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Hi,

I have a problem. I am married a couple of years back and have a kid. I have been watching porn regularly since 10 years and haven't been able to giveup on it yet. Nut I watch when I am alone inside a room or in a public computer cafe.

My wife doesn't know this but maybe she doubts me. However, we don;t talk about it at all and I have somehow continued watching it especially at night.


When my wife is not around at home and has gone to visit her parents, sometimes it's about a month, I watch too much porn every night and even masturbate heavily. It is so bad that I imagine those porn stars when I am having sex with my wife.

I have been feeling guilty always though immediately after committing the crime and many times I have even told myself and cursed myself to be a bad rapist(I am literally not so it is just a feeling I get when I am guilty) and sometimes after this feeling of guilt, I give and resort to prayer and office work and my family for about 2-3 weeks and sometimes a month but again when my wife is not around, I take advantage and fall prey to my porn addiction.

I am really feeling a lot of guilt about it now that I have a daughter 1 year old and want to seriously and soon giveup the habit. Plz help me. I am not a partygoes nor am I a loner, I am just a regular professional work guy who has this bad habit somehow since adolescence.

Plz help.
 

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My H quit watching porn (as far as I know) by putting sight blockers on his computer and phone. We also don't watch TV or any sexual movies.
 

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I'm sorry to hear that. It's an addiction like many others. I don't think porn is such a problem unless it interferes with your life negatively which feeling guilty does and also I bet you do not have sex with your wife as often as you would if you were not addicted to porn.

I may think what I have to say is useless to your situation but I'll tell you what made me stop watching porn so much. I still will once in a while but I don't feel guilty about it or that it's out of control.

So I had watched porn regularly for years. It was pretty easy for it to not cause problems since me and my wife pretty much has sex on weekends and not through the week so Monday-Friday were candidates if I wanted to watch. Well due to unrelated (I think) problems like keeping secrets, living semi separate lives, etc our marriage was starting to weaken. Anyway I did a lot of research about how to get that in-love feeling back in a relationship. One of the best things I found was The Love Bank . Anyway we opened up, learned a lot about things we were not doing and sure enough it helped. I do better at giving her what she needs and she is now pretty much ready for lovin any time I am. I really have had no desire to look at porn lately and by lately I only mean for the last couple of months. But I do definitely still like to watch a movie with my wife but just not by myself.

Like I said this may be useless information to you but the bottom line is I want to have sex with my wife now and I do not want to watch porn by myself and she wants to please me now and this is all because we figured out how to make our relationship more intimate. I hope this last forever because it's head and shoulders better what we had before which was actually pretty good even then.
 

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Look up the effects of porn and how it effects marriages.

If you haven't already, you might want to seek out a therapist that specializes in sexual/porn addictions. Then check out some local 12 step programs for SA.
 

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I would suspect that there are a lot of men like you. Just about every guy I know watches porn daily. I commend you for taking steps of addressing the issue though. I hope you find the help you need. Good luck.
 
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