No I just couldn't.
I don't share my toys very well.
Cool if it works for others though.
I don't share my toys very well.
Cool if it works for others though.
progressive love, is it for you...
A very interesting (and possibly ) discussion about "progressive love." Progressive Love, Is It For You.... - YouTube
Take a listen to this and put your thoughts out here!
The woman is kenya stevens operator of the jujumama blog (http://www.jujumamablog.com/) Her life style is definately outside of the norm!
I'll add more content later, but I have to go to work right now so...
Take a listen to this and put your thoughts out here!
The woman is kenya stevens operator of the jujumama blog (http://www.jujumamablog.com/) Her life style is definately outside of the norm!
I'll add more content later, but I have to go to work right now so...
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I've never tried it but doubt I'd be ok with it. I won't judge those who choose to live this way but I can't see myself taking someone's relationship seriously if they drop that little detail on me.
Self justifying crap... And what is that of an "open marriage"? That's an oxymoron! Call it all you want but that's no marriage in my book. What distinguishes friends with benefits from an "open marriage"?
progressive is just another word for socialist!!
oh wait this isn't the politics forum
oh wait this isn't the politics forum
Didn't watch it but based on what others have written in this thread, it's about open marriage. I'd never go for an open marriage.
For me there has to be something reserved and special that is only for the marriage. If you're going to have feelings/sex with another then you're robbing the marriage of energy that is the point of being married. I agree with Costa, an open marriage isn't a marriage.
I only watched the first 3 minutes but no I couldn't live like that. To each their own, but I can't understand the point of being married if you can have boyfriends/girlfriends outside the marriage. I can't sitting around the dinner table with my husband and his girlfriend.
She posted a few months ago spouting that nonsense. I believe her thread was deleted and she got banned because she tried to tell people that we who think marriage is between TWO people, and not to include LOVERS, were closed minded. Sorry, Open Marriage will not work for me. Like Waiwera said, I don't share my toys. My husband is mine, I am his. NO ONE has a place in it. After reading her posts here before, I won't look at her site.... not without commenting with a vomit smiley, that is.
That's the worst garbage I've seen in a long time. Why would anyone give credence to these clowns??...
Personally, I love her work, we have both her/her husbands books and I think they are spot on. I am also on her forum, get emails from her daily and talk to her occasionally on facebook.
No I just couldn't.
I don't share my toys very well.
Cool if it works for others though.
I've never tried it but doubt I'd be ok with it. I won't judge those who choose to live this way but I can't see myself taking someone's relationship seriously if they drop that little detail on me.
Fairest opinions to date IMO, If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with it or you.I only watched the first 3 minutes but no I couldn't live like that. To each their own, but I can't understand the point of being married if you can have boyfriends/girlfriends outside the marriage. I can't sitting around the dinner table with my husband and his girlfriend.
How do you find it self justifying?Self justifying crap... And what is that of an "open marriage"? That's an oxymoron! Call it all you want but that's no marriage in my book. What distinguishes friends with benefits from an "open marriage"?
I think that its called an open marriage because you should be open about what you are doing instead of sneaking around.
"What distinguishes friends with benefits from an open marriage?"
I think the answer is the same thing that distinguishes friends from your marriage partner.
There's nothing wrong with being progressive OR socialist, so I'm at a slight loss to what exactly you mean. Care to expand or are you just being satirical?progressive is just another word for socialist!!
oh wait this isn't the politics forum
Please watch it before you comment, else how can you constructively add to the discussion?Didn't watch it but based on what others have written in this thread, it's about open marriage. I'd never go for an open marriage.
Interesting opinion to me.For me there has to be something reserved and special that is only for the marriage. If you're going to have feelings/sex with another then you're robbing the marriage of energy that is the point of being married. I agree with Costa, an open marriage isn't a marriage.
"there has to be something reserved and special that is only for the marriage." Why?
And do you mean "an open marriage isn't a marriage" for you, or that it isn't a marriage period?
If the latter,why do you define how the marriages of other people instead of allowing their definition for their own marriage (if applicable)
Its one thing to say that 'something doesn't/cannot/will not work for me' but its another to say 'something is nonsense.'She posted a few months ago spouting that nonsense. I believe her thread was deleted and she got banned because she tried to tell people that we who think marriage is between TWO people, and not to include LOVERS, were closed minded. Sorry, Open Marriage will not work for me. Like Waiwera said, I don't share my toys. My husband is mine, I am his. NO ONE has a place in it. After reading her posts here before, I won't look at her site.... not without commenting with a vomit smiley, that is.
