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I read these forums almost daily, and was hoping you all could answer my question.

I know that men really want to feel desired by their wives, so that's how I've been trying to approach intimacy now (so I initiate more myself).

Along those lines, would you rather have your wife tell you:

I want you

or

I need you


This is probably a pretty small thing, but if one of them is even a slightly bigger turn on, it's also a small thing to adjust.

(I don't want to ask my husband himself because I don't want anything I doing to seem too calculated)

Thank you
 

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How about 'I want you...ohhhh...I need you baby...Ohhhhh... I need you NOW'

Yeah, that might work :D
 

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I read these forums almost daily, and was hoping you all could answer my question.

I know that men really want to feel desired by their wives, so that's how I've been trying to approach intimacy now (so I initiate more myself).

Along those lines, would you rather have your wife tell you:

I want you

or

I need you


This is probably a pretty small thing, but if one of them is even a slightly bigger turn on, it's also a small thing to adjust.

(I don't want to ask my husband himself because I don't want anything I doing to seem too calculated)

Thank you
Tell him you want a threesome..:rofl::rofl:lol that is a bad joke.:scratchhead::( Honestly say both but in different settings. I know I like to feel desired. Before sex it would be great to hear I want you. Cuddle time tell him you need him. Lets face it, every move has to be calculated that gives it more effect. JMO
 

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Need. It's more urgent, and I would prefer that word (need) if we were in person.

Now if we're talking on the phone or texting and I'm at work or something, then want is better, because it communicates that you desire me at that moment but doesn't put any pressure on.


Edited to add: I WANT the ducks to get their azzes kicked this weekend. But I think I NEED to adjust my expectations. :(
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I get that it seems like over-thinking

but considering the whole thing is sort of a (happily performed) act on my part...I figure why not make it as satisfactory as possible.

"God is in the details" right?

I thought need might sound better in person too.


@ WorkingonMe:I hope you're thoroughly disappointed this weekend, :)

although even if Oregon wins out and plays for the title...I'm not sure how well they could hang with Bama

(hopefully I'm underestimating them)
 

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It depends on what the meaning of the word is, is.

need. want. tom-ay-to. tom-ah-to.

:rolleyes:

I agree with bribrius here - If you are reading off the script - its just that.... making movies for each other. Stop acting and posing and get busy - like you mean it. You will be glad you did. You should be throwing caution to the wind, not parsing words and trying to figure out what sounds better.

You know what will sound better? Whatever you are feeling - dont put so much pressure on yourself to get it right.

In fact now that you have stated this...calculation... maybe you shouldnt say anything at all. Maybe just reach down his pants, grab a handful, fall into his chest and see what happens.
 

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Well... "I want you".
wow. flashback sorta.

My college girlfriend used to wisper in my ear, so I could feel her hot breath - at the most inopportune times (when we were talking with someone, or at a social event... usually sometime when I was powerless to act).. 'I want you in me'.

yikes. Never failed to get my attention bigtime. In fact, it just never failed in any respect whatsoever. :eek: I think she did it to see how much she could scramble my brain and see how fast she could get me in the sack. It was devestating female jujitsu.
 

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While being vaguely analagous, both terms can have different/separate meanings. At one point or another in the course of my loving relationship with her, I'd greatly love to hear them both come from her lips, but preferably in different situations!
 

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I think be more specific and either one works...and emphasis helps..

"I want you INSIDE ME"

"I NEED you inside me"

"I need you to touch me here"

things like that.....more specific helps me...
 

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ahhh the subtleties of language, sometimes some forethought is good, other times it is not needed.

When it comes to desire and sex I don't think, I just do it, saying things like:
I need you right now.
I want your body next to mine.
My body has to have yours right now.
I desperately want your hands all over me.

All mean the same thing, I just need and want you, you are the man I am crazy about.

When it comes to non sexual things I think it makes a difference:
I want to spend more time with you is better than I need to spend more time with you. The former implies that I like spending time with him, the latter implies that I am feeling needy which is not a positive thing.

As for talking with my SO I am more careful with language:
I never say "we need to talk" as it can be start the conversation in a negative frame of mind.
I have learnt to say "I really want to talk to you". Men are fixers, they want to help so saying you want to talk with him implies that you value his input.

I need to get off this computer and do some jobs but I don't want to.
 

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Any initiating on my wife's part would be a wonderful surprise and a great invitation. But 'I want you' sounds better to me. 'I need you' seems as if it's been too long since the last one.
 

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Any initiating on my wife's part would be a wonderful surprise and a great invitation. But 'I want you' sounds better to me. 'I need you' seems as if it's been too long since the last one.
I can tell him I need him even if it's only been a couple of hours since the last one. But I'm bad like that :D
 

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I NEED my husband for sure.
 

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There is a magic phrase "all about you". It can be used in many ways.

Walk up behind him and wrap your arms around him. Whisper in his ear, "I need you to go take a hot shower and then come to bed. The rest of the night is going to be ALL about you"

Or come up behind him in the bedroom and do the same wrap and whisper: "Please don't move. Except as I ask. "Simon says", raise your arms. And then take his shirt off. Take his belt off, slide pants down, "simon says lift your left leg".

You can leave out the simon says part if you like. Mostly old people like me know that phrase. Once he is naked "Get in bed, the rest of the night is all about you".



I read these forums almost daily, and was hoping you all could answer my question.

I know that men really want to feel desired by their wives, so that's how I've been trying to approach intimacy now (so I initiate more myself).

Along those lines, would you rather have your wife tell you:

I want you

or

I need you


This is probably a pretty small thing, but if one of them is even a slightly bigger turn on, it's also a small thing to adjust.

(I don't want to ask my husband himself because I don't want anything I doing to seem too calculated)

Thank you
 
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