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I asm 70 and my wife is 65. When I first met my wife she was 50 and I was 55. Our sex life was very good. Over the years I developed ED and cannot get an erection and my wife has lost all interest in sex. For a few years it was OK, my T level was very low (33) and I was never horny or interested in sex. My estrogen level was higher than my T level. We were basically roommates not husband and wife.

I finally got put on estrogen blockers and T shots and now my T level is near 1000 and I am horny all the time but still unable to have an erection I have the pills which do not work and a vacuum pump which I cannot get to work, so I am frustrated over that.

Yesterday I kind of gave her an ultimatum about trying anything sexual and she told me that she was only interested in sex if I could get an erection and have actual sex otherwise she could care less about sex. She used to masturbate but no longer does. Not sure what I can do now but continue to to watch porn and masturbate (I cannot get hard but I can ejaculate).

I try to pay her attention, I kiss her and rub her back and touch her in intimate ways and I do stuff around the house as much as I can. I also had a cyst on my spinal cord that was finally removed and it helped, I am numb through my groin area. I have spinal stenosis and hope to have major surgery that will fix the numbness. Maybe that will let me have an erection. I do not know. But I can hope.

I am very frustrated and hating life.
 

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Sounds like PIED, porn induced erectile dysfunction. Stop the porn and stop masturbating. Completely and forever. It will come back.
 

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Sounds like PIED, porn induced erectile dysfunction. Stop the porn and stop masturbating. Completely and forever. It will come back.
Did you read the OPs age?
And the OPs medical conditions?

I would suggest the OP gives up on sex and gets a hobby.
At some stage in life you're just too old for your sex organs to work.
 

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There is a product available:
Phoenix Ultrasound Thingie.

That comes with a penis pump.

I have an ultrasound device that came with my TENS unit:
Ultrasound Unit for your unit.

My doctor said it would do the same thing as the Phoenix: increase blood flow to the treated area through angiogenesis.

As for penis pumps, they do work, they can not only help you reverse atrophy but possibly give you an increase in size. Are you, uh, hirsute? Shaving might be necessary to get a good seal.

A **** tie or **** ring can be used to keep that erection in place, once you get it.

Also, do your Kegels! Every day!
 

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sucks, but indeed some women ONLY want PIV sex.
Maybe some of the women here can explain why!
when a man's penis stops getting hard, it is obviously a blow to him. so a lot of men try to compensate by using their fingers, or cunnilingus, sex toys, or other kinky sexual acts that do not require a penis.
when his wife then says something like "i ONLY like sex with a hard penis", that is pretty hurtful! He is trying hard, but then gets hit upside his head with that comment.

And i will bet the OP's wife can still have a fine orgasm by him using other means, and at the time she clearly enjoys it. but a few minutes later it is back to the "I ONLY like sex with a hard penis" way of thinking. See how it can be confusing!
 

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Did you read the OPs age?
And the OPs medical conditions?

I would suggest the OP gives up on sex and gets a hobby.
At some stage in life you're just too old for your sex organs to work.
Statistically, he’s not there yet. Address the most obvious problems first.
 

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Yesterday I kind of gave her an ultimatum about trying anything sexual and she told me that she was only interested in sex if I could get an erection and have actual sex otherwise she could care less about sex. She used to masturbate but no longer does. Not
She says she’s only interested in sex if you can get hard, knowing that you can’t get hard. What does that tell you? Doesn’t sound like she’s interested in sex at all anyway. This way she just gets to blame you. 🙁

If the wanting to have sex is driving you nuts, stop with all the testosterone shots and find a nice hobby. 🤷‍♀️ I bet she misses it when she has nothing sexually that you want anymore. I think you’re blaming yourself way too much. There’s lots of other things you could do to compensate, but she doesn’t want that either. So is this really a ‘you’ problem? Probably not. I feel so bad for you. You’re 70 years old! Don’t be so hard on yourself.
 

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I asm 70 and my wife is 65. When I first met my wife she was 50 and I was 55. Our sex life was very good. Over the years I developed ED and cannot get an erection and my wife has lost all interest in sex. For a few years it was OK, my T level was very low (33) and I was never horny or interested in sex. My estrogen level was higher than my T level. We were basically roommates not husband and wife.

I finally got put on estrogen blockers and T shots and now my T level is near 1000 and I am horny all the time but still unable to have an erection I have the pills which do not work and a vacuum pump which I cannot get to work, so I am frustrated over that.

Yesterday I kind of gave her an ultimatum about trying anything sexual and she told me that she was only interested in sex if I could get an erection and have actual sex otherwise she could care less about sex. She used to masturbate but no longer does. Not sure what I can do now but continue to to watch porn and masturbate (I cannot get hard but I can ejaculate).

I try to pay her attention, I kiss her and rub her back and touch her in intimate ways and I do stuff around the house as much as I can. I also had a cyst on my spinal cord that was finally removed and it helped, I am numb through my groin area. I have spinal stenosis and hope to have major surgery that will fix the numbness. Maybe that will let me have an erection. I do not know. But I can hope.

I am very frustrated and hating life.
Just a little curious why you didn't let sleeping dogs lie so to speak. If the wife was done with sex and your T level so low that you didn't care either, would seem you were both in a good place to coast on out of this life. Have you considered just stopping with the the estrogen blockers and T shots? Your T levels will just naturally drop and you will again arrive in a place where you don't care. And porn wont be an attraction either.

When your T levels were low and estrogen high, did you care if you had an erection? Did your wife care? I think the reason you are frustrated is you got your T levels pumped up thinking that would solve things, but all it did was elevate your drive and make you frustrated because you don't get release.

