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I would agree with your point. - if he is actually doing that. And if that pressure is somehow related back to the porn.

But nothing she has said describes what pressure he is exerting or how it ties back to the porn.

She said he makes comments about women being attractive. Well yeah duh, there are attractive women everywhere, the grocery store, the mall, the gas station etc etc

But if he is supposedly not supposed to watching porn, then why is she blaming porn for him thinking other women are attractive??

If he isn’t supposed to be watching it and if she has no actual evidence of him watching it and if he is denying watching it - then why is porn being blamed for his expectations and pressure???

Now I’m not saying he’s not watching it and I’m not saying he isn’t pressuring her due to it.

But what I am asking is what is the connection here? There are a few missing dots here between the fact that porn exists in the world and that their problems and these supposed unrealistic expectations are being caused by porn.

More substantive details are needed to make the connection here.

Otherwise all we have is some gal who doesn’t like porn in general accusing her husband of things and problems in their marriage for which there is no connecting evidence for.
She did say that he's pushing and pressuring her for things she doesn't want. Do we know for sure that it's porn related? I suppose that's hard to unequivocally prove but it's highly likely.

But I agree that there are separate issues that don't all necessarily tie back to porn. Commenting on attractive women isn't a porn issue....it's an asshole issue. Particularly if his wife doesn't feel attractive. We all notice good looking people but we can all be discreet about it.

So i think you have a situation here with overlapping issues.....she doesn't feel attractive, her hb (at least from her perspective) doesn't do much to help her feel attractive, he (according to her) comments on other women in front of her (rude behavior ), and you're right that she just doesn't like porn. Lots of women don't so this may just be a compatibility issue. I would argue though that it's not uncommon for men who watch a lot of porn to start pushing boundaries with their wives. If we're to argue that his porn is his business then we should also argue that it's not his wife’s problem that he wants what he sees in porn. Marital sex is important but she isn't responsible for things he happens to find doing something that isn't her business.

But its also possible that if she felt better about herself and had a better relationship with her hb she might not care so much about the porn.
 

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I haven't asked why. He has content of me and the 2 of us together so I don't understand why he needs more than that... since I don't. But as a result of his habit, he ends up asking me to do things I'm not comfortable with and continues to harass me about it and I end up feeling like the bad guy. We try new things but there is just some stuff I'm not comfortable with. Does your wife know or care? I get that some women are fine with it but I think since he knows I'm not, he should stop...
So get yourself some monster wang, cuckold, humiliation porn and make your husband watch it while he is tied face down while you play with a huge dildo and say derogatory things about his manhood and his inability to satisfy you and then start pegging him with an anaconda while you flog his butt cheeks.

If he turns you down, give him the same ration of poop he gives you.

He is being stupid and selfish and he could use a wake up call.
 

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So get yourself some monster wang, cuckold, humiliation porn and make your husband watch it while he is tied face down while you play with a huge dildo and say derogatory things about his manhood and his inability to satisfy you and then start pegging him with an anaconda while you flog his butt cheeks.

If he turns you down, give him the same ration of poop he gives you.

He is being stupid and selfish and he could use a wake up call.
Ha ha....i like how you think.

OP, it may seem like a joke but there is something to be said for a little empathy. Let him see you checking out huge penis porn and make some comments about men on the street and how big their package probably is.

This whole dynamic has been about what yoir hb is entitled to. How about what you're entitled to?
 

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Ha ha....i like how you think.

OP, it may seem like a joke but there is something to be said for a little empathy. Let him see you checking out huge penis porn and make some comments about men on the street and how big their package probably is.

This whole dynamic has been about what yoir hb is entitled to. How about what you're entitled to?
I'm continually perplexed by people who don't consider that the weapon, ploy, tactic or methods they use on others could be used on them as well?

You have some experience with this and your story always cracks me up!😆
 

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She did say that he's pushing and pressuring her for things she doesn't want. Do we know for sure that it's porn related? I suppose that's hard to unequivocally prove but it's highly likely.

But I agree that there are separate issues that don't all necessarily tie back to porn. Commenting on attractive women isn't a porn issue....it's an asshole issue. Particularly if his wife doesn't feel attractive. We all notice good looking people but we can all be discreet about it.

So i think you have a situation here with overlapping issues.....she doesn't feel attractive, her hb (at least from her perspective) doesn't do much to help her feel attractive, he (according to her) comments on other women in front of her (rude behavior ), and you're right that she just doesn't like porn. Lots of women don't so this may just be a compatibility issue. I would argue though that it's not uncommon for men who watch a lot of porn to start pushing boundaries with their wives. If we're to argue that his porn is his business then we should also argue that it's not his wife’s problem that he wants what he sees in porn. Marital sex is important but she isn't responsible for things he happens to find doing something that isn't her business.

But its also possible that if she felt better about herself and had a better relationship with her hb she might not care so much about the porn.
She said this 'But as a result of his habit, he ends up asking me to do things I'm not comfortable with and continues to harass me about it and I end up feeling like the bad guy. ' So it is the porn.
 

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I'm continually perplexed by people who don't consider that the weapon, ploy, tactic or methods they use on others could be used on them as well?

You have some experience with this and your story always cracks me up!😆
Yes I do.....I'm kind of a ***** that way 😀

I can say that it does work, but its unfortunate when one has to resort to it. It creates an adversarial atmosphere that's really not good for the marriage, but sometimes it's necessary.
 

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So get yourself some monster wang, cuckold, humiliation porn and make your husband watch it while he is tied face down while you play with a huge dildo and say derogatory things about his manhood and his inability to satisfy you and then start pegging him with an anaconda while you flog his butt cheeks.

If he turns you down, give him the same ration of poop he gives you.

