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I just got married last year and I was 18 so ya bad decision off the bat but I loved the guy and still do. It was great for half the year but then I started missing my family and friends so bad and just being able to do things on my own. I've always been independent and never had a serious relationship until this. I don't know why I even got married, maybe to get away from my home life. But now I try to work as much as I can and be with friends and family as much as I can too just so I'm not miserable and making my husband miserable. But we still have our good moments but I don't know if those good moments are enough to hang onto
 

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But we still have our good moments but I don't know if those good moments are enough to hang onto
im 26 and i ask myself the same questions. you're going to ask yourself those same questions whether you are married at 18 or 30. it just gets hard and you'll wonder what the point of staying is. that happens to everyone no matter their age or experience.

but the point is you made a promise. so you have to make up your mind. you cant live in the gray of "maybe i do" and "maybe i dont". if you live in the gray you will make decisions that hurt the marriage. so you have to make up your mind. either you are all in, or you're out.

as long as the relationship isnt physically abusive and neither of you have had an affair, then i think you need to do what you promised to do. it doesnt get easy just because you get older. it gets easy because you work through all the hard times and find a solution to the problem. it doesnt get easier by running from your problems.
 

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you say you might have married to get away from your home life

people marry to either run towards one another or run away from another situation

you need to seriously explore why you married, but, repsectfully, i'm not sure you're emotionally mature enough to do that.

your post does reflect a person who married far too prematurely, (bet you thought i was going to say 'young') but that doesn't mean it won't all work in the end.

because even though you may have married young, and even though you may not have the maturity to properly examine why you married,

you do exhibit the maturity to ask the right questions, your heart is in the right place,

and you strike me as a woman committed to doing what's right and best for you and your new husband.

but...what you were escaping from in your childhood home... that is the question to launch your new journey into adulthood.

it aint easter but still:bunny::bunny::bunny:
 

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I got married when I was 20, and it is hard the first year or two when you are so young, but that doesn't mean it won't work. I was actually a committment-phobe all throughout high school, so it shocked my parents that I was calling to tell them I was getting married LOL.

On a better note, marriage isn't all cupcakes and kittens in the beggining. You are both learning to live together, both learning to adjust. Once the excitement of "new" wears off, it can get a little down and many people ask themselves that same question. Honestly, I would talk to your spouse about it and see if maybe you guys can make a couple of "traditions" with each other to keep you focused on good times to come. It can be something silly, like a walk together in the evenings to scheduling a weekly date night, etc. It is perfectly okay to miss your family and maybe you can both talk about visiting with them every so often, but keep in mind that means he will probably want to set a time to go see his as well! Best of luck honey!
 

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Do you think you're just having a tough time transitioning? When I moved in with my H, the first year was hard ... I was so used to my space and living with someone else was tough, taking care of a household, negotiating the little things.

From your post, I don't think that's it though. Otherwise, you'd be complaining about where he leaves his shoes and more mundane things. What you are saying is "I don't know why I got married", "I'm not ready to do this".

The above posts say "you made a promise, so work at it". I say GET OUT OF THERE!!! Just because time passes, it won't make this right for you. It shouldn't be wrong 6 months in. You are very young, so it's understandable why you would make such a mistake, especially if you had a home life you wanted to get away from or you desperately wanted to "grown-up." Now you see being grown-up isn't all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes it's better to deal with the annoying rules of parents than to be out on your own keeping house and dealing with adult life.

If you are confused, I highly recommend you see a counselor to talk about whether you should stay or leave this marriage (note: keep a close eye out for bias on the part of the counselor ... once you are already married, many therapists are invested in just keeping you married ... the sanctity of marriage and all). But you are too young to get stuck in this if it's not right for you.

You do NOT want to be turning 30, 40 years old and wondering where your youth went feeling stuck in a mistake. It seems like the end of the world now, but if you leave, this too shall pass and everyone will get over it. So DO NOT stay out of fear or a sense of duty.

Also, don't get pregnant by this man until you know if you're going to stay forever. You don't want to be in that situation.

Anyway, I'm not trying to say you should leave your marriage, but I am trying to say that IT'S OKAY if that's what you want and need to do. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake and hanging around wasting your life away won't make it any less of a mistake.

However, if it's just an adjustment period, then hang in there. You'll get used to your husband being around all the time soon enough.
 

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I agree in essence with MsLady, but you shouldn't run immediately from the problem just because the "honeymoon" is over. You may have married too soon, you may have jumped in and really miss your old life/family. Its time to face it. You need talk someone, preferably professional, who can honestly and wisely guide you through this decision.

I marriage young too at 21, and although I still feel that I missed out on some things, I love my husband so much. We both have HUGE problems with boundaries and priorities...but being married is one of the HARDEST things you will ever do in life. Its up there with being a parent (which I have yet to experience)...the key is...making sure you 1. don't stay in something that you will regret later in life, and 2. make sure you walk slowly and thoughtfully toward that decision to stay or go.

Don't confuse your current emotions and homesickness with the truth and how you really think. Take some time for yourself...set some good boundaries with you new husband and above all keep communicating with him about your fears/homesickness and desires for the future.

As long as there is no abuse/cheating going on...you need to wait...seek help (with or without him) and make sure you in the end make the right decision.
 

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I too married at 18. Talk to your husband about your fears & explain how you feel. Chances are good he's feeling the same way. Marraige doesn't mean your life is over it means you have someone else who cares about you & wants to make you happy. I'm sure lots of people are unsure at first because everything is new. Good luck to you.
 

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I was also young when I got married the first time. It didn't last. Seven years later we divorced. There were many problems in that marriage, such as infidelity, constant lying, he was an alcoholic and mentally and physically abusive. He remarried a month after our divorce was final and he continued the exact same behavior with his second wife. He died this year as a direct result of all his years of destructive behavior.

I am not saying that a person shouldn't marry at a young age, as I believe it is entirely possible to succeed with the right person. Good luck to you!
 

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one of the previous post hit it right on the head... "communicate" this is the key to any happy home and successful marriage... mine is failing i think, due to my wifes inability to comunicate with me... or my inability to grasp the little "hints" (her words) she was giving (ok side note... don't do hints... hints are hard to pick up on and cause you more pain then a blunt argument would. and un likke an argument.. nothing gets solved when the 'hint' fails to be noticed) sorry rant off...

any ways, my point is, talk to him... just like humangirl said "you have someone else who cares about you & wants to make you happy." so try to use them, they should want you too.

i got married yung... yes "prematurely" ;) but i truely believe that with out the lack of communication and with out my wife's depresion we would have been fine.
 
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