If your wife will only accept PIV, and you are determined to have that happen then your doctor is going to need to figure out what is wrong and help correct it (if possible). Usually unless you have nerve damage, the ED drugs work if you are aroused, which you say in your head you are. If you have numbness, then maybe the nerve bundle isn't allowing signals to close the valves that cause an erection. And since you are facing back surgery, there is potential for more damage from that.

Honestly, in your shoes would seriously consider stopping the HRT and revert to where things were before you woke the beast.
 

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The only "hobby" you should be taking up is getting your erection back, and that should be your JOB until you can stand outside naked and determine the wind speed & direction.

1. Get a Kegel app for your phone, start doing them every day, short ones, long ones, build up your pelvic floor.
2. Figure out the pumping, You will see results very quickly. "Nerve bundles" don't have ANYTHING to do with pumping, it's all pneumatics. Can you get the pump to grab onto your stomach? Then it's working. You need it to seal, though, so no hair and use something to help it seal, coconut oil, KY. grab your wife's can of Pam & give it a quick shot.
3. Once you get the pumping figured out, if you need a little help for longevity, get a "String Tie" for your pecker:
String Tie 4 Yer Pecker.

Your T is at 1,000! Make it happen!
 

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if you really want to get hard, but every other method no longer workks, you probably need to go see a urologist and get a prescription for a Trimix injection. you will get hard with that!
 

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if you really want to get hard, but every other method no longer workks, you probably need to go see a urologist and get a prescription for a Trimix injection. you will get hard with that!
I remember hearing the guitarist for the band Mountain talking about penile injections maybe 30 years ago on the Howard Stern show. He said they worked great. I don't know if it was Trimix or not, but if it came down to my only option I'd jab myself with a needle.

WAIT! How big IS that needle?
 

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I remember hearing the guitarist for the band Mountain talking about penile injections maybe 30 years ago on the Howard Stern show. He said they worked great. I don't know if it was Trimix or not, but if it came down to my only option I'd jab myself with a needle.

WAIT! How big IS that needle?
it is a thin diameter needle.
but the bad news is it is pretty long, 1 or 1 1/2" long if i remember.
the somewhat good news, the side of the shaft of your penis does not have many nerves, so injecting in the right place goes right thru the side, into the spongy material inside. then thru some chemical magic, the blood flows into that spongy material and you get rock hard.

it is not as bad as it sounds, AND you get to get laid again!
and unless u screw it up, there is almost no pain

really the only problem is if you inject too much liquid, you end up with a six hour erection, and might need to go to the ER to deflate it. Your doctor figures out the EXACT dosage you need to use.

it is relatively cheap too, since it is a mixture of three sterile but common compounds that are not patented. so any pharmacy that is licensed to do these mixtures can provide it. you keep the medicine in the refrigerator.
 

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if you really want to get hard, but every other method no longer workks, you probably need to go see a urologist and get a prescription for a Trimix injection. you will get hard with that!
Yeah, a lot of the urologists around here want to go straight to trimix if viagra or cialis aren't doing the trick. But it isn't a panacea for everyone and in my case wasn't the problem at all. Low T was the problem and HRT solved it. Don't need any PDE5 inhibitor.

The thing I don't know is whether Trimix will work if you have nerve damage, which the OP mentions. And it takes awhile for the dosage to get dialed in. You can do some serious damage injecting incorrectly or too often or with too high of a dose. My first urologist told me Trimix was maximum three times/week usage. And would take a month to arrive at the correct dosage. I left him because he went right to Trimix without even getting any details about what was happening.

The urologist actually needs to diagnose what is causing the problem. I had my prostate removed 2 decades ago, so they usually want to just say, that is the whole problem, get used to it. Blood flow, nerve damage, or endocrine problems. It can even be a Pituitary tumor, Thyroid problems, Drugs being taken for underlying conditions like hypertension, anxiety, or depression. If you look up the side effects for a lot of medications, ED is one of them. Diabetes, Obesity, can also cause ED.

So just injecting Trimix to get hard IMO is a very bad idea. And you have to be a little proactive and careful about just going with what any urologists advise. If they want to write you a prescription for Trimix without doing any testing and diagnosis, find another doctor.
 

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I remember hearing the guitarist for the band Mountain talking about penile injections maybe 30 years ago on the Howard Stern show. He said they worked great. I don't know if it was Trimix or not, but if it came down to my only option I'd jab myself with a needle.

WAIT! How big IS that needle?
I believe Bimix and then Trimix ( there is a Quadramix now too) was originally used by the porn film industry and was the first successful treatment for ED. Cialis and Viagra were originally developed to treat hypertension, and the clinical trials revealed the "side effects" that ended up being their main use.

That is another thing, the doctor has to decide which mix to prescribe, and some people don't tolerate Trimix well. You also have to keep Sudafed on hand in case you stay hard longer than three hours. Otherwise to ER to get the blood drawn off, or you wont need to worry about ED anymore cuz they will need to amputate to treat the gangrene.
 

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The only "hobby" you should be taking up is getting your erection back, and that should be your JOB until you can stand outside naked and determine the wind speed & direction.

1. Get a Kegel app for your phone, start doing them every day, short ones, long ones, build up your pelvic floor.
2. Figure out the pumping, You will see results very quickly. "Nerve bundles" don't have ANYTHING to do with pumping, it's all pneumatics. Can you get the pump to grab onto your stomach? Then it's working. You need it to seal, though, so no hair and use something to help it seal, coconut oil, KY. grab your wife's can of Pam & give it a quick shot.
3. Once you get the pumping figured out, if you need a little help for longevity, get a "String Tie" for your pecker:
String Tie 4 Yer Pecker.

Your T is at 1,000! Make it happen!
It's 4:30 am and this descriptor has me laughing like a hyena.🤣
 
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