Joined
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110 Posts
Posted this in the Infidelity Forum but may be best placed here....
Not going to post my story, it's too long and I'm not sure if it would make your answers any different since I want the answer from your own perspective and experiences.
I have read 100's of posts on various websites about R. Weeks after R, months, years, decades. And one thing remains with all of the BS. Life does become easier and for the most part many can move on, however, it still hurts like hell. There are still triggers decades later and BS never forget the cruel betrayal inflicted on them. They will always see glimpses of the betrayal and their love/marriage will never be pure again. Forgive yes, forget never.
I do understand this and agree it is totally justifiable to feel this way.
So here is my question, why not just move on then? Why not just leave and find someone who has not done this unthinkable cruel thing to you? Far easier to start over than to try and start over from the ashes of what your WS burned to hell.
Because you love the person that betrayed you or because you loved the person you throught you married?
Don't you want to look at the person you are married to and know that no matter what life threw at you, no matter how bad it got, that your spouse never turned their back on you or the marriage?
God I love my BH so much and I will never quit trying, but I am really struggling with these questions. I will never try to control the outcome and will leave it his decision, but God am I doubting today. Not for me (I'm selfish for asking him to stay with him), but I really wonder deep down in my heart if he would be so much happier starting over.
FWW-42, BH-37
4kids - 2 mine 12 &14, 2 ours 2 & 5
Over year EA/PA
DDay 9/14/12
T-12yrs, M-6yrs
Begging for a second chance.
Not going to post my story, it's too long and I'm not sure if it would make your answers any different since I want the answer from your own perspective and experiences.
I have read 100's of posts on various websites about R. Weeks after R, months, years, decades. And one thing remains with all of the BS. Life does become easier and for the most part many can move on, however, it still hurts like hell. There are still triggers decades later and BS never forget the cruel betrayal inflicted on them. They will always see glimpses of the betrayal and their love/marriage will never be pure again. Forgive yes, forget never.
I do understand this and agree it is totally justifiable to feel this way.
So here is my question, why not just move on then? Why not just leave and find someone who has not done this unthinkable cruel thing to you? Far easier to start over than to try and start over from the ashes of what your WS burned to hell.
Because you love the person that betrayed you or because you loved the person you throught you married?
Don't you want to look at the person you are married to and know that no matter what life threw at you, no matter how bad it got, that your spouse never turned their back on you or the marriage?
God I love my BH so much and I will never quit trying, but I am really struggling with these questions. I will never try to control the outcome and will leave it his decision, but God am I doubting today. Not for me (I'm selfish for asking him to stay with him), but I really wonder deep down in my heart if he would be so much happier starting over.
FWW-42, BH-37
4kids - 2 mine 12 &14, 2 ours 2 & 5
Over year EA/PA
DDay 9/14/12
T-12yrs, M-6yrs
Begging for a second chance.