Howdy folks!
I have a very long thread over on the Coping with Infidelity are, but now I'm here and have a different set of questions. Without rehashing too much, here's where I am and you know where I'm going from the title of the thread:
I found out two months ago that my wife and good friend have been having a EA/PA for almost 7 of the 9 and a half years of my marriage. I filed for divorce as soon as I got my wife to admit that.
- I'm in California, so it is a true "no fault" divorce state.
- We have two houses. She lives in that one and wants to stay in that one. I live in the other and want to sell it and move.
- We have no kids, so that makes things easier.
- Other than the mortgages, we have no debt. There's a couple hundred grand of equity in each of the houses.
- We've got several hundred grand of cash/investments to split up.
- She earns just sub $100k and I make two and a half times that. So, but the 50% of my salary minus 40% of hers, I'm going to owe her about $3500 pre-tax every month for the next 4.5 years.
- The OM's GF has left him, and he can't afford to keep his house. He's told common acquaintances of ours that he's getting an apartment. However, I'm quite certain that he'll end up moving in with my STBxW.
Here's where I need your help. If he is co-habitating, how do I prove that and how much am I likely to be able to reduce the spousal support (i.e. is it worth it trying to prove?)
Some parameters - the house she lives in is up a twisty road at the top of a hill, and the driveway can't be seen from the street. So, simple frequent drive-bys are pretty much out of the question.
Since this is all pretty fresh, I imagine that he may actually rent an apartment as a temporary measure so they don't make a public display of living together whether for the benefit of the divorce (getting more spousal support from me) or for their "social" benefit, as if everyone doesn't already know they are together...
Any ideas or advice?
BFF
I have a very long thread over on the Coping with Infidelity are, but now I'm here and have a different set of questions. Without rehashing too much, here's where I am and you know where I'm going from the title of the thread:
I found out two months ago that my wife and good friend have been having a EA/PA for almost 7 of the 9 and a half years of my marriage. I filed for divorce as soon as I got my wife to admit that.
- I'm in California, so it is a true "no fault" divorce state.
- We have two houses. She lives in that one and wants to stay in that one. I live in the other and want to sell it and move.
- We have no kids, so that makes things easier.
- Other than the mortgages, we have no debt. There's a couple hundred grand of equity in each of the houses.
- We've got several hundred grand of cash/investments to split up.
- She earns just sub $100k and I make two and a half times that. So, but the 50% of my salary minus 40% of hers, I'm going to owe her about $3500 pre-tax every month for the next 4.5 years.
- The OM's GF has left him, and he can't afford to keep his house. He's told common acquaintances of ours that he's getting an apartment. However, I'm quite certain that he'll end up moving in with my STBxW.
Here's where I need your help. If he is co-habitating, how do I prove that and how much am I likely to be able to reduce the spousal support (i.e. is it worth it trying to prove?)
Some parameters - the house she lives in is up a twisty road at the top of a hill, and the driveway can't be seen from the street. So, simple frequent drive-bys are pretty much out of the question.
Since this is all pretty fresh, I imagine that he may actually rent an apartment as a temporary measure so they don't make a public display of living together whether for the benefit of the divorce (getting more spousal support from me) or for their "social" benefit, as if everyone doesn't already know they are together...
Any ideas or advice?
BFF
