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Hello Everyone,

I have been married twice and still have one common problem linking them both. I am married and I am still addicted to porn. I have been married to this woman since May 2014 and we've been together since May 2013.
I want to quit but I keep failing at it. My current marriage is sexless because I don't feel the need for intimacy or sex because of pornography. When I am able to rack up a week or two without it, my attraction starts to come back for my wife, sex and intimacy. So I know porn is the problem and I don't want anything to do with it anymore but I can't seem to find a good strategy to quit. I know this is a HOT TOPIC. I am starting this to discuss Pornography and It's effects on marriage and How men or even women can build a strategy to quit it before it ends everything we hold dear in our life because it will. Hopefully I will make some friends on here to help hold me accountable and nip this addiction for good.

Oh...and might I also add that I am 26 years old and have erectile dysfunction, I have tried both cialis and viagra for it which hasn't seemed to work. I also am on 2 blood pressure medications which my dr says wont effect it but I am not so sold on that because I've literally tried everything and it's so humiliating, debilitating, and frustrating to lose an erection during sex (when we do have sex) so this is probably why I turn to porn so much. It may even be porn induced ED because I have been addicted to it for many many years.
 

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I didn't even post, just opened the thread. Forum says he is a member that joined yesterday but won't let me message him.

As a recovered porn adict I was hoping to help.

Ray
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Well, I'll jump in!!

Does porn ruin marriages...yes and no. If either spouse is more in to porn than they are into their spouse then yes it probably is a parasitic marriage killer.

But porn can actually HELP a marriage...if one is HD and the other LD watching some porn together will get the other 'going'.

If you decide to watch porn you know what to expect...people having sex....its a visual thing...you might think 'ugh, disgusting'...but you'll have sexy thoughts. So just as viagra can help a guy get hard so can porn help get both turned on.

Time and place I guess.

Now the OP will come back and complete his post; 'Porn "The Parasitic Marriage/Sex Life Killer" - has anyone read it?

Hahahahaha!
 

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I've been there and done that. Your gonna have to want to beat this with everything you have and then some.

Message me if you'd like to talk or want help

Ray
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While I have nothing against porn and have watched it with partners from time to time, I do feel that the fact that my husband has learned what he knows about sex from porn. On the odd occasions that we do have sex, it is very porn style. There is no emotion involved, never any tenderness or gentleness, just a good hard thumping with porn style dirty talk. While I don't mind this now and again, it would help if I could get turned on before we started (my H's idea of foreplay is to start manhandling my crotch area very vigorously). We tend to have sex in uncomfortable positions that are obviously designed to let a camera get in there! Most of the time if I'm on my back, he likes to stretch my legs up alongside my shoulders (with knees straight which is a bit of a killer) and pound away. He's also very LD and it seems that this type of sex is the only way he gets turned on, but it does very little for me at all. I long for a more sophisticated sex life that would involve different types and moods for sex, rather than this pounding every time. We haven't had sex for nearly 6 weeks now and I'm reaching the desperate stage again. But I've decided that the next time he wants sex, I really can't be bothered. It's bad enough that he's so LD, but the fact that when we do have sex it's crap has now left me uninterested in having sex with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely desperate for sex, but I want it to be good when I get it.
 

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I thought there was something the equivalent of sex addicts anonymous groups which deal with sex and porn addiction.

Isn't this the best way to deal with this issue.

You almost never can break any addiction by yourself.

you need to save your marriage friend. Get on the phone now and call your nearest group.
 

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If <insert anything> effects YOU and YOUR RELATIONSHIP, you need to change your behavior and fix it.

Simple as that.

Porn...alcohol......food.....weed.......friends.....family......ALL can effect your relationship.....

.....if YOU let it.
 

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I thought there was something the equivalent of sex addicts anonymous groups which deal with sex and porn addiction.

Isn't this the best way to deal with this issue.

You almost never can break any addiction by yourself.

you need to save your marriage friend. Get on the phone now and call your nearest group.
I'm really not much on groups like that. Didn't help me at all. What did help was having someone who I had to be accountable to, and who had been thought it helping me. Even then it was hard. And I had many failures along the way. I'll help him if he wants help.

This forum is really the wrong place to find help for s porn addiction thought. Too many people here are blind to the dangers it can pose to a marriage

Ray
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While I have nothing against porn and have watched it with partners from time to time, I do feel that the fact that my husband has learned what he knows about sex from porn. On the odd occasions that we do have sex, it is very porn style. There is no emotion involved, never any tenderness or gentleness, just a good hard thumping with porn style dirty talk. While I don't mind this now and again, it would help if I could get turned on before we started (my H's idea of foreplay is to start manhandling my crotch area very vigorously). We tend to have sex in uncomfortable positions that are obviously designed to let a camera get in there! Most of the time if I'm on my back, he likes to stretch my legs up alongside my shoulders (with knees straight which is a bit of a killer) and pound away. He's also very LD and it seems that this type of sex is the only way he gets turned on, but it does very little for me at all. I long for a more sophisticated sex life that would involve different types and moods for sex, rather than this pounding every time. We haven't had sex for nearly 6 weeks now and I'm reaching the desperate stage again. But I've decided that the next time he wants sex, I really can't be bothered. It's bad enough that he's so LD, but the fact that when we do have sex it's crap has now left me uninterested in having sex with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely desperate for sex, but I want it to be good when I get it.
Does your husband know all of this, I suggest you communicate. This should be a pretty big deal to him and he should work on it!!!
 

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I do think porn can become an addiction and when it gets to that level, it can be a death knell to a marriage just as alcoholism or other addictions. My spouse also had issues with porn a few years ago when he was going through a personal health crisis. Things got pretty bad and his overuse of it along with other poor choices nearly destroyed us.

There is help out there such as sex and love addicts anonymous, sex addicts anonymous, and porn addicts anonymous. I would start looking up meetings in your area. It is probably intimidating to seek help but at least if you go to the meetings, you will be surrounded by people who have been there/understand. Unless someone has gone through it themselves, they may not know how to help you. I strongly suggest you take Ray up on his offer to PM as he has been there himself.

There are also online support groups for porn/masturbation addicition. This one seems quite active. You may find that place more suited for your needs but by all means you are of course welcome to post here. Your brain on porn also has a list of other support forums that may be of interest to you.
 

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If you can get an erection with porn, but not with your wife, it seems like you don't need Viagra or Cialis. But, I'm not a doctor, am I?
 

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Get rid of the smartphone, have wife put a pass code on all computers and you do not get access. Give the wife all your account passwords, access to all credit card statements, bank statements ( she will know where the money is being spent). Good first step. Start seeing a shrink would be the next step.
 
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