How hard was it for you go back to your BS? Did the guilt and/or fear hold you back? Did you feel you didn't deserve a second chance? Did anything your BS did or said make it easier for you to initiat contact and face them?
My WS is depressed and feels guilty and is unable to face me. I've tried to convince him to come home so we can try and repair our marriage. I'm now back to my180.
I appreciate any feedback posted, thanks.
Chopsy:
I dropped my OW on the spot, when my wife found out about my affair. I always told the OW it was only a sexual fantasy relationship and that if my wife found out, it would be over. We discussed this many times.
When it was over, it was over. I attempted no further contact, was not in a fog, knew what I did was wrong and my only thought was to try to save my marriage.
The fog, IMO, is just an excuse for a spouse that is in the early stages of puppy love.
If it takes any longer than a few weeks for the straying spouse to get his head out of his asshat about this affair, then, it is not a good sign and it is not fair to you.
If he using fear and depression as and excuse that is not good either.
Of course he should be depressed about discovery of the affair, but it shouldn't hold him back from attempting reconciliation.
Something else is going on. You know that. I am glad you are finally angry.