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Discussion Starter #1
Husband had an emotional affair. Admitted it, then decided it was just a friendship and he hid it because I'd be insecure. We were in this limbo place, supposedly working on it but it was me trying to sort through **** and him moping. He had a business trip recently with OM. For 12 days! I warned his against any non-professional contact. He lied, he went out to dinner with her alone, he never told me, I found out through pictures, long story short, I'm sick of this lying bastard and I want out. I want to prove fault, he has deleted most things with her. I have a few saved, how do I go about doing this? Install spying software on his work computer? Which do you recommend? Hire a private investigator? Suggestions please and no flaming. Thanks.
 

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What phone does he use?
What OS is on his computer (Mac/Windows)
Does he use GMail or some other mail server?
 

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Look up phone records, spyware yes, VAR, and do research on her so you can expose. (Is she married? Etc). Do you have any allies in his office?
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Look up phone records, spyware yes, VAR, and do research on her so you can expose. (Is she married? Etc). Do you have any allies in his office?
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No allies at office. She's divorced. He insists they're friends but he's never his his friendship with a girl before. He also previously admitted having feelings, including sexual ones for her.
 

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Is his iPhone password protected? When he's asleep make a backup of his phone. You can retrieve txts (stored in hidden library) that haven't been overwritten. It's a start.
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No allies at office. She's divorced. He insists they're friends but he's never his his friendship with a girl before. He also previously admitted having feelings, including sexual ones for her.
Right there. You've got your answer. So painful. That biz trip wasn't just a biz trip--it was an opportunity to cheat. If she didn't reciprocate you'd be safe (on her end). If she has feelings for him then biz trip was/is problematic, big time. You need to dig up evidence. Play it cool with him while you do this. Don't show your hand.
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Talk to a lawyer, and find out what kind of "proof" is required, if you're interested in going through the"at fault" route. You can also find out what the cost and benefits will be.

C
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He's already admitted to an EA at the very least. He's lied and continues to see her. He continues to be deceptive. Is there an advantage or reason this isn't enough to initiate divorce - if that's your ultimate goal?

Are you certain the entire 12 days were required? Is it possible the assignment was for 9 / 10 days? Check cc receipts and if possible look at the expense report its probably on his computer.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
He's already admitted to an EA at the very least. He's lied and continues to see her. He continues to be deceptive. Is there an advantage or reason this isn't enough to initiate divorce - if that's your ultimate goal?

Are you certain the entire 12 days were required? Is it possible the assignment was for 9 / 10 days? Check cc receipts and if possible look at the expense report its probably on his computer.
Because I was told it's faster to get an at fault divorce and we won't have to live separately for 6 months before we file for one.
 

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Stop trying to be the one to get proof.

Make him get it and bring it to you.

Tell him he will take a polygraph with you present and his marriage depends on his answers.
 
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