One is stating an opinion the other, judgmental.
Even if the majority of a group share the same judgmental idea, its still a judgmental idea.
Being open minded (in your context you gave) means acknowledging that ideas (that do not originate from you) exist, and being able to think about and consider them, (not that you have to consider choosing that idea) and if someone rejects an idea without thinking about it, then that is being close minded.
It's a shame that thread was deleted though, I would like to have seen it.
keep criticism constructive. On that much at least, they are ahead of you.That's the worst garbage I've seen in a long time. Why would anyone give credence to these clowns??...
I'm sure there is a very small group of people this would work for, but for the vast majority it would not be workable long-term unless the feelings for the spouse are rather ambivalent. Jealousy is a very natural human emotion. I don't see many people who have strong feelings for their spouse being able to tolerate the knowledge that he/she is sharing intimacy with someone else. Just look at how people here freak out just from finding a fairly innocuous text message from their spouse to a "friend."
It's not for me.
It's not for me.
I think that most people think that by saying 'open marriage' that Kenya means that you can go out and screw whomever you want...
which is totally opposite what she actually says.
which is totally opposite what she actually says.
It's ironic to me how so many people have affairs to some degree but will not consider any degree of open marriage.I'm sure there is a very small group of people this would work for, but for the vast majority it would not be workable long-term unless the feelings for the spouse are rather ambivalent. Jealousy is a very natural human emotion. I don't see many people who have strong feelings for their spouse being able to tolerate the knowledge that he/she is sharing intimacy with someone else. Just look at how people here freak out just from finding a fairly innocuous text message from their spouse to a "friend."
It's not for me.
Maybe it is because of jealousy, which is as you say, a very strong natural emotion. Jealousy is also a very selfish emotion, not to be confused with people that have jealousy being selfish, I'm talking about the emotion itself.
I suspect that how people react/respond in this context is a social construction and is not inherent in human behavior.
I've read that in many open marriages, a partner has to get their spouses approval before they engage with a third party.I think that most people think that by saying 'open marriage' that Kendra means that you can go out and screw whomever you want...
which is totally opposite what she actually says.
Even people who have affairs don't want their partner to have one. I don't see that as ironic at all. Just because a person betrays their spouse doesn't mean they want to be betrayed in return.It's ironic to me how so many people have affairs to some degree but will not consider any degree of open marriage.
Maybe it is because of jealousy, which is as you say, a very strong natural emotion. Jealousy is also a very selfish emotion, not to be confused with people that have jealousy being selfish, I'm talking about the emotion itself.
I suspect that how people react/respond in this context is a social construction and is not inherent in human behavior.
The fact that affairs occur in secret tells you that most people know how hurtful and damaging sharing sexual and emotional intimacy with someone outside the marriage will be. Few cheat thinking what they are doing is acceptable. If they did, they would be upfront about it and call it something like "progressive love" or "open marriage." I knew one guy who tried this with a girlfriend years ago. He was all gung-ho when she agreed that they could see other people. As soon as she met another man he was beside himself and it ended up killing the relationship.
I find it shocking that it ever works.
I would rather remain "closed minded" and have sex only with my husband than be considered "open minded" and risk STDs in an open marriage. And yes, as long as there are more partners involved in the sex life, there are more STD risks. Not worth the risk for me.
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What makes you think that you have to have sex with someone else for it to be an open marriage?I would rather remain "closed minded" and have sex only with my husband than be considered "open minded" and risk STDs in an open marriage. And yes, as long as there are more partners involved in the sex life, there are more STD risks. Not worth the risk for me.
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I used to think like this too, but after reading her book, I could see her point totally. An open marriage isn't about having sex with other people, it is about openly talking to your spouse about your feelings instead of going behind your spouse and cheating on them.
close mindedness is not the choices one makes, its the refusal to see that there are choices.I would rather remain "closed minded" and have sex only with my husband than be considered "open minded" and risk STDs in an open marriage. And yes, as long as there are more partners involved in the sex life, there are more STD risks. Not worth the risk for me.
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