[east2west]

I've been on a bunch of threads regarding pornography lately. A persistent theme is that porn creates unrealistic or wrong attitudes and visuals about what sex should be like. I never understand what people are spouting about when they say this.

My guess is they think that because I have been looking at porn for so long my whole idea of sex is just wrong. Probably the sex I have with my wife every day or so is all wrong too.

So what is it that's wrong about the sex you see in porn?

The anatomy of the actors and actresses?
The sexual acts that they engage in?
The way they do those acts?
Something else?

 

[Hope1964]

So what is it that's wrong about the sex you see in porn?

The anatomy of the actors and actresses?
The sexual acts that they engage in?
The way they do those acts?
Something else?

Yep.

 

[ARF]

I'm a male, so I am just making an assumption here regarding porn vs. real sex. Porn is typically made for a male audience. It portrays sex in a manner that is appealing to the male viewer. It may not be typical of the manner in which a female likes to receive it. May work for some and not others. I'm no expert.

 

[Hope1964]

How many people actually make love so that both their genital areas can be picked up by camera from the best angle??

 

[kingsfan]

The only thing I see wrong with sex in porn, is that women are typically treated like a piece of meat.

Conversely, the only thing I see wrong with sex in marriage is men are typically treated to vanilla sex.

 

[LearninAsWeGo]

You watch porn to get off (as a guy). It's not made to be instructional. It's occasionally a decent "instructional," but only if you're looking to f uck... not to make love. Most women will go for a good f ucking from time to time, but they want a lot more variety in a long term relationship (assuming they value themself... and you).

If you want to make love, it's much slower, more intimate, and more connected than 99.9% of porn. I'd suggest you buy some better sex instructional DVDs or a karma sutra book/DVD if you need to learn more intimate sex techniques. If you honestly think internet porn is the way real sex should be, you are gonna be dissatisfied, and your partners will too.

And yeah, the big ****s, big boobs, makeup, over the top moaning and grunting, big loads or squirts, etc is a bit unrealistic. That stuff can be fun sometimes and it's a decent way to learn or visualize fantasies for you and a partner you care for, but to expect porn type sex every session is crazy and doomed for a feeling of failure.

I'm a male, so I am just making an assumption here regarding porn vs. real sex. Porn is typically made for a male audience. It portrays sex in a manner that is appealing to the male viewer. It may not be typical of the manner in which a female likes to receive it. May work for some and not others. I'm no expert.

Basically correct ^

 

[jaquen]

I don't even know what the hell "porn sex is". There is such a massive variety of different kinds of porn out in the world that I can't fathom what people are talking about when they rant on and on about how unrealistic "porn sex" is. For every single "unrealistic" cliche you can name about a piece of porn, you can find more porn that doesn't fit the mold.

 

[Catherine602]

If you have to ask.....

May I ask what do you think. Which, if any, of the aspects of porn that you listed is realistic to you.

Why do you think some people might think it is fantasy?

I watched porn with my husband at his invitation. I said I did not like it so he asked me to watch with him and tell me what i did not like. He was relieved when i said i cant see any more.

What impressed me was that the women were all so excited and theatrical yet their eyes were dead. They were uniform in their desire to display themselves, seemed to have similar personalities, had orgasms in an amazingly short time usually upon seeing an undressed man. They all had perfect bodies, were under 25 and had humongous boobs that did not jiggle.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[east2west]

I'm a male, so I am just making an assumption here regarding porn vs. real sex. Porn is typically made for a male audience. It portrays sex in a manner that is appealing to the male viewer. It may not be typical of the manner in which a female likes to receive it. May work for some and not others. I'm no expert.

So do you think that men and women are just wired to like different kinds of sex such that what is enjoyable for men is not as enjoyable for women and vice versa?

 

[Grayson]

How many people actually make love so that both their genital areas can be picked up by camera from the best angle??

Probably about as many people who arrange their furniture so that, regardless of where they sit, their face is visible to the camera, a la a sitcom.

Personally, I think that's where some of the disconnect regarding porn lies. Most who view it understand that it represents reality about as much as a sitcom or cop show or movie or...you get my point. Meanwhile, those who disapprove of it, for one reason or another, can't or don't make that mental connection (likely due to the explicit nature of showing that its "real" sex). Of course, there are those who just plain don't like it, the same way there are genres of TV, movies and music I don't care for. It's not for instructional purposes...it's for entertainment purposes.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[east2west]

If you have to ask.....

May I ask what do you think. Which, if any, of the aspects of porn that you listed is realistic to you.

Why do you think some people might think it is fantasy?
Posted via Mobile Device

Sure.

The anatomy of the actors and actresses?

Porn normally features very fit men and women. I don't think being porn fit is unrealistic or out of reach for anyone, but it takes a lot of work. The men normally have above average size d!cks and the women normally have fake boobs, but those aren't normally the draw for me at least. I don't like seeing ugly people in porn, men or women.

The sexual acts that they engage in?