He is being stupid and selfish and he could use a wake up call.
Careful with that, he may dig it.

Years ago the comedian Elaine Booseler posed the question in one of her stand-up routines on why women don’t drive up to men on the street and ask them to get in their cars and go for a ride like men do. The reason she stated, “ is because men would actually get in our cars!”

Men aren’t intimidated and threatened by women’s sexual assertions they way women are of men’s. Most dig it and would embrace it in fact.

Men only get squeamish when their partner wants to start screwing other men in real life (and some will even dig that)

While men certainly do have their insecurities about their size and performance etc, it is triggered differently and manifests differently than women’s insecurities.

If she wanted to start watching huge wang cuckold porn, i’d bet good money he would be more than happy to oblige.

And if she said she wanted to peg him with a big ‘ol dildo, she would need to be prepared for him bend over and grab his ankles.

And if she was making comments about guys packages on the street, he would probably just take that as a challenge to show her what he could do with his.

One of the reasons men seem so clueless and insensitive about their comments to women is because similar comments don’t effect them the same.
 

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She said this 'But as a result of his habit, he ends up asking me to do things I'm not comfortable with and continues to harass me about it and I end up feeling like the bad guy. ' So it is the porn.
He may be pressuring her to do things she doesn’t want to do, I’m not really questioning that.

The questions I raised are in substantiating that this is actually porn related.

Usually when women write in here about porn issues they say they are finding porn on his computers or phone or finding porn/picture sharing apps or even catching him red handed (no pun intended LOL).

And if they find teen porn and the H is pressuring them to dress in cheerleader uniforms etc, you can draw a correlation.

But she hasn’t as of yet even given any evidence or cause for her suspicion. She said she hasn’t checked his phone etc.

So why is she assuming he is “obsessed “. with porn and why is she assuming his pressure is due to porn.

Other than the fact porn exists and other than the fact he is a guy, what what corroborating evidence is there that he is in fact using porn and that the porn is attributing to his pressure on her.

She is the one asserting that porn is ruing her marriage (the actual title of the thread no less) but has given no actual evidence of him doing it in present times.
 

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Yes I do.....I'm kind of a * that way 😀

I can say that it does work, but its unfortunate when one has to resort to it. It creates an adversarial atmosphere that's really not good for the marriage, but sometimes it's necessary.
I replied to Conan’s post about this but to reiterate - if my wife told me she wanted to watch huge wang cuckold porn and get off to it with a big vibrator, I’d ask how big she wants the wangs to be and of what race and how many and then run up to the store to get fresh batteries for the vibrator and would probably get speeding tickets on both the way to and from the store.

As long as it wasn’t porn involving minors or animals or anything that would get us arrested, I would gladly oblige her and embrace whatever tripped her trigger even if it wasn’t something that interested me at all.

However If she was clearly doing something to hurt me or offend me or intentionally trying to make me feel insecure or humiliated, then yes, that would be very adversarial and hostile.

If that is what is needed to make him see the light and get him to be more considerate of her, Then they have problems way beyond him sneaking a spank in the bathroom to some youporn.

If he is intentionally and knowingly making her insecure and hurting her feelings and pressuring her to things she doesn’t want, then he is abusive and needs to be addressed as such.

If he is just so insensitive and bumbling that he is clueless to her discomfort, then he is either an ass or she needs be more assertive in enforcing her boundaries.
 

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I would argue though that it's not uncommon for men who watch a lot of porn to start pushing boundaries with their wives.
I've never understood this "men want things that they see in porn that they didn't previously want" idea.

I never wanted anal sex.

When I see anal sex in porn, I skip it and watch something I like instead.

I guess it's possible that I'd see something that I hadn't known about (hard to imagine what I might like that I hadn't previously known could be done) and ask my wife if she wanted to give it a try, but I've never seen something I had previously not liked and started wanting it because I saw it in porn.
 

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So get yourself some monster wang, cuckold, humiliation porn and make your husband watch it while he is tied face down while you play with a huge dildo and say derogatory things about his manhood and his inability to satisfy you and then start pegging him with an anaconda while you flog his butt cheeks.

If he turns you down, give him the same ration of poop he gives you.

He is being stupid and selfish and he could use a wake up call.
😂
 
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I've never understood this "men want things that they see in porn that they didn't previously want" idea.

I never wanted anal sex.

When I see anal sex in porn, I skip it and watch something I like instead.

I guess it's possible that I'd see something that I hadn't known about (hard to imagine what I might like that I hadn't previously known could be done) and ask my wife if she wanted to give it a try, but I've never seen something I had previously not liked and started wanting it because I saw it in porn.
Part of the problem is expecting the unrealistic and often very uncomfortable or even painful sex acts of porn in real life.

I cringe when I think about porn scene sex. It is god awful and those guys would truly suck in the sack if that is how they behaved off camera.

Someone, I think the poster you quoted, mentioned that more independent or amateur porn was coming out and maybe that is somewhat more realistic?
 

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Uhg, the porn conundrum.

This is unfortunately something most wives just have to deal with. My husband also claims he never looks at porn and only looks at the boudoir book I gave him as a wedding present. I dont believe him, but I appreciate the sentiment lol...

That being said, I dont think porn is anything more than a stimulant/means to an end for most men. In the mood and wife isnt around? Porn! If porn was anything close to the real deal, we wouldn't have cheaters or nearly as many married men for that matter.

Do you feel like he is replacing you with porn? Maybe try to meet him in the middle when it comes to porn. You've made it clear the lying is the issue more than the porn. Seems like you two need to have a conversation about each other's needs. This may be a good thing though! I think its a huge milestone to get to a place in your marriage where you can have this type of open discussion without it being shameful.
 
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