According to my wife, there's no bigger turnoff than me worrying about if she's enjoying it, whether I'm doing it right, or especially whether or not she cums. She honestly enjoys it most when I just do it living in the moment.
The irony is that all those things i want for it to be good for her are only likely to happen if I'm not specifically focused on them. It is not logical, but it is so. It can be a difficult thing for a Type A, goal oriented, linear thinking man to adapt to.
Because she probably doesn’t want you to do sexual stuff FOR her, she wants you to do it TO her, for YOUR satisfaction.
When you are hungry, do you think much whether the food worries about whether you are chewing it efficiently? (Wow, that came out sexist!). Eat it as if you are starving!
She is self-conscious because you are (and the OP).
One of the most helpful tips my wife ever gave me was: USE me for your pleasure and my pleasure will reveal itself to you!
Don’t know where she comes up with these things....bible?
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