I don't see anything unrealistic or offensive in most of the standard "hardcore" porn that most people are familiar with. There is a sort of standard cycle of positions that they go through, none of which are unrealistic, but some are more for the camera, not really for pleasure. Most of us probably don't hit 20 positions in a single round of sex, but I don't see it as being a problem in video form. I'd get bored as hell otherwise.

The way they do those acts?

Nothing unrealistic there as far as I'm concerned.

Something else?

For my own taste I've always enjoyed the more artsy porn with the right kind of music, clothing, lighting and camera work, props, etc.... over the garden variety 2 or more people getting it on videos. I try to get a little artsy in the bedroom too.

Basically when I look at porn I have one of three reactions.

1) That's hot we should try that.
2) That's hot but only for jerking off to, not in real life.
3) Boooring. NEXT!

 

[ARF]

So do you think that men and women are just wired to like different kinds of sex such that what is enjoyable for men is not as enjoyable for women and vice versa?

In many cases I would guess that is correct. Obviously not all women want it like the women I have experienced. In my sex life, my wife enjoys the intimacy of love making by a general closeness. She doesn't want to be exposed like those women on porn. I like the imtimacy as, but I am different as their are times I just want to bend her over a piece of furniture, have at it, and go about my business. Doesn't mean she is a piece of meat to me. I just find her sexually appealing, and want to take care of it more carnally from time to time.

 

[Hope1964]

Porn normally features very fit men and women. I don't think being porn fit is unrealistic or out of reach for anyone, but it takes a lot of work.

Um, I hate to tell you this, but 99% of women on this planet could never look like a porn star unless they had MAJOR plastic surgery and went back in time 20 or 30 or 40 years. It's a totally unrealistic goal for us. And the fact there are guys who think like this is one of the reasons so many younger women are so insecure about their bodies today. And older women too, although I said younger first because they aren't as comfortable with themselves in general as older women in long term relationships tend to be. Yes I am generalizing.

 

[east2west]

Um, I hate to tell you this, but 99% of women on this planet could never look like a porn star unless they had MAJOR plastic surgery and went back in time 20 or 30 or 40 years. It's a totally unrealistic goal for us. And the fact there are guys who think like this is one of the reasons so many younger women are so insecure about their bodies today. And older women too, although I said younger first because they aren't as comfortable with themselves in general as older women in long term relationships tend to be. Yes I am generalizing.

I assume we are just talking about excess body fat and not other aspects of one's appearance. But I am of the opinion that this is a simple matter of matching your caloric intake to your activity level. The food we eat and the way we eat it are the real problem here. You can spend your life in counseling to convince yourself that your excess fat is attractive or you can just eat right and exercise right and get the body you really want. Oh and you'll also feel better, your brain will work better and you'll be able to have life experiences that you would have missed out on being too out of shape for them. And did I mention the increased sex drive and sexual performance?

/rant off

 

[kag123]

<3 that post above me, could not agree more!!

I watch porn. I like penises. Fortunately its not hard to find lots of clips of just that.

Watching women in porn kind of freaks me out. None of them are wet! Their eyes are dead. It feels a lot like watching a man with a blow up doll. There is no passion there. I find the whole thing strange. But then, I don't find myself attracted to the female anatomy. I am however attracted to male anatomy so even if the acting is bad, I can still watch it. In that way, I get it.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[east2west]

FrenchFry, all great points, especially the racial stereotypes.

I never understood the whole anal thing in porn either. To me there is not much difference between watching a penis thrusting into a vagina or an anus. But there must be a lot of customers who really want to see anal sex as opposed to vaginal.

So many great points. Thank you.

 

[jaharthur]

You guys must watch a different kind of porn than I do. I would never go to youporn or redtube--to me the stuff there is not erotic at all.

There's a fair amount of porn now being produced that isn't gonzo and doesn't focus on the guy pounding the woman. Especially if you're into stuff that focuses on semi-amateurs pleasuring themselves. No anal, no facial, none of that mainstream yucky porn stuff. Interestingly, my wife prefers the solo woman style even though she's 100% heterosexual. Perhaps the women here can explain that. It's OK by me, because I prefer it, too.

Also, there's a lot of porn featuring Asian women. Japanese porn alone is a huge genre. It's true, however, that black women are shown much less frequently.

 

[Mike_O]

@east2west - thanks for starting this thread.

@FrenchFry - your posts on this thread are priceless - I agree with you 100% and could not have said it better! Now I need to find your other posts... Thanks!

 

[lovelygirl]

I never get off watching porn because it turns out to be disgusting rather than exciting.
A sex movie is much better.
Porn is too physical, cold and emotionless, the banging rhythm becomes boring, ugly girls and guys, watching vaginal juices make me want to throw up.

BUT, in my alone time I do have porn fantasies when including people from real life provided that there's emotion between me and the guy I'm imagining.

 

[jaquen]

When it comes to the racial stereotypes in pornography, it definitely didn't start there. Those tired old racial stereos about "ethnic" women have been around for a long, long time. Porn is rarely innovative; it just doesn't often pretend to be progressive or enlightened.

FrenchFry is killing it in this thread. Great, TRUTHFUL insights about "mainstream" porn.