since it was about this time last year that the EA started, I know these triggers will only be getting worse as I watch the dates progress to when the PA started, and when this or that happened. I am now to the point where I almost regret knowing so much. I don't even know if it would have been better to let my imagination ran rampant than know the truth.
Today, I had to come home early after I had a very bad one at work.
I got an email with a little graphic attachment to it.
Reminded me of when my wife and OM would send emails and include pictures, and that set me off. That stupid email set me off. At work! And I could barely control myself. Had to take the rest of the day off. Took me an hour to cool down once I got home.
How do I deal with these triggers? The anger and frustration, everything. It is overpowering. And I am scared that someday, if this keeps up, I'll end up doing something I regret.