Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 28 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
656 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First off, I apologize if this question is asking for way too much personal info...but for those of you gals that don't mind sharing:

How often, if ever, you orgasm during PIV sex? If/when you do, is there one certain position or technique that does the trick for you? Can you get there without having to provide extra stimulation (hands, vibrator)?

I'm asking because I have an extremely dull and unfulfilling sex life for many reasons. If you've read many of my other threads, you'll see the common theme. So in 19 years of marriage I've never had an orgasm during sex. Never. Not even close. Yes I am capable of having them...just ask my PA partner Mr. Vibrator. (Tongue in cheek guys) I've even tried using the vibe during sex but it just doesn't happen. I suspect it's due to the lack of emotional connection with H. Sex is mechanical and devoid of passion. It's always been that way. As with everything else in my marriage, I've always kept hoping things would get better over time. And as with everything else problematic in my marriage, it hasn't.

But I digress...any tips, tricks, ideas from you lucky ladies that have the big O during sex?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,982 Posts
Check out "Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm" by Nicole Daedone. I had gotten mechanical and devoid of passion and it really helped me, I needed to pay more attention and slow down. NOT expecting we would both O was a big change in my thinking.

BTW she wouldn't read it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
606 Posts
No - I have never ever orgasmed during PIV sex. I've been with my husband for 30 years. Not even close. There's no curve of a heightened. It feels good, just like massaging my shoulders feels good, but it goes nowhere. But I don't despair, because I think it's unusual to have an orgasm from PIV sex. I DO orgasm from oral sex, so I'm happy with that. I bought a g-spot vibrator to try to have an orgasm, but nothing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
298 Posts
Never say never until you have tried it on the bungee sex swing. My wife is about 5% of the time. The first time we used the swing she came about 4 times in 5 minutes and then made me stop. We have since learned to slow it down and move to the couch when it gets to intense. She says it is something about the weightless, bouncing motion that sends her over the edge.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
415 Posts
in 19 years of marriage i have had an orgasm from piv about 3 times and i was highly aroused and it was really frm my clitoris rubbing on his pelvis. two word...unrealistic expectation...for most women to cum from piv alone
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,323 Posts
I had 3 last year, that's a lot for me. I think in my 20's I didn't more than one every few years. I mean from piv not oral. I'm in my mid 30's and I find it hard to catch that O.

I'm always chasing it lol. I just chalked it up to everyone is build differently. I used to have anal orgasms, but a few weeks ago, nothing. Damnit.

It's never been easy, but now it's harder. Thinking about getting that ky jelly for couples. Sometimes I just think self why are you doing this, you love sex....wtf

The answer is a mystery to me too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
202 Posts
Just introduce Mr. Vibrator to H and you 3 can have a great time. To answer your Q's..
I must have a vibe (bullet) and I "get mine" 98 times out of 100: :D
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,104 Posts
I can do it with a pretty high success rate. It was higher when I was younger but still I can do it the majority of the time.

The one thing I have that you don't is sexual chemistry. My husband turns me on just by looking at me. Without that I don't think I could do it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,409 Posts
Guy here, so sorry for the intrusion, but...

My wife has never had an orgasm in our marriage that wasn't from PIV, and she's nearly 100% orgasmic, sometimes multiples. It took us most of the first year of our marriage to figure it out so that I didn't need to assist with a hand, but from then on, it's been nothing but.

Success for us meant learning how to get all of our naughty bits to bump and rub in the right way. Simple thrusting isn't enough.

Take a look into the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) and see if you can't conjure up some way to improve your stimulation during intercourse.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,982 Posts
I can do it with a pretty high success rate. It was higher when I was younger but still I can do it the majority of the time.
Just courious, is it that takes longer or that sometimes it just ain't happening? Mrs P had no trouble when younger but says she is no longer physically up for the length of time it now takes. No worries, we just take care of her first in other ways.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,625 Posts
Another guys view: my wife has an orgasm from PIV just about every time. The trick is simple. I pleasure her orally until she's at the point where she can barely stand it. Then I move up, slide in, and BAM! Fireworks.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
45,137 Posts
Most women cannot orgasm from PIV sex.

The only times I have is when I also self stimulate at the same time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
182 Posts
with STBXH : yes.but that only happened if i took the WOT position.
the BSTBXH era was much better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
116 Posts
Sorry, but I'm probably in the minority here.

I've always been able to orgasm from PIV sex with my husband.

Another problem - at least for him - was that since I could orgasm so easily, it was expected every time. If I was too tired to go through the motions, he would be denied.

I don't care for vibrators - and I've heard it can inhibit an orgasm if you don't always have that stimulation. Not sure if that's correct, but I'm definitely too sensitive for vibrators.
this is how i am... it took me about 2 or 3 years to figure it out, just tring lots of positions, but i can have cl O and V , O sometimes also with female ejac also.... apparently only 10 % of woman can have this so dont beat yourself up
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
177 Posts
Statistics show that 70% of women don't O from PiV.


I am one of the 30%, however, it didn't start that way. I have been married for 18 years and it is better now than before. We work on improving all the time thru exploration.

CAT the coital alignment technique is a good one.

Emotional connection is really a big part of intimacy. Taking time to explore each other like you just met and find all the undiscovered erogenous places can help to increase this bond. Sensual massage is another good one.

Do you have your eyes closed during s*x? If so, try opening them, gaze into your partners eyes.

What are you doing with your hands? Sometimes focusing on your partners chest, stroking it, think about how sexy he is, how powerful..... Being in the moment and really focusing on a feature that you really like can increase the arousal.

I also use this toy Harmony Slim G Vibrator 7-inch - White - DJ0915-04 - A Place For Passion sometimes. It is slim and smooth so it is easy to slip between us. The angle is good for stimulating the areas that I enjoy most.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
268 Posts
in 19 years of marriage i have had an orgasm from piv about 3 times and i was highly aroused and it was really frm my clitoris rubbing on his pelvis. two word...unrealistic expectation...for most women to cum from piv alone
Agree...sometimes unrealistic expectations. Also laughing because guessing Jane smith is a pseudonym but we actually met a Jane smith at a conference (she's nice for what its worth)
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
232 Posts
I'm totally going to get that swing! I have only once. TMI warning..I was on the table on my back and he was standing. That said, I've gotten close on top and with him on his knees and me on my back in front of him. Hope this helps. It's totally emotional for me. If things aren't good relationship wise I can't get there by any method
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
61 Posts
The comment that stands out to me in your post is that 'you use a vibe'.
I own one tho rarely use it, I believe they spoil or desensitise you for having orgasms during sex.
The orgasms I usually have and the ones I want most :) are during piv.
Being really horny beforehand or getting that way during is essential. Two positions do it for me.
Me on top where my clit is rubbing against him and his penis is deep inside hitting against something good in me. That combo gives the most intense mind blowing orgasms for me.
Or missionary where again clit is being rubbed by the combined movement of our bodies and he is inside me.
Orgasms with piv are imo the most intense. A combination of some clit stimulation, the pressure of him being in me and particularly when I'm on top, giving a very intense feeling in my V.
And yes feeling relaxed and having that emotional connection is so important..
Posted via Mobile Device
 
1 - 20 of 28 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top