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I'm not sure your husband is that smart... he knows you check his location and when you ask him about his whereabouts he lies about it, knowing that you probably know where he was? This puzzles me...
 

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I'm not sure your husband is that smart... he knows you check his location and when you ask him about his whereabouts he lies about it, knowing that you probably know where he was? This puzzles me...
I don’t think it’s that puzzling really, at least not to me.
It’s pretty standard for cheaters to boldly lie even in the face of hard evidence.
And, as we’ve seen in this thread, blaming google location issues is both reasonable and believable.

If OP is codependent with medical issues as mentioned, then WH may fear no retribution in telling her anything he wants her to believe. He thinks she will just go away and stop bothering him eventually, just like the first time. Because he thinks… what choice does she have?
 

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I've looked through the house and even a little in his office, but haven't found a second phone.
Doubtful that he would need one. There are apps that can act as another phone. Some even auto delete messages after a certain amount of time. They could also just be on something else that's untraceable through phone records, such as facebook messenger. There are way too many ways to hide things. A professional might just be your best bet.
 

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I am sick to my stomach writing this. I think my husband is up to something, and if he is, he's very very underground. I am one of those people that needs to have actual proof. I am really trying to get myself out of denial, I'm so, so scared. I'm older and don't have much of a career or family, so due to my situation, I want to be 100% sure before I leave.

Yesterday he said he had a business meeting at a off-site location in the afternoon. I checked his phone's Google location at 3:30 it looked like it was in the parking lot of his office. Same at 4:00, and 4:30. Finally at 5:30 it showed up at the business meeting location.

He came home and told me about his meeting. He told me it was long and he'd been there since 3:30. I replied, "Wow, that's a long meeting! You were there that whole time? Since 3:30? "
He says yes he was.

Today I check the Google timeline on his phone for yesterday. It shows the same thing it did yesterday. It looks like he left his office at 5:15 to drive to the meeting location, and arrived at 5:22. I don't know what he was doing between 3:30 and 5:15. Highly doubt he was sitting in the parking lot though. :confused:

He did cheat on me many years ago, and thought we'd recovered, he's been in therapy, and seems like he was okay until recently - the spidey senses are going off again. Back then I did everything wrong about confronting him. He knows I check his phone. He is extremely smart and wary. I can't emphasize that enough. If something is happening, I would guess he makes all his calls from his office phone, leaves his phone in his car in the parking lot, possibly takes an Uber to meet up with someone.

I don't know where to start. His cell phone is completely clean, and he knows I have checked his location on Google, even though I told him I don't do that anymore. He's no dummy. He has his own private office and flexible working hours. I've thought about a car tracker, but if he is using uber or something, that won't work. Is hoverwatch still a thing?

Basically I just am wondering what I can do before I go hire a private investigator. And how I can be as smart about this as possible. I'm so frightened and scared.

Thank you.
Is it possible he went to the office to do some pre meeting work, review documents, etc?
 

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I am sick to my stomach writing this. I think my husband is up to something, and if he is, he's very very underground. I am one of those people that needs to have actual proof. I am really trying to get myself out of denial, I'm so, so scared. I'm older and don't have much of a career or family, so due to my situation, I want to be 100% sure before I leave.

Yesterday he said he had a business meeting at a off-site location in the afternoon. I checked his phone's Google location at 3:30 it looked like it was in the parking lot of his office. Same at 4:00, and 4:30. Finally at 5:30 it showed up at the business meeting location.

He came home and told me about his meeting. He told me it was long and he'd been there since 3:30. I replied, "Wow, that's a long meeting! You were there that whole time? Since 3:30? "
He says yes he was.

Today I check the Google timeline on his phone for yesterday. It shows the same thing it did yesterday. It looks like he left his office at 5:15 to drive to the meeting location, and arrived at 5:22. I don't know what he was doing between 3:30 and 5:15. Highly doubt he was sitting in the parking lot though. :confused:

He did cheat on me many years ago, and thought we'd recovered, he's been in therapy, and seems like he was okay until recently - the spidey senses are going off again. Back then I did everything wrong about confronting him. He knows I check his phone. He is extremely smart and wary. I can't emphasize that enough. If something is happening, I would guess he makes all his calls from his office phone, leaves his phone in his car in the parking lot, possibly takes an Uber to meet up with someone.

I don't know where to start. His cell phone is completely clean, and he knows I have checked his location on Google, even though I told him I don't do that anymore. He's no dummy. He has his own private office and flexible working hours. I've thought about a car tracker, but if he is using uber or something, that won't work. Is hoverwatch still a thing?

Basically I just am wondering what I can do before I go hire a private investigator. And how I can be as smart about this as possible. I'm so frightened and scared.

Thank you.
Someone that savvy requires surveillance/PI...not sure of the laws where you are regarding recordings, but you can get a VAR and secure beneath his seat (if you know someone who is extra skilled/savvy, you can have them assist on installation) ...ie install it securely so as not to be discovered.

I'm sorry, hun.
 

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Ok, how did you get into his office to search around? I have never seen any business that would just let a spouse in to search their spouses office. Assuming this is true, he absolutely knows that you did this.

Also, do you think it's possible that you are letting your thoughts get to your head? A 2 hour or more business meeting is not unrealistic. Many of those meetings are empty suits just babbling about nothing lol. I myself have to attend lunch meetings with female coworkers that often last well over an hour. Other than small talk, it's mainly business.

My advice is that unless you have something much more concrete like unexplained hotel room charges, pair of panties, lipstick stains on him, etc. Don't let these speculative assumptions fester and ruin the relationship with accusations.
When I listened to this kind of advice, I wasted years of my life. My ExH was just able to eat cake longer...
There are ways to dig without showing her hand...her peace of mind would better benefit the marriage.
 

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When I listened to this kind of advice, I wasted years of my life. My ExH was just able to eat cake longer...
There are ways to dig without showing her hand...her peace of mind would better benefit the marriage.
What is the point of being in a relationship with someone if you are having to investigate them behind their back? That to me defeats all of the fun and benefits of being in that relationship. But I believe that everyone deserves to find and have someone they love, loves them back, and they can fully trust each other.
 

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What is the point of being in a relationship with someone if you are having to investigate them behind their back? That to me defeats all of the fun and benefits of being in that relationship. But I believe that everyone deserves to find and have someone they love, loves them back, and they can fully trust each other.
The point is that everyone decides for themselves what constitutes a relationship to them. Something shady? See if there's fire with that smoke... All clear? Go about life and not worry. There's fire? You can make decisions where to go from there...

That trust thing can be a bunch of bullcrap if it means just sticking your head in the sand...
 

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how about sitting down and talking with your husband? No snooping. Ask him.
This would work with a decent man who has no history of cheating. Unfortunately, this approach rarely works with men ( or women) married to people who come on this site.
 
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