You dont tell us your ages but I suppose you are young. Since you have been to a counselor can you tell us what he said.
It's clear that he's got commitment issues. I had assumed from your first post that he was very young and just needed to mature, but evidently that's not the case. There must be a reason why he is reluctant to fully commit to you. He clearly wants to, but something is holding him back. You need to find out what that is. Has he had a past relationship that hurt him, and so he is wary about going through that again?I am at my breaking point. He says he's sorry he's hurt me, but he continues to do the same things.
Kelly, a marriage counselor would be good for giving advice on how to improve interpersonal communication skills. What you're describing, however, is a problem that seems to go far beyond the lack of such skills. Until your H deals with those deeper underlying issues, which may stem from childhood trauma, seeing a MC likely will be a total waste of time. I therefore suggest that he start seeing a psychologist (i.e., PhD in psychology) for independent counseling (IC).He began seeing a counselor to see if he can figure out and understand his issues. He went twice before inviting me to join him. We have attended together three times.
Come clean about what?Thanks for reading/responding! I guess it would make a lot more sense if we had the excuse of being young. we are 46 & 47. Both divorced with grown children & grandchildren. I had been divorced 16-ish years, him about 5 years. We didn't discuss that with the counselor. The counselor seems to believe that we are just missing each other's love languages. He is Christian,so some focus on a biblical marriage as well. I did tell my husband he has to come clean to the counselor during our next appointment.
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Thanks. Being Christian was included for clarity. There is a specific marriage model and guidelines in the bible. It was mentioned for clarity.What does being Christian have to do with this?
You should never have married this man. Believe him when he tells you he is too broken to love you, because he clearly is.
He's not gay. ....And, I am aware.Could he be gay and not facing it because of his Christian beliefs?
Also, you bring up religion in the first sentence, but they say you moved in together before marriage. That's kind of a "pick and chose" type of Christianity
Quigster;13520306 It's clear that he's got commitment issues. Quigster[/QUOTE said:Thanks. He has said he thought maybe commitment is the issue. He also says he's fully committed. Then again, who would know what to believe with all the mixed messages. I appreciate your response.
Commitment is like being pregnant. A person cannot be almost pregnant, or pregnant on and off depending on the time of day or their current whim. They are pregnant or they are not pregnant. A person is committed or they are not committed.The fact is, we are already married. He is clearly broken. I believe he feels love for me. Giving love consistently seems to be the difficult part.