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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is not a marriage question, but a life after divorce question... Have there ever been any men that you've known for a long time and were firmly in the friend zone, but later in life circumstances changed and you'd consider dating them? And/or if it were just a "friendly date" (but you've never had a one on one friendly date with them before) would you think anything of it, just friends or potential romantic interest?

Obviously I'm asking because it probably relevant to me...
 

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No, I would never change up and have a friend as a partner, ever. I find it much easier to find a date then a friend, I wouldn't ruin my friendship for a relationship, friends are forever..relationships are what they are and I would hate to lose a friend to one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
No, I would never change up and have a friend as a partner, ever. I find it much easier to find a date then a friend, I wouldn't ruin my friendship for a relationship, friends are forever..relationships are what they are and I would hate to lose a friend to one.
Would it be different if it were just an acquaintance you've known for a long time? A friend of a friend that you haven't even stayed in touch with for almost a decade?

I'm wondering because it's not that I think it's jeopardizing a current friendship, but it could be a future friendship. Or it could be more, but I just want to get to know her a little more and enjoy her company at this point. I suppose I'm answering my own questions, and I don't want to overthink anything either.
 

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Hi Lon,
Never say never!
I have a friend who has just gone through a divorce who has recently started dating someone who has been in the friend zone for 10 years and its going well.
Just go with the flow, and as you said, try not to over think it!
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Would it be different if it were just an acquaintance you've known for a long time? A friend of a friend that you haven't even stayed in touch with for almost a decade?
If this is true, then you're not in the friend zone. You're in the aquaintance you don't know that well but might like to know better zone. ;)
 

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My best friend is now dating someone she was friends with for 10 years. Not close mind you but still more a friend than a date.
 

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I would never date a friend, never ever. I love my friends and only have a handful of them. Reguardless of if they were attracted to me or whatever, I just don't feel romantic towards them in any way, shape or form. My friends have been friend zoned for almost 20 years, been completely smashed around them and never once has anything even remotely sexual happened between us. They've always respected my boundaries and never pushed to be more than friends.

Probably helps that as far as I know they've never been attracted to me, and I've never been attracted to them lol. Which is just fine with me :)
 

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A man here.

I had " friend zoned " my wife for five years before we eventually got together.
Today we are happily married.
Those rules don't apply to everyone.

If you are male,there are some simple steps to get oneself out of the dreaded " friendzone."
 

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I have lots of guy friends and they are friend zoned because i will never be interested in dating them for one reason or another. Acquaintances are a while different ball game
 

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I had a good guy friend for several years. We decided to take a trip together as friends and crossed over. I think it could have worked but he wasn't into me that way after all - was swept up in the moment. Now after a breather to move past that, we're back to friends.

I think it's possible - it can be great to be friends first - the trust and camaraderie already exist. Sometimes there just isn't chemistry hence the friend zone. Give it a shot.
 

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I have two close friends that had been friends for over 20 years and never anything romantic between them, after both having families then divorcing, they realized that they were destined to be together and believe that they are experiencing the truest of true loves.

This makes me think that anything in life is possible.
 

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I have two guy friends that I've known for years, and I can't imagine dating either of them. I'll never be able to see them in a romantic light.

Although, I 'friend zoned' my current partner for about six months before we got together, so I guess it just depends on the person/situation.
 

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I was friends with my STBXH for 9 years before we started dating and then got married. Shame. The marriage sucked and I lost a good friend. :(

To this day he says I only went out with him because I was getting over my prior relationship and he shouldn't have gone out with me. I'll be the first to agree with him on that.
 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Well just got back from a very nice evening with my acquaintance, had a very enjoyable time, nice conversation, very comfortable being myself (or as close to for two people just getting to know each other a little), watched a decent movie together, it was exactly what I needed and felt right. We didn't really talk about anything too serious, I don't think I'm firmly planted in the friend zone but I'm sure I have her respect, and above all I am confident she had just as good a time as I did, I look forward to the next chance to spend time with her and I will try not to cling too much to the big smile on my face from just having a really stress-free pleasant "date".

I am glad for you replies on this thread (and the one I had going on the men's clubhouse) because it was a good place for me to spew all kinds of anxious thoughts and just let go out IRL.
 

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If there had been an attraction before 9/10 they are going to end up in a relationship of some sort. The instances in which the friendship remains platonic is when both people never had feelings for each other, of course things can change. However most of these relationships that come from friendships start because curiosity gets to people and in addition they have both liked each other before or still find each other appealing.
 
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