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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I've made a few posts here, and I'm sure you guys are tired of seeing me in this section. But yesterday, she said she thinks we should get a divorce, and I think there may be another person involved.

Some cheater signs she has been displaying.

-Distant
-Mean
-Cusses at me a lot
-Gets mad when I ask what shes doing / where shes at
-Has her marriage setting on facebook set to where ONLY I can see. IE, to anyone else, there is nothing there.
-Says she thinks we should get a divorce
-Frequent hanging out with this girl from her new serving job
-Saw her actively on skype at 3 AM, asked her what she was doing, she got mad, said it was just 'logged on'. Though she answered immediately. She hasn't been on skype since. I checked her emails (she does not know I have access to her emails, and that following day, she made an account on ooVoo (Just like skype) and there is 1 person, a guy. I asked her about the guy, (though I didn't reveal my sources, or knowledge of email / oovoo) because she also recently added him on facebook, and she said he was an old family friend.
-She has added 5-6 new guys on facebook, yet hasn't added this girl 'katie' that she frequently hangs out with.
-Hangs out with 'katie' atleast 4-5 times a week.
-I am deployed. There isn't much I can do, though I return in a couple days.
-Ignores me. Gets mad at me, over literally anything.
-Went to the club last weekend in Atlanta (We are in Columbus, GA)
-Promised not to speak to this guy, multiple times within our 3 year relationship. Broken that promise again, as of recent, once I found out she had a new social media site, and he was on it. She says she deleted that new social media site.


These are just some things that came to mind.
These look a lot like common signs of infidelity. (Hiding things, not caring about promises. Adding lots of guys. Easily angered / ignores.)
 

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Red Flag City. Sorry to hear that. What do you plan on doing about it exactly?
 

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Know what I just read your other thread. There were red flags before the marriage. You need to just divorce her.

She doesn't sound like she was ready for marriage to begin with and you haven't really given any reasons (that I'm aware of) of why you want to stay with her or why she's worth it anyway.

Based on your posts she sounds self-centered, immature, and apparently has little to no respect for you on top of that.
 
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Definitely cheating, out hooking up. Just with those things you list and taking 'katie' and the men out of the equation, she is not interested in you or the marriage. She wants out. Coupled with the going out red flags, absolutely cheating. Sorry.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
See that's the thing. I say the same thing. Everything she does points toward cheating, and for every single thing she has some 'logical excuse', and maintains her innocence, while calling me crazy and controlling and non trust worthy. The thing that really did it for me, was finding the new video chat account made that day, with 1 friend, the guy.
 

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Gaslighting.

Look up the term.

She is a piece of crap that does not deserve you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yeah...she is definitely gaslighting me.

Unless she is truly innocent, and I am just crazy.

I don't know. All signs point towards infidelity.
She swears up and down that I am crazy though.
But, my GUT tells me I am right, along with 100% of TAM.
 

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Yeah...she is definitely gaslighting me.

Unless she is truly innocent, and I am just crazy.

I don't know. All signs point towards infidelity.
She swears up and down that I am crazy though.
But, my GUT tells me I am right, along with 100% of TAM.
Until you have the evidence that says without a doubt they are
Cheating they will lie lie deny !! Listen to your gut
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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You deserve a woman who loves and honors you. Don't die a death by a thousand cuts. No kids, end it quick and leave her in the rear view mirror. Lots of good women would be thrilled to call you her man.
 

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Sorry you are here. Yep I would put big money on her having an A. If you want hard proof, VAR in her car, keylogger on the home computer. I would bet not more then two days and you would know everything.

Then you have to decide what do I do?
 

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See that's the thing. I say the same thing. Everything she does points toward cheating, and for every single thing she has some 'logical excuse', and maintains her innocence, while calling me crazy and controlling and non trust worthy. The thing that really did it for me, was finding the new video chat account made that day, with 1 friend, the guy.
It is crazy town isn't it? First off, trust your gut. Secondly, you describe some boundaries she is crossing especially the last one with the video chat account. You don't need proof of an affair just knowledge that she is violating your limits.
 

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Typical "disconnect with spouse~ reconnect with OM strategy." Greatly like myself, these are some of the very same signs that my STBXW displayed, although she displayed very few of them as she clandestinely chose to take her cheating undercover, all while I was still in an ignorant state of bliss as she was fastidiously playing me like "a harp from hell!"

All of those signs were more than red flags to you! Move on, Sir~ there's something more worthwhile awaiting you in this world rather than mulling over the possiblity of R while attempting to make things right with a cheater and a liar!

Sorry to see you here at TAM, but you've definitely come to the right place! It's a site where an experienced and loving group of patrons will lend you a shoulder in your time of trouble, but conversely will kick your backside when it needs it as well!
 

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So, I've made a few posts here, and I'm sure you guys are tired of seeing me in this section. But yesterday, she said she thinks we should get a divorce, and I think there may be another person involved.

Some cheater signs she has been displaying.

-Distant
-Mean
-Cusses at me a lot
-Gets mad when I ask what shes doing / where shes at
-Has her marriage setting on facebook set to where ONLY I can see. IE, to anyone else, there is nothing there.
-Says she thinks we should get a divorce
-Frequent hanging out with this girl from her new serving job
-Saw her actively on skype at 3 AM, asked her what she was doing, she got mad, said it was just 'logged on'. Though she answered immediately. She hasn't been on skype since. I checked her emails (she does not know I have access to her emails, and that following day, she made an account on ooVoo (Just like skype) and there is 1 person, a guy. I asked her about the guy, (though I didn't reveal my sources, or knowledge of email / oovoo) because she also recently added him on facebook, and she said he was an old family friend.
-She has added 5-6 new guys on facebook, yet hasn't added this girl 'katie' that she frequently hangs out with.
-Hangs out with 'katie' atleast 4-5 times a week.
-I am deployed. There isn't much I can do, though I return in a couple days.
-Ignores me. Gets mad at me, over literally anything.
-Went to the club last weekend in Atlanta (We are in Columbus, GA)
-Promised not to speak to this guy, multiple times within our 3 year relationship. Broken that promise again, as of recent, once I found out she had a new social media site, and he was on it. She says she deleted that new social media site.


These are just some things that came to mind.
These look a lot like common signs of infidelity. (Hiding things, not caring about promises. Adding lots of guys. Easily angered / ignores.)
Being a waitress is deadly. There's something very illicit, very immature, very dirty, very dangerous about that ****ing industry. I hate it and the people it attracts.

It's poison, and the most fertile ground for whoring around you can imagine.

She's cheating, btw.
 
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