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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my mother in-law use to assault me and even bit me when i was pregnant and I spent a night in the clinic due to her violence till I complained to the police. i didn't go through with the complain to avoid more problems especially after the promise of my husband that she will not come to my house to torture me and we agreed that if he misses her and want to invite her I will spend those days in a hotel with my new born son to be safe from her till she leaves. unfortunately these days he told me that she s coming again and he will not pay for the hotel as he promised.
please tell me what to do I m terrified for my life and my son
thank you
 

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This sounds like a very cultural thing. In some cultures it is very common for a MIL (mother in law) to abuse her DIL. What culture & country are you in so that we have a better idea of how to advise you.

Do you work outside the home?

Do you have family or close friends nearby?


Your MIL should be the one put up in a hotel room. You husband can visit her there.

Can you tell him that she is not allowed in your home?

If you have to stay in your home with the abusive MIL, have a phone nearby and call the police if she abuses you. Then press charges. Since your husband is not going back on his promises, if you can go back and press charges for when she bit you.

Have an exit plan… money put aside so you can take care of you and your baby. Have a bag of clothing and things packed so that you are ready to do in a moment’s notice. Get in touch with a center for abused women. Let them know what is going on. If you have nowhere else to go, set it up that if she abuses you, you will call them and they will come get you and put you in a safe home.

If you have money go get your own hotel room. If you have family or friends see if you can stay with them until your MIL leaves.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you for the reply "EleGirl"
we are Arabic family living in New York and I m in USA for less than 2 years and have no money and no friend or family around just my husband. to be honest with you just being with her in the same house is terrorizing me and I cant wait till she abuses me again, on the other hand I cant rush I press charges before she does anything yet it makes me look like a bad person. I want to keep my family but I want to be safe.
 

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I don't understand the culture, but if what your husband says goes... Then be prepared to bite back or call the cops.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you "LdyVenus"
my husband understand the consequences and he knows I m right but when he talks to her even just over the phone he goes blind and does everything she says no matter if it s right or wrong.
 

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Thanks for letting us know your culture. Part of may family is from the Middle East as well so I have an idea of what you are dealing with.

Since you live in NY there are resources available to you. Are you in NYC or a smaller town?

I will look for some resources for you. will be back. If I know the town it would be easier but I can probably find something that can help.

Your English is very good so that will be of great help.
 

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Are you Muslim? I know that not all Arabs are Muslim but I started to look at domestic violence resourses for women in NY. Here are some that I found.

Muslim Mental Health - Message about Domestic Violence

Turning Point | A community based, non-profit organization addressing the needs of Muslim women and children

Not knowing what part of NY you live in makes it harder. But if you do not want to share your town here... you could call the number in these web sites and they would point you to a place that could help.

While it's your MIL and not your husband who assaults you, it's still considered domestic violence.
